Dude had to get talked out of getting a nipple piercing at one point. And my personal favorite part of this whole catastrophe..."People are saying that I'm lit," Lemon said. "Yeah, I'm lit. Who cares?"
drunk
Via I Want My Pizza
Aside from just staying home and not drinking.
With New Year’s Eve on the horizon, it’s good to know your rights. After all, no one wants to spend their first morning of 2017 inside of a jail cell.
The team over at Vice have you covered. They posted an interview Diana Aizman, a Los Angeles-based criminal defense attorney, specializing in DUI and drug laws, where she talks about what’ll get you sent up the river on New Year’s Eve. Here’s her response:
[Cops are] looking for a few things. One is if you're just unable to take care of yourself, if you're obviously stumbling or having trouble maintaining control of your faculties. I've had clients who have been arrested for just sitting on the curb and looking like they're about to pass out or have passed out. That's something that they will probably arrest you for. And then the other thing is if you're just belligerent, loud, obnoxious, in people's faces, in the police officer's face. Basically, if you're posing a danger to yourself or to anyone around you and you're unable to care of yourself in a reasonable fashion, a police officer has the discretion to arrest you for being drunk in public…
If he or she genuinely believes that you are under the influence and unable to reasonably take care of yourself, or if you're engaging in anything that is destructive, then they can arrest you.
Most importantly, if you are arrested stopped, don’t try and talk your way out of it:
Keep your mouth shut and your head down. The worst thing you can do is try to talk yourself out of any situation with law enforcement because the only thing you're going to do is make it worse. If you're being suspected of being drunk in public, say absolutely nothing. Everything you say is going to be used against you, that's not just something you hear on TV. That's true.
Basically, what they're going to do is they're going to say that your speech is slow and slurred, that you reek of an alcoholic beverage, that you're unable to form sentences, that you were incoherent. The less you say, the better off you are. Easier for your defense attorney later on.
Read the full interview here.
Via @iliketweet
While most people in their 20s want credit for acting even remotely like adults, one woman has gone above and beyond what’s asked of someone being a grown up.
After ordering a new refrigerator, Clare decided to risk life and water filter by turning her fridge into a wine dispenser. All it took was a bottle of wine and the cold water filter in her fridge. Simply tilt the bottle into the water dispenser and out comes wine. Life hacks made easy.
My adult life just peaked pic.twitter.com/jU70YQL7VE
— Clare (@iliketweet) December 11, 2016
It takes a proud adult to risk ruining a brand-new fridge with a move like this, so we commend you, Clare. However, perhaps sensing the immense power at their finger tips, Clare and her boyfriend switched the filter back to water. They told Buzzfeed that their fridge and filter is fine, but what about the copycats? What of the poor filters that will be inevitably be ruined due to the sugary content of wine. Those tubes are going to be sticky for generations.
Wine loving cat ladies everywhere just had their wildest dreams come true! Apollo Peak has come up with a delicious wine recipe for cats. It's made with catnip, water, and beet juice for color. You can choose from Pinot Meow or MosCATo, because obviously cats should be able to decide if they're a red or white wine feline. Yes, your cat can now drink wine. What a time to be alive!
Via Juan Cinco
NSFW Warning: She starts throwing around some salty language when she starts getting really belligerent.
This woman tried to hop in an Uber and steal the ride from the unrelated group of people who originally called the car. At least she knew it was time to go home, unfortunately she took out her anger on the driver and his car when he told her he would not be the one to take her.
The description of the video tells the story up to the start of the video:
We were on the phone with this uber driver while he pulled up to our location. Out of nowhere the girl in the video gets in the backseat of his car and won't get out. We told the driver it was ok, to just cancel our ride, but he did not want to take her anywhere so he kept telling her to get out.
Eventually the driver gets out and says he's calling the cops to get her out of the car. After a couple of minutes of the driver pretending to talk to the cops (im assuming he was pretending because they never showed up at first), the girl decides to reach into the front seat, grab his keys, and start walking away with his keys in her hands.... That's where the video starts...
According to the video description, she managed to walk away without being arrested. Her name has been released as Dr. Anjali Ramkissoon and according to University of Miami Medicine, she has been placed on leave pending an investigation.
If potential career obliteration isn't enough retribution for you, don't worry. The internet hate machine was primed and ready to pick up on this incident. 
via @iamcorlissking
via @MorganAnnetteP
via @DanishSait
In the video she can be heard saying, "Oh no! I have lost my mind", while throwing things out the window of the car. Although she was saying it sarcastically, truer words have never been spoken.
Via News Funnies
It looks like Lemon had a bit too much of the bubbly on NYE. There are two sides forming as this budding controversy takes on a life of it's own.
Was Kathy Griffin's behavior inappropriate from the get-go, and was Lemmon's comment almost a poor guy with vaguely impaired judgment taking the bait?
Or was Lemon someone who clearly had been served enough, and was in no place to be interviewing/broadcasting publicly?
Maybe a bit of both.There's always cause to throw up a big 'so what?' What do you think?
Via NBC4
A California man ended his night with sore eyes and in handcuffs after his Uber driver fought back against an alleged assault.
Uber driver Edward Caban was able to grab his pepper spray and defend himself against 32-year-old Benjamin Golden, the passenger Caban said was too drunk and belligerent to give proper directions.
He captured the entire encounter on his dashboard camera.
"He was grabbing my head and was trying to smash it against the window," Caban told NBC4.
"I wanted to make sure he didn't get away," Caban said. "I have lost so much money on people like him and I'm done dealing with it. They take the food right out of my mouth."
Golden was arrested on public intoxication and assault charges, Costa Mesa police said.
Caban ended his YouTube description with this very true statement: "Uber drivers don't get paid enough to deal with this sh*t."
