Wow! The size of a finger! Sounds like this is just the phone you need to beat the boss. But don't take my word for it, check out what these satisfied customers thought:
Gareth Clear was mountain biking when he fell and damaged his iPhone in his back pocket. According to him, he soon noticed smoke pouring from his behing and felt a searing sensation on the right side of his buttocks.
He was taken to hospital for skin grafting. Apple has contacted Mr Clear to say they are looking into the issue but have not provided any further comment. Stay tuned!
In the mean time, Mr. Clean (what's in a name) will be the butt of jokes...
(IMAGE: GARETH CLEAR/DAILY MAIL)
Gotta eat the booty like elephant butt?
One curious hyena got the surprise of its life after finding a dead elephant carcass and shoving its head inside the elephant's anus.
It is actually a common scenario for predators to start devouring an animal starting with the booty. But in this case, the hyena maybe should have started elsewhere.
"He got a little bit of a scare from that," says one of the scientists in the video.
Yes, yes he did. We are all scared of elephant buttholes now.
Chrissy Teigen's Instagram account continues to give up the goods, even if she won't.
Enjoying a hot summer day, July 30 Teigen posted a little snippet of what it must be like to live around the supermodel/actor/Lip Sync Battle cohost.
Poor John Legend. No one feels bad for you.
Teigen's relationship with Instagram has been a wild one to watch. It stems from the fact that she is routinely, and delightfully, very honest about her personal life.
She regularly posts topless pictures to her account, angering the Instagram censors, but obviously bringing her lots of joy.
Here's a censored version of her most recent topless picture, which Instagram removed because it violated their terms.
This probably, definitely, won't be the last, or the least, we will see of Teigen on Instagram.
Guarding endangered sea turtle nests doesn't sound like it would require a gun, but one guy in Florida thought it necessary.
New York Daily News reported that 72-year-old Stanley Pannaman was just minding his own business July 18, volunteering for an organization who protect sea turtle habitats until the little eggs hatch and the turtles find their way into the sea.
The Tamarac resident, who grew up in Queens and raised his family in Bay Shore, Long Island before retiring to Florida in 2001, volunteers for a local group that sits by sea turtle nests on the beach and ensures they are not disturbed until the tiny baby turtles hatch and go to the ocean.
The nests are surrounded with sticks and tape and Pannaman makes sure no person or animal hurts the sea creatures. When they are born the tiny turtles may be drawn to the light from nearby cars or homes, so Pannaman will pick them up and bring them to the water.
That is until Michael Q. McAuliffe came along and ruined the night.
McAuliffe, who was very drunk, got close to the protected habitat and in the volunteer's face about his dislike of "turtle people". He jumped on Pannaman and took the Vietnam veterans gun away. McAuliffe then shot the elderly man in the abdomen where the bullet lodged in his derriere.
The police came, arrested McAuliffe and sent Pannaman to the hospital who was then released July 19.
Despite being shot with his own wedding, the Florida has no regrets.
Pannaman said he doesn't regret bring the gun and is just happy he didn't bring his normal Taurus .357 Magnum that would have caused him greater injuries.
"I figured I was going to the beach, I figured I could just carry the .32 caliber pistol," he said.
Thankfully, all the sea turtles are fine and nary a bobcat was seen near the nest.
Sure, you love your cat, but if only there were some sparkly way to cover up the parts of your pet that you love less.
Well, Twinkle Tush is here to fix that problem that you never even would have considered anyone ever has had.
By hanging a large, sparkly gem around a short string, you can thread your poor, embarrassed cat's tail through and cover up its terrible, terrible anus.
According to the product's website, the Twinkle Tush is merely trying to protect your sensitive houseguest's eyes from the specter that is cat anatomy.
Have you ever thrown a respectable cocktail party at your home only to have your feline family member come out and proudly display their uncovered rear? While kitty might enjoy showing off their brown eye, we're sure your guests don't like to see that one eyed monster while munching on their caviar. Give your cat some class. Hang a Twinkle Tush from their tail and cover that butt in bling.
So many questions.
How much is this marvel of innovation, you're probably shouting at the computer screen. Well, the good people at Cat Crib want to sell you this accessory for the low, low price of $5.99.
To their credit, they do admit it is a gag gift, though seem very interested in slinging some of these feline butt covers.
Their usual modus operandi is selling fabric that you put under your chairs to make a cat hammock. This is probably just an attempt to diversify.
Paper Magazine has unveiled the cover of its Winter issue, starring Kim Kardashian.
And not to be out-shined by Keira Knightley's topless photoshoot for Interview Magazine, Kim's decided to go full butt.
The magazine says it used Kim to try to "break the Internet" (whatever that means) - but we're pretty sure that Ted Cruz is doing a good job of that himself.
"There is no other person that we can think of who is up to the task than one Kim Kardashian West. A pop culture fascination able to generate headlines just by leaving her house, Kim is what makes the web tick."
There are two versions of the cover, one of her oiled up and bending over to highlight her ass-ets, and one taken by French photographer Jean-Paul Goude to recreate his "Champagne Incident" shot.
Kim made a joke about this on her Twitter to help fuel the fire for the great Internet Breakage of 2014:
If for some reason you haven't already seen the images at this point, you can view both covers. including the uncensored butt version on Paper Magazine's website (WARNING).
And of course, she is already being meme-ed as well.
Kim Kardashian looks so much like a centaur in Paper Magazine, I figured I'd take it one step further. pic.twitter.com/Sh70yV43gE— Kelkulus (@kelkulus) November 12, 2014
Workout Fanatic Jen Selter had no idea her rear end would get so much attention when she first started posting pictures of her exercise routines on Instagram. Now the 20-year-old New Yorker has one of the most famous rumps in the world, building up an impressive following on the social media platform that includes mega-celebrity Rihanna.
When I heard that Rihanna was following me on Instagram, I was the happiest girl," Selter says. "It just shows that if talent is following you, you're doing something right."