drunk

Aside from just staying home and not drinking.

With New Year’s Eve on the horizon, it’s good to know your rights. After all, no one wants to spend their first morning of 2017 inside of a jail cell.

The team over at Vice have you covered. They posted an interview Diana Aizman, a Los Angeles-based criminal defense attorney, specializing in DUI and drug laws, where she talks about what’ll get you sent up the river on New Year’s Eve. Here’s her response:

[Cops are] looking for a few things. One is if you're just unable to take care of yourself, if you're obviously stumbling or having trouble maintaining control of your faculties. I've had clients who have been arrested for just sitting on the curb and looking like they're about to pass out or have passed out. That's something that they will probably arrest you for. And then the other thing is if you're just belligerent, loud, obnoxious, in people's faces, in the police officer's face. Basically, if you're posing a danger to yourself or to anyone around you and you're unable to care of yourself in a reasonable fashion, a police officer has the discretion to arrest you for being drunk in public…

If he or she genuinely believes that you are under the influence and unable to reasonably take care of yourself, or if you're engaging in anything that is destructive, then they can arrest you.

via The Roost

Most importantly, if you are arrested stopped, don’t try and talk your way out of it:

Keep your mouth shut and your head down. The worst thing you can do is try to talk yourself out of any situation with law enforcement because the only thing you're going to do is make it worse. If you're being suspected of being drunk in public, say absolutely nothing. Everything you say is going to be used against you, that's not just something you hear on TV. That's true.

Basically, what they're going to do is they're going to say that your speech is slow and slurred, that you reek of an alcoholic beverage, that you're unable to form sentences, that you were incoherent. The less you say, the better off you are. Easier for your defense attorney later on.

Read the full interview here.

While most people in their 20s want credit for acting even remotely like adults, one woman has gone above and beyond what’s asked of someone being a grown up.

After ordering a new refrigerator, Clare decided to risk life and water filter by turning her fridge into a wine dispenser. All it took was a bottle of wine and the cold water filter in her fridge. Simply tilt the bottle into the water dispenser and out comes wine. Life hacks made easy.

My adult life just peaked pic.twitter.com/jU70YQL7VE

— Clare (@iliketweet) December 11, 2016

It takes a proud adult to risk ruining a brand-new fridge with a move like this, so we commend you, Clare. However, perhaps sensing the immense power at their finger tips, Clare and her boyfriend switched the filter back to water. They told Buzzfeed that their fridge and filter is fine, but what about the copycats? What of the poor filters that will be inevitably be ruined due to the sugary content of wine. Those tubes are going to be sticky for generations.

via Broadway World

NSFW Warning: She starts throwing around some salty language when she starts getting really belligerent. 

This woman tried to hop in an Uber and steal the ride from the unrelated group of people who originally called the car. At least she knew it was time to go home, unfortunately she took out her anger on the driver and his car when he told her he would not be the one to take her. 

The description of the video tells the story up to the start of the video: 

We were on the phone with this uber driver while he pulled up to our location. Out of nowhere the girl in the video gets in the backseat of his car and won't get out. We told the driver it was ok, to just cancel our ride, but he did not want to take her anywhere so he kept telling her to get out.

Eventually the driver gets out and says he's calling the cops to get her out of the car. After a couple of minutes of the driver pretending to talk to the cops (im assuming he was pretending because they never showed up at first), the girl decides to reach into the front seat, grab his keys, and start walking away with his keys in her hands.... That's where the video starts...

According to the video description, she managed to walk away without being arrested. Her name has been released as Dr. Anjali Ramkissoon and according to University of Miami Medicine, she has been placed on leave pending an investigation. 

If potential career obliteration isn't enough retribution for you, don't worry. The internet hate machine was primed and ready to pick up on this incident. 


via @iamcorlissking


via @MorganAnnetteP


via @DanishSait

In the video she can be heard saying, "Oh no! I have lost my mind", while throwing things out the window of the car. Although she was saying it sarcastically, truer words have never been spoken. 

Go home grandma you're drunk.

It looks like Lemon had a bit too much of the bubbly on NYE. There are two sides forming as this budding controversy takes on a life of it's own.

Was Kathy Griffin's behavior inappropriate from the get-go, and was Lemmon's comment almost a poor guy with vaguely impaired judgment taking the bait?

Or was Lemon someone who clearly had been served enough, and was in no place to be interviewing/broadcasting publicly?

Maybe a bit of both.There's always cause to throw up a big 'so what?' What do you think?

