Criminally Dumb Criminal

Can you spot the man in the photo above?

Inept car thief Jose Espinoza was running from the cops in Madera, California last weekend, when he came up with what he believed was a genius escape plan.

He spray painted himself black as a disguise. Needless to say, it didn't work, especially considering he was standing next to a white wall, as Corp. Josiah Arnold told CNN.

The Madera Police Department later posted his mugshot to Facebook, with this amazing caption: "The camouflage was ineffective."

Your move Florida Man.

Is this Marvel's newest superhero?

A man in China was arrested this past weekend for trying to smuggle in 94 iPhones from Hong Kong where they are cheaper to purchase.

Customs officials were suspicious of the way he was walking, so they had him go through the metal detectors.

That's when they discovered $49,000 worth of Apple products (both iPhone 6 and iPhone 5S models) taped to his midsection in this makeshift suit of armor.

Crotch Siri is now scarred for life.

I guess you could call this Car-ma?

A woman in Kansas City drove a stolen SUV into a building last week while being chased by police.

Not only did she crash, but she also took most of the building down with her.

She survived the incident, and the building was vacant so no one else was hurt.

Early Thursday morning, a vandal broke into All Points Electric in Brandon, Manitoba. He hasn't been caught yet, but judging by this footage from the security camera, the idiot doesn't have much hope…

There it is:



From Arbroath:

"My last name is c0caine," proudly stated the man at the podium. His name was indeed legal and inscribed on his driver's licence. "You know, I'd thought I'd seen it all," Hurley laughed, shaking his head. "How many times have the police told you to step out of the car during your life?"

(Heads up -- video is graphic.)

Or maybe this story is all kinds of right.

Detroit rapper Young Calicoe recently posted a video tour of his home on YouTube, and he made sure to show off his (alleged) backyard animal-fighting operation, including makeshift kennels that house his collection of dogs and roosters:

Anybody want a fighting dog? I hope we don't get indicted for that. That Michael Vick type sh*t.

Now the criminally dumb Calicoe is the focus of a police investigation -- as the top commenter on the video puts it: "You just made the front page of reddit. You, sir, are f**ked."

Calicoe is taking the moral highground via Twitter: "If u find a video of me "FIGHTING DOGS" PLEEEEZE LET ME KNO"

[mashable]

A Portland, Oregon woman was arrested and charged with one count of trespassing after police determined a friend was smuggling her into an apartment complex, from which she was banished in April 2011. Authorities found Kola J. McGrath, 50, hiding in a closet of a unit rented by Curtis T. Lowe. Their Trojan Horse: a pink suitcase.

Hotel workers long suspected someone had been smuggled into the complex, but had no way of proving it. However, a caller tipped police about seeing a woman placed in a pink suitcase and carried into one of the units. The suspect's description matched Lowe's, and a subsequent search of his apartment revealed the suitcase and McGrath.

Workers told police the two had been involved in a relationship, but McGrath had been banned from the complex after breaking a fire extinguisher with her purse during an argument. A subsequent warning about violating the building's visitation policy went unheeded. McGrath has since been released.

[arbroath]

A Disney Cruise employee named Nelson has become internet infamous after allegedly stealing a passenger's iPhone and using it to take several photos. Thanks to Apple's Photo Stream feature, the owner of the phone was able to grab Nelson's snaps of himself, his friends and his girlfriend and upload them to her Facebook account.

"This is Nelson," she wrote next to one photo. "Nelson stole my iPhone."

While it hasn't been proven that this man actually took the phone and then foolishly failed to delete the owner's account before using it as his own, things certainly don't look good.

"I have alerted the officials of the Disney Cruiseline and forwarded them the photos. Hopefully I'll get my phone back and maybe some free passes to Disneyland," wrote the alleged theft victim.

Disney has yet to comment on the incident.

[nymag]