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Dude's Contract To Carry On Bloodline Is a Lot

In true Henry the 8th fashion, this guy has decided he wants a son to carry on his family name. Judging by some of the criteria here, it looks like the kind of thing an entitled person who makes laughable demands would try to pull off. It's unclear if writing up a big offer full of rules and ultimatums is a good way to carry on one's genes, but hey, most of us haven't tried. Either way, This dude is making some pretty wild promises about his future kid.

guy tries to make deal for future son on facebook | 36 And Running Out Time Here On This Earth And Won't Settle Until Job Is Done And Plus Want Be An Amazing Father Again
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Dad Refuses To Accept Defeat, Amusement Park Employee Goes Full Petty

Anyone who has ever worked in an amusement park must've seen some ungodly levels of petty revenge. Everyone has their breaking point, and amusement park employees must be tested like none other. You've got your entitled guests that refuse to not be sore losers, and you've also got a ton of people making horrendous messes everywhere. Fun stuff. 

Dad refuses to accept defeat, so an amusement park employee takes their petty revenge | r/pettyrevenge u/TheGreatPinoy 2y Join work at an amusement park, guests are rude but here's my favourite story work at an amusement park and run games there ones people always assume are rigged but reality just really hard. At my amusement park however have hockey game has 4 targets and have try and hit those targets 60 seconds get prize depending on fast can hit all four. Anyways, this family walks up
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Funniest Dad Tweets Of The Week (November 3, 2020)

It's that time of the week where we bring you the funniest eye-rolling collection of dad tweets we came across over the past seven days. Twitter is the place where dads come to life, and we see dad humor at its best. Scroll through this collection, groan loudly and then check out last week's in case you missed them.



funniest dad tweets of the week | thumbnail Text - Richard Dean @dad_on_my_feet 50% of parenting a toddler is deciding if the object they're about to break is worth getting up off the couch 7:41 PM Oct 27, 2020 · Twitter Web App 163 Retweets 15 Quote Tweets 969 Likes >
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Funniest Dad Tweets Of The Week (October 6, 2020)

Parenting is a Herculean task and not one for the weak-willed. It's essentially moment after moment of congratulating yourself for keeping your tiny humans alive and trying not to lose your sanity in the process. Dads especially get a lot of stick for their roles because they're not naturally as maternal, but when they take to Twitter to celebrate, moan about and seek advice for becoming better parents, we can only celebrate them. So here is the latest in funny dad tweets, and here are last week's for when you're done, in case you missed them.



funniest dad tweets of the week - Text - Simon Holland @simoncholland Why would I pay for a haunted house when I can wake up to my kid silently standing by my bed at 5 AM.
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County Mower Shreds Dad's Shrubs, Dad Revenges With Rebar

This tale of pro revenge involving an inconsiderate county mower and a dad who wasn't going to put up with anyone's nonsense reminds us of another revenge involving a steel-enforced mailbox and a snowplow. The grin on dad's face must've spanned from cheek to cheek. Sounds like the county mower was ultimately unsuccessful with trying to get dad to cough up cash for those broken blades too. Talk about the icing on the cake. 

County mower messes with dad's shrubs, so dad ends up taking revenge with rebar | r/ProRevenge u/SwizzleMalarki 1y Join County mower trimmed down our shrubs no reason. Go ahead and try again First time posting reading post on here about neighbor running over poles their yard and reminded this story. Also writing this my phone, so bear with Tl;dr at bottom 7 or 8 my dad planted row shrubs along front property. They started out as scrawny sticks, but fast-forward few years and they were big
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Dad Misplaces Daughter's Hamster, Breakdown Ensues

Poor dad lost his daughter's hamster for a hot second, and a complete and understandable breakdown ensued. Fortunately, everything works out in the end. You can really feel the love in dad's panicked texts. 

Dad misplaces his daughter's hamster, and then a heartfelt breakdown ensues | Padre Please call soon as get this 's an emergency dad do not freak out 's just hamster will find him Delivered
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Religious Dad Asks for Forgiveness After Punching Virtual Stripper

Growing up when Grand Theft Auto was new was one hell of a time. Many of us had to hide the game from our parents, but it was still inevitable that they'd catch you doing some unsavory stuff. We always wondered how people with very strict or very religious parents dealt with it. They made for some interesting scenes, like how this person's religious dad out-religioned some evangelists at the door.

Dad asks God for forgiveness after making mistake in grand theft auto | r/tifu Posted by u/TheBlackBradPitt 3 hours ago TIFU by making my Dad punch stripper GTA and tearfully ask God forgiveness front my entire family. M encouraged post this here comment made elsewhere, even though didn't happen today, or even this decade, so mods please remove if goes against rules s very funny story though young, my brothers and snuck copy San Andreas into house spent days holed up our basement taking turns
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20 Cringe-Worthy Dad Jokes Of Epic Proportions

There's a little dad in all of us. Laughing at terrible, terrible jokes. Secretly wanting to wear socks and sandals. Looking at lawn mowers with dreamy eyes. And most of all, wanting to make bad jokes at every opportunity. Well today is your lucky day, because we've got a list of really bad jokes to be memorized and repeated at inappropriate times. Plus these Bad Jokes that are undoubtedly father-like. Go ahead and make your dad proud. 

Funny bad jokes dad jokes and puns. | Sculpture - does NASA organize party? They planet S121E06583
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Artist Adds Brilliant Illustrations To The Funniest Things Kids Told Their Parents

Ever wondered what would have happened if kids will write screenplays? Brutally honest, funny, sometimes naive screenplays? Well, a new Facebook page called Kids R the best screenwriters takes real quotes from real kids, present them as scenes from a play and adds brilliant illustrations to add some extra fun. 

Here are some of the best quotes we found there, you are more than welcome to send them you kid (or grandson) quote and be featured there.


funniest quotes from kids | Yoav (3 Mom used be thin. Mom: And am now Yoav: Happy! Kids R best screenwriters SEND US KIDS' QUOTES! | DAD Mom and Roni (3.5) are playing 'House Roni be Dad, but don't shout at BY EKids R best screenwriters KIDS! REAL QUOTES
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15 Awkward Moments from Old People Facebook

Some of them are just trying to get a hang of social media. Others are confident enough to give you a piece of their mind.

old people on social media
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Guy Gets Caught In Crosshairs of His Parents Sexting Each Other In Profoundly Awkward Group Chat

Ugh seriously not cool MAAAM and DAAAD. These two parents had to go and set the tone of an otherwise nice check-up convo between loving family members, to instead a paralyzing level of awkwardness. But hey, I'll be the first to suggest that group chats inherently suck -- no matter who is involved. This is the rock-bottom of terrible group chats though, that much is for sure. Though, I might take the quick and deadly stab of cringe in this conversation, over the 98 notifications that last Friday's group chat bitchslapped my deeply irritated phone with. 

kid accidentally gets his parents sexy texts
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Creative Dad Turns Children's Animal Drawings Into Reality And It's Hilarious

Things I Have Drawn is an Instagram account where father-of-two and book author Tom Curtis shares kid's drawings from all over the world. But that's not all – he decided that it would be more fun to bring those cute, childish doodles into the real life. The result is both funny and terrifying at the same time.

dad turns kid's drawings into real life animals
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Guy Shares Hilarious Stories About His Dad, Who's Basically Ron Swanson

Twitter user @Kane's stories about his dad in honor of Father's Day bear a striking resemblance to the legend, Ron Swanson. Sounds like one very cool dad!

anecdotes from dad ron swanson
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