A California man ended his night with sore eyes and in handcuffs after his Uber driver fought back against an alleged assault.

Uber driver Edward Caban was able to grab his pepper spray and defend himself against 32-year-old Benjamin Golden, the passenger Caban said was too drunk and belligerent to give proper directions.

He captured the entire encounter on his dashboard camera.

"He was grabbing my head and was trying to smash it against the window," Caban told NBC4.

"I wanted to make sure he didn't get away," Caban said. "I have lost so much money on people like him and I'm done dealing with it. They take the food right out of my mouth."

Golden was arrested on public intoxication and assault charges, Costa Mesa police said.

Caban ended his YouTube description with this very true statement: "Uber drivers don't get paid enough to deal with this sh*t."

Luke Gatti doesn't want your mac 'n' cheese donations—send those to your local food bank, the infamous "drunk UConn kid" said in his apology video.

Remember the entitled teen who was caught on video berating a cafeteria worker over bacon-jalapeño mac 'n' cheese? Well, that's Gatti. And he's super sorry now.

After the incident went viral, the student was dismissed from his university. This seems to be a wake-up call.

"I am ashamed. I really am ashamed of myself," he says in the video.

Gatti apologizes to the cafeteria staff, calls himself an a**hole and promises to seek help for his problems.

Wait...a local diner named a calzone after this kid? Nah, he won't learn a thing.

Florida Man took the night off from causing mayhem, and Florida Woman took his place.

Whitney Beall, a 23-year-old woman, was arrested this weekend for drunk driving after using the mobile app Periscope to live-stream her entire ride.

"I'm super drunk, I don't even know how to explain it," she says to start the 11-minute broadcast below. The entire broadcast lasted over 40 minutes.

With tips from viewers and one officer using their own Periscope account to spot landmarks, police were able to safely stop Beall.

"Officers advised that they smelled the odor of an alcoholic beverage emanating from Beall, her speech was slow; her eyes were bloodshot and glossy," a Lakeland PD Facebook post said.

It seems Florida Woman got the attention she wanted. And luckily no one was hurt.

It's ok, veggies. If you're drunk, it doesn't count.

A new study by money-saving website Voucher Code Pro found that a full third of self-described vegetarians cheat after they've been drinking.

According to The Telegraph:

One in three have also said they eat meat every time they were drunk on a night out with kebab meat and beef burgers being the most common.

Around 39 per cent said they ate kebab meat when they were under the influence, while 34 per cent said they opted for beef burgers.

Twenty-seven per cent of 'vegetarians' said they ate bacon, with 19 per cent devouring fried chicken and 14 per cent eating pork sausages.

But 69 per cent of vegetarians said they did not tell anyone after they had eaten meat.

The study questioned 1,789 people in the United Kingdom who considered themselves vegetarian.

What no one seems to be asking is why a coupon website decided to branch out into conducting diet research. Did they have a secret vendetta to uncover their suspicions about them cheating vegetarians?

Regardless, now you have some semi-scientific ammo if the vegetarians in your life get preachy.

This kid deserves all the bad things life can give him.

He also needs to learn how to handle his liquor and/or his lack of macaroni and cheese.

Luke Gatti, AKA All That's Wrong with the World, was refused service for being a drunken, 19-year-old a**hat Oct. 5. But he didn't walk away there. Terrible people like him never do.

He proceeds to get very, very into the face of the cafeteria manager, the cook and anyone of authority as he consistently yells and whinges about how much he wants mac and cheese and how low are those who refuse to give it to him.

Things get bad before the chef steps in and wrestles the little bastard to the ground.

It's an emotional journey.

Here's the surprise twist that's not a surprise at all:

This is far from his first run-in with the law, Only in Amherst:

Arrested two weeks ago on Phillips Street for disorderly conduct (which included calling a detective the N-word), this time around Mr. Gatti seemed to go out of his way to get arrested yet again on that same notorious street, and when taken back to the police station, assaulted an officer.

With his father looking on, Luke Gatti was arraigned this morning before Judge John Payne who set bail at $250, taken out of the $1,000 bail posted over the weekend to get out of jail.

Noting the arrest only two weeks ago Judge Payne said to Gatti, "I'm a little concerned you're going to pull a trifecta before the month is over."

Welp, maybe this time they'll actually put him in jail for a while.

Here's hoping!

Look, maybe Jessica Simpson was just having a grand old time selling clothing to home-bound fashion hounds. