Don't do drugs. Just laugh at all the crazy things that can happen and the punny and trippy jokes they lead to. From a distance is best.
Listen up, drug dealers, if you sell your garbage on these streets, consider yourself on the naughty list.
That’s right, Santa Claus is coming to town, and this time, it’s personal.
This year, Santa’s got a whole new bag because anti-drug units in Peru are dressing like Father Christmas, perhaps so they can gain entry into any house without a warrant via the chimney. However, Ol’ Saint Nick wasn’t so jolly after a brief stop in Peru, where he raided a suspected drug house, apprehending four individuals who wish they were getting coal this Christmas.
So next time you’re thinking about breaking the law, remember, he’s always watching.
Fancy some eggs, or wanna slay like Bey for a tenner? Then check out Facebook's new Marketplace, which quickly went from innocently selling baby photoshoots, to a used car (with no brakes), to selling drugs to your Mom.
A quick look locally and we found a real gem:
Other people have found live hedgehogs and snakes...
Glad FB Marketplace is taking up prime real estate in the app with deals like this!!! pic.twitter.com/a8ugvXJHuU— Jillian D'Onfro (@jillianiles) October 3, 2016
There's also a snowsuit for your baby, I mean cat, no, I mean baby cat:
...or a passage through time:
Or some lamb:
A yurt for your bird...
...and a creepy AF clown toy:
This is already my favorite place to shop and it's only been open two days.
Snoop Dogg, the world's most chill weed advocate, is taking on the NFL's desire to have access to guns in a new Instagram video.
Snoop takes issue with the NFL wanting to give football players access to guns but not access to weed. He successfully argues that football is already a violent profession which lends itself to perpetuating a violent environment amongst the players, and that weed would be a panacea to this problem of violence and allow the players some respite from their aggressive environment.
He even reached out the NFL to offer his services as an advocate to make this change happen:
Do it, Snoop.
Utah, America's northern-most Florida, has done it again.
A Subway employee in Layton decided to punk a cop by putting a cocktail of marijuana, THC and methamphetamine in his drink, as the world's dumbest free-gift-with-purchase idea.
A video shows the clerk leaning over the Officer's drink a little too long, and the unnamed Sergeant had his colleagues test his drink after he tried to drive back to the station and started to feel all wonky.
The Subway presumptive-former-employee is busy thinking about what he did in a jail cell right now.
Apparently, Whoopi Goldberg has long been a proponent of medical marijuana. As a lifelong woman, she's also presumably experienced a few periods in her day. Now, she's decided to start a business to combine the two with Maya Elisabeth, who is well known for her all female run edible cannabis company Om Edibles. These cannabis products are specifically aimed at helping women deal with cramps.
This assortment includes things you can eat (like chocolate) and stuff to put in the bath or on your skin. Their slogan is "Menstrual relief from names you can trust."
Is Whoopi Goldberg a "name you can trust"? Why not, she always seems to know what she's doing...
Chris Barnicle finished dead last out of 105 people hoping to qualify for the U.S. Men's Olympic Marathon team. His finishing time was 3:45:34, that's pretty fast for a casual runner but, according to FloTrack, it was also the slowest time for an Olympic qualifying marathon since 2000.
He used to be a professional runner but since slowing down after an injury, he has gotten into the edible marijuana business. Barnicle even calls himself the "World's Fastest Stoner". That name actually might be true, he did win a pot-themed marathon in San Francisco just last year.
He ended up having a hard time during the race, cramping up and falling down around mile 22.
Drug smugglers have been caught trying to cross into the U.S. with fake carrots packed with marijuana. This isn't an isolated incident, smugglers have been trying to get more creative with their methods. Another popular veggie to impersonate and fill with drugs? Cucumbers.
Maybe they should try a different method. It seems like it should be pretty easy for a customs agent to spot an oversized carrot made of duct tape.
The suspect handed the Blake Medical Center employee a bag of food he said was for a patient. The employee then checked the food inside the bag, and discovered a syringe hidden inside the burrito.
In light of recent news, what's actually unhealthier though? This drug dealer's heroin-infused culinary twist on the traditional burrito? Or whatever slid out Chipotle's kitchen last summer amidst the Norovirus outbreak scandal?
What are the odds Jesse Pinkman had the car running? Walter White is not pleased with all this heat.