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Ten Hilarious Greentext Stories To Make You Laugh

If you're unfamiliar with greentext stories, gather round children. These babies have been around since 2010, originating on 4chan then spreading to the corners of the internet because they're so great. Get ready to laugh because these ones are top notch. 

ten awesome greentext stories that will make you laugh
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Fifteen Lit GIFs That Nailed It

The weekend is nearly upon us, and we know what that means: procrastination at work. To aid you in this important task, we've compiled a nice long list of fifteen GIFs that'll get you giggling (and make your co-workers look at you weirdly). But it's almost the weekend, so you don't care! Get your GIF on. 

fifteen of the best gifs
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Pacey is the pet metronome dog of a drum school instructor, and it looks like sitting in on lessons has paid off.

Sorry, Animal, but you've just been made redundant.

[tastefullyoff]

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Canteloupe the two-year-old Italian Greyhound loves to steal things from her owner's desk, so a friend decided to set up a camera and catch her red-pawed.

CamelsAndFriends, the YouTuber behind the doggie surveillance operation, writes:

It got me wondering how exactly she gets up there and how she chooses what she steals, so I decided to start filming! I left the camera on a tripod pointed at the desk and a week later these are my results of Cantaloupe's exploits.

The evidence is clear, ladies and gentlemen. You must find this dog guilty of being cute.

[biotv]

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A parrot and a dog settle a dispute over who gets to eat the last of the yogurt.

[dpaf.]

doggeh Photo stair of the dog stairlift - 6041227776
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Today in inventions that are simultaneously adorable and tragic: UK insurance company More Th>n has prototyped an automated stairlift to carry obese dogs up tough flights of stairs.

The world's first doglift, called "Stair of the Dog 2022," was conceived in response to a doggie obesity epidemic that the company says could see 52% of the UK's dogs dangerously overweight by 2022. The device, which a pooch can activate with a paw-press, is expected to cost $8,000.

"This is a vision of the future we really don't want to see become a reality," says More Th>n's John Ellenger, who suggests dog owners show their canine friends some love without giving them "inappropriate and fat-laden foods."

[dvice.]

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Fern the Great Dane isn't quite ready to wake up from her afternoon nap.

[vvv.]

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Hope for Paws (previously) rescues a blind, abandoned dog found living in squalor, cleans her up, partially restores her eyesight, and finds her a new home.

Caution: Not safe for mascara.

[thanks alec!]

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In the end, aren't we all just bulldogs chasing in vain after an uncatchable ball?

[tastefullyoff.]

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Cody recites a passage from his favorite Allen Ginsberg poem.

[reddit.]

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Tobago the pug slinks away after getting called out for eating a sausage off the table.

[dpaf.]

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Chuck the boxer jumps for joy at the sight of his best friend returning home from his deployment.

See Also: Same scene, one year ago.

[reddit.]

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Today is apparently National Puppy Day, and what better way to celebrate than with a feel-good puppy story?

Beyonce the teeny tiny two-week-old puppy was named after the pop singer because, just like her namesake, she too is a survivor.

Born not breathing, Beyonce had to be resuscitated through CPR. Cheating death is apparently a trait Beyonce inherited from her mom, a stray who was almost euthanized.

As if that weren't enough amazing to last the rest of National Puppy Day, the litter Beyonce was born into was almost aborted.

After all that I think I'm going to need a few dozen more National Puppy Days to calm my nerves. Any objections? Didn't think so.

[gawker.]

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Jayden the Shiloh Shepherd has an eminently human way of dealing with a spat.

[dpaf.]

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Indiana and her reflection are no longer on speaking terms.

[hyst.]