crazy

Everyone celebrates the holidays in their own way. Whether you’re lighting the menorah or putting presents under the tree, one thing remains true: The holidays are a season of giving and warm wishes.

Which explains why this pastor gave the gift of cold reality with a dash outright crazy to a line of people waiting to see Santa Claus at the mall this weekend. That'll bring people back into the church for sure. 

via Reddit

Over the weekend, Pastor David Grisham from Last Frontier Evangelism walked into a mall in Amarillo, TX and did a real bang up job of getting people interested in the story of Christmas. Grisham walked up and down the line, telling the children that “There is no Santa Claus.” Here's what he had to say: 

”Folks, my name is Pastor David. Kids, I wanted to tell you today that there is no such thing as Santa Claus. Santa Claus does no exist. The Christmas season is about Jesus. Jesus was born 2,016 year ago... The man you’re about to see today is just a man in a suit dressed up like Santa, but Santa does not exist."

Then addressing the parents, he continued:

"Don’t lie to your children and tell them there’s such a thing as Santa when you know in reality that there are no flying reindeer. There is no workshop on the North Pole. There is no elves making toys.”

Anyway, parents in line didn’t take too kindly to someone with such a tenuous grip on reality lecturing them on reality. So a couple of dads with beards confronted this man and informed him that it’s perfectly fine for them to lie to their children if they want to.

And you know what, it is every parent's right to lie to their children. When they say, you can’t have ice cream for dinner, of course you can have ice cream; they just don’t want you to. Lies all lies!

But according to Huffington Post, there actually is a Santa Claus. They write:

”Whether Grisham knows it or not, historians say the character of Santa Claus as we know him today is based off a Christian saint, Saint Nicolas, whose generosity toward children as a Greek bishop led to him being declared a patron saint of children and bringer of gifts.

One of St. Nicolas’ most famous acts, which may sound familiar to those who celebrate Christmas, was him saving three sisters from being sold into prostitution by dropping a bag of gold down the indebted family’s chimney so they could pay off their dowries. One of the bags happened to land in one girl’s stocking that had been hung up to dry, according to historian Bill Petro.

So open a book, Grisham, and stop trying to ruin everyone’s Christmas by reminding parents that they lie to their children, so their kids can have one nice day out in this awful year.

via Reddit

Some people are born to be stunt drivers.

Take for instance, this driver from Albuquerque, NM. After dropping a friend off, he went out for some late e night Carl's Jr, when a red Chrysler 300 stopped in front of him. Confused, our would-be stunt driver begins backing up down the street and takes off across the streets of Albuquerque. It's nuts. 

via iFunny

With the split screen created by the driver’s dashboard camera (one facing the windshield, the other facing the driver), you can get a sense of how intense this situation was. This seven minute is the best action movie of the year, and this dude needs a part in Fast 8.

'Good deeds don't go unpunished,' demonstrated Mother Nature, or Jack Frost.

24-year-old Matthew Bove hit Twitter Monday morning to share a spectacular photo, which depicts an impossible stroke of bad luck. Or this dude dipped overcharged his karma bank recently. Either way Bove made the safe decision to leave his car overnight by a bar him and his friends had spent their evening at. So Kudos to Bove for making the right call.

What happens when you park your car near Rt. 5 @WKBW @7FirstAlert #Buffalo pic.twitter.com/lEqoOXHlz8

— Matthew Bové (@Matt_Bove) January 11, 2016

What you see here is the icy aftermath of what's called the lake-effect phenomenon. This takes place when a cold front absorbs moisture as it passes over a big, warm body of water, and then tends to produce absurd amounts of snowfall.

For a moment there we thought this might be the latest in a string of prior Jimmy Kimmel vs. John Krasinski & Emily Blunt pranks. In case you were unaware those two star-studded teams have been exchanging Christmas-wrapped cars for blows in an epic ongoing prank war.

Old habits die young, but sometimes very young.

Florida what are you doing with yourself? This woman puts on quite the show. At times this almost looks like a frickin spar, and her some sort of untrained Ronda Rousey knockoff.

"Alcohol-soaked tampon. Alcohol absorbs like fitty times faster through the pooper."

Do people like this actually exist?

Wait, what? With the skin? Kids these days man.

This is definitely the little champ you wanted on your team in middle school when you were on a field trip, and you had to pick someone for 'the watermelon challenge.' Oh well, when at a cricket match right?

Dubai right now! #horrific!! Address Hotel on fire pic.twitter.com/Q5qzGuBYRO

— Atieh S (@AtiehS) December 31, 2015

Dubai's up in flames, and we're crossing our fingers this is just a sneak peek into the next unannounced 'Die Hard' flick.

Will the real Bruce Willis please stand up?

Apparently Taylor Swift is just your standard run of the mill ageless beauty that may have been around for a long while.

Internet folk from all walks of life had their minds blown when this fine and prime 1970s photo of Taylor Swift's unofficial twin surfaced.

The resemblance is uncanny, but more important, is this a mere symptom of a glitch in the matrix? Who's to say?

A group of college students had the real-life Professor Snape.

His name was Henry Lloyd Snape, and while he didn't wield a wand—far as we know— fawn after Lily Potter, or make a mad magical potion; he did claim his expertise in the field of Chemistry. So, he was pretty much the Half Blood Prince. Check him out, pictured in the center, below.

In The Irish Times, the real-life Professor Snape is described as uncannily lenient towards a dark but charismatic disposition, much like the demeanor of Severus as played by Alan Rickman in the 'Harry Potter' flicks.

What gets the bit between the teeth on the connection between Henry Lloyd and JK's Severus Snape, is Rodger's discovery of a recent lecture that was titled 'The Philosopher of Stone.' This immediately brings to mind the title of the first 'Harry Potter' book, 'Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone.'

As a final resounding note we'll add that Henry Lloyd taught at Aberystwyth University, an old college building that had Gothic spires and turrets eerily similar to Hogwarts.

What do you expect? The young man's already a hunk and a half of a chiseled Spaniard pop star with gushy vocals that pretty much epitomize bottled up lust.

Coupled with his not so vaguely sexually expressive tour title: 'Love and Sex' Tour, undergarments were bound to fly.

Now we have the Sri Lankan President Maithripala Sirisena shaking his head and barking that the women organizers in attendance at the show should be "whipped with toxic stingray tails", referring to an ancient form of punishment.

Sirisena described the women that attended the Iglesias concert as reportedly removing, then chucking their bras and panties up on stage. Sirisena went on to say this is the "most uncivilized behavior that goes against our culture." Apparently stingray lashes were administered on criminals in Sri Lanka. Like, nope.

Brought to you fresh and fried out of Lecanto, Florida, The Citrus County Sheriff's Office arrested a woman on shoplifting and drug paraphernalia charges. She was apprehended amidst a shopping cart fueled joyride out of hell.

The woman's been identified as Josseleen Elida Lopez, 25. Lopez was held after scarfing down $32.36 worth of food and wine. She told the authorities she's homeless.

If you're going to hit rock bottom, at least eat some chicken, and wash it down with some wine right? In all seriousness we wish Lopez the best on her road to recovery. Deputies disclosed to the press that they found two empty syringes after arresting Lopez, which she claims she used to inject crystal meth.

The Swedes are nuts man. In honor of upholding a Christmas tradition, a 25-year-old Swede set ablaze an enormous decorative goat made of straw.

The authorities are waiting to question the emboldened madman, likely hopped up on all manners of vodka, till he sobers up. Apparently the goat preceded Santa as the bringer of Christmas gifts in old Swedish tradition.

Hafthór Björnsson famous for his role on 'Game of Thrones' as Gregor 'The Mountain' Clegane. We'll bet you didn't know that this massive godlike species of a man played professional basketball in Iceland before he took up lifting/moving very heavy things; and finally acting as his full-time career.

So, yeah. Take a moment to imagine this gigantic beast of a dude running down a basketball court, full speed, and with you as the only obstacle between him and the hoop.

Uhh, fu*k that noise is right. He's like one of those steroid-addled, veiny, superhuman, cartoon beasts from 'Space Jam,' but even bigger.

Hide yo kids, hide wives, hide yo husbands, and definitely hide yo grandmas. The only way we could make this very real life story of a reindeer running amok through the tea-soaked streets of a temporarily improper Nottingham, is if Arnold Shwarzznegger reprised his role from Jingle All The Way, to catch the runaway reindeer.

Somebody must've slipped something in Bjorn the reindeer's eggnog Sunday, because he went buckwild.

"I was putting some Christmas cards up in the window and just saw it come charging down the street," local resident Gemma Green told the Nottingham Post. "Then I saw a group of people following it.

"It was quite strange. It's like the scene from Arthur Christmas where Santa loses his reindeer. I thought I was seeing things at first." Maybe she was, but heck if that's a way to spur some Christmas spirit.