crime

driving fail tree A Woman Crashed Into a Tree and Proceeded to Just Drive Around With It Stuck in the Hood of Her Car
  • -
  • Vote
  • -

The Roselle, Illinois police department posting a picture of a car with a 15-foot tree sticking out of it on their Facebook page with this description:

A few weeks ago, a Roselle police officer saw a car driving southbound on Roselle Road with a 15-foot tree embedded in the front grill of the car. After stopping the driver, he also noticed the airbags had been deployed (apparently from hitting the tree). After an investigation, the Roselle officer arrested the driver for Driving Under the Influence of Alcohol.

Yet another reason why you should not drink and drive!

This dashcam video actually shows her driving around with the tree sticking out of her car:

news-us-fugitive-sends-lima-police-selfie
Via Buzzfeed
  • -
  • Vote
  • -


The original photos received with disapproval from Mr. Pugh:


Just cause you're on the run, doesn't mean you stop caring about the looks--good and bad.


"This photo was sent to us by Mr Pugh himself," Lima Police Department wrote in a post.

Google logo


"Man, they just did me wrong," Mr Pugh disclosed while on an Ohio radio station about why he sent the selfie in the first place.

"They put a picture out that made me look like I was a Thundercat... or James Brown on the run. I can't do that.


Fans of this madness even banded together to pitch their efforts together, and start up a Facebook page for Pugh.

news-music-dan-auerbach-song-making-a-murderer
Via Uproxx
  • -
  • Vote
  • -

The Netflix documentary series, 'Making A Murderer,' has been nothing if not a productivity-robbing, cultural sensation since it dropped in December.

If you're one of those cave-dwellers who resides under a rock you should know that the documentary focuses on Steven Avery, a Wisconsin man, who might've been framed for crimes he didn't commit a few times.

The frontman for The Black Keys, Dan Auerbach, and his new blues-rock band, The Arcs took the global bingeing efforts to a new high with their recent released track, "Lake Superior."

The song references the Steven Avery criminal case, and the perverse, if not corrupt way the police and the criminal justice system considered as an entity, handled it.

Auerbach's vocals, as usual, don't disappoint; and manage to carry through song, the full emotional depth of this emotionally-riveting case.

Listen below:

  • -
  • Vote
  • -

Sit down Neil McCabe.

"It's just part of life, I think," proposes McCabe at one point, when he's confronted with the unavoidable fact that more than 130 people have already died from gun violence in the U.S. this year.

This is where Snow channels his inner GoT Jon Snow, and goes off in the most effective, yet vaguely stoic way possible.

"No, it's part of death, Mr. McCabe," responds Snow. "That's death. That's dead people, people who have died as a result of guns."

Stand up. Now leave Neil McCabe.

news-bradenton-burrito-heroin-drug-dealer-caught
  • -
  • Vote
  • -

The suspect handed the Blake Medical Center employee a bag of food he said was for a patient. The employee then checked the food inside the bag, and discovered a syringe hidden inside the burrito.

In light of recent news, what's actually unhealthier though? This drug dealer's heroin-infused culinary twist on the traditional burrito? Or whatever slid out Chipotle's kitchen last summer amidst the Norovirus outbreak scandal?

What are the odds Jesse Pinkman had the car running? Walter White is not pleased with all this heat.

news-picture-mike-rowe-bank-robbery-rumor
Via Uproxx
  • -
  • Vote
  • -

Mike Rowe needs you to hear him loud, and hear him clear, when he tells you he's not robbing banks.

The former 'Dirty Jobs' Host and 'Deadliest Catch' narrator's under a great deal of scrutiny after an image of what appears as Mike Rowe from a frickin parallel universe, holding up a bank, surfaced. The resemblance is uncanny, in every sense of the word.

The rumors went viral after various folks across Facebook joked that this was a maddened, wild ploy by Rowe to kickstart a new season of 'Dirty Jobs.'

Rowe was quick to the punch and fought to quell the fast uprising of these rumors by releasing an alibi on his Facebook page: "For what it's worth, I was in Kansas Monday, and can prove it, if need be."

Rowe went on to bury himself in a bit of a hole by offering up something of an outlandish theory, "what if the thief was not an idiot, but a clever person of below average height wearing a Mike Rowe Mask?"

Alright. Will the real Mike Rowe please stand up?

news-fail-mother-spends-powerball-money-millions
  • -
  • Vote
  • -

This latest bailout brings the total sum of funds Marie Holmes has dished out for her drug-trafficking boyfriend Lamarr McDow, to a whopping $21 million.

She's a multi-million dollar enabler who got lucky with the lottery, won a grand lump-sump payment of $181 million, and has since spent her winnings in the seemingly most irrational and symptomatically insane way possible. See McDow below.

Holmes has bailed her depraved and ungrateful boyfriend out from behind bars three times since March 2015. Someone close to this lady needs to talk some sense into her, and quick.

Via Uproxx
  • -
  • Vote
  • -

Bright and early Thursday morning, Couch's mother, Tonya Couch, returned--not by choice, mind you--to Los Angeles in a malestrom of controversy, where she was then arrested for allegedly helping her son flee the country.

The media however picked up and ran with a different, but beautifully ridiculous tidbit: Tonya's a stone cold knockout doppelganger for 'Carrot Top.'

Like, wait, what now?

news-fail-condom-robbery-explosion
Via ABC News
  • -
  • Vote
  • -

The poor fella needed protection from the protection he so adamantly, and somehow recklessly tried to acquire.

ABC News reports the 29-year-old man and a couple his buddies planned to steal the condoms by blowing the rubbers vending machine to smithereens.

Amidst the explosion the three fools took shelter in a car nearby, but the victim failed to close his door, and took a fatal shot to the noggin from a flying piece of metal.

news-miami-crime-woman-arrested-drugs-wal-mart-chicken-wine
Via CBS Miami
  • -
  • Vote
  • -

Brought to you fresh and fried out of Lecanto, Florida, The Citrus County Sheriff's Office arrested a woman on shoplifting and drug paraphernalia charges. She was apprehended amidst a shopping cart fueled joyride out of hell.

The woman's been identified as Josseleen Elida Lopez, 25. Lopez was held after scarfing down $32.36 worth of food and wine. She told the authorities she's homeless.

If you're going to hit rock bottom, at least eat some chicken, and wash it down with some wine right? In all seriousness we wish Lopez the best on her road to recovery. Deputies disclosed to the press that they found two empty syringes after arresting Lopez, which she claims she used to inject crystal meth.

news-chicago-police-officer-shoots-kills-black-teen-male-old-woman
Via Mashable
  • -
  • Vote
  • -

A Chicago police officer shot and killed 19-year-old black man Quintonio Legrier, and 55-year-old black woman Bettie Jones this morning, while responding to a domestic disturbance call, officials said.

As officers were called to the scene this morning at 4:25AM they were informed Legrier was seen brandishing a baseball bat, and in an evolving confrontation with his father. The officers described the young Legrier as a "combative subject."

Legrier's mother told the press his son was dealing with mental issues and was prone to loud, but never violent behavior.

"My son has seven bullet wounds in him," Cooksey told WLS-TV. "That's too much." Police disclosed the shooting is under current investigation, and has been referred to Chicago's main police oversight agency.

Via FOX5
  • -
  • Vote
  • -

No means no—yup, even to twerking.

Video of two women twerking on and groping a man at a gas station in Washington, D.C has led to one of the suspect's arrest.

Footage released by Metropolitan Police Department on Nov. 9 shows two women sexually assaulting a man by grinding on him and trying to gab his crotch.

Inside the store, the man asked the clerk for help and got this reply: "What do you want me to do?"

The man said the two women followed him outside to continue the assault.

The woman in custody has been charged with third-degree sexual abuse and police are offering a $1,000 for information leading to the other suspect's arrest.

Crime of The Day: Man Kills 'Zombie' Friend After Binge-Watching 'The Walking Dead'
Via USA TODAY
  • -
  • Vote
  • -

A man who had just finished binge-watching The Walking Dead on Netflix told police he killed his friend because the victim was slowly turning into a zombie.

Police say the New Mexico man, 23-year-old Damon Perry, beat his pal to death with an electric guitar and microwave before being taken into custody for threatening people with a knife around his apartment complex.

Wow, no chill.

Two maintenance workers held down the man before police arrived.

He was taken into custody where he told police his friend tried to bite him, Walker style.

A local newspaper says Perry was intoxicated at the time of arrest.

Did the suspect look something like this?

WTF of The Day: Woman Sends Notes to Neighbor Saying She Wants to Eat Their Children
Via WCOO
  • -
  • Vote
  • -

"The children look delicious. May I have a taste?"

Whoa.

Police say that's the message in a letter sent to a Minnesota family by a disgruntled neighbor who was angry the family's young children were being loud.

The note came from 38-year-old Carrie Pernula, who is now facing charges of gross misdemeanor terroristic threats and stalking.

"She was angry because the kids were leaving things in her yard and I think being a little noisy, being kids, the way kids are," Champlin Deputy Police Chief Ty Schmidt told WCOO.

She also reportedly sent magazine subscriptions to the family under the name of "Your Tasty Children."

Pernula must have been watching too much Hocus Pocus.

Fail of The Day: Dynamic Duo Steals Jewelry From Art Gallery, Leaves Name And Number in Guest Book
  • -
  • Vote
  • -

Stupid is not a strong enough word to describe these alleged jewelry thieves.

Police say a man and woman were arrested this weekend in Palm Springs after stealing a bracelet and ring from an art studio. And how were they caught?

They signed the guest book.

Megan Ohara, 24, and David Ziskoski, 19, were arrested for allegedly stealing the jewelry, which was valued at $6,000.

Here's how it went down, according to the Sun Sentinel:

When confronted, Ohara told police she had the items in her purse. She gave the officers the ring and bracelet, and subsequently, she and Ziskoski were arrested.

As officers arrived back to the gallery, the artist said he had noticed something in his gallery's guestbook. Someone had written multiple fake email entries into the guestbook, including "wedidnttakeit@gmail.com," according to the arrest report.

Two of the fake emails included the name "Meg" and one included Ohara's phone number next to it. Also on the page was a drawing of male genitalia and a woman's face labeled as "Meg."

Someone get these two a Darwin Award, stat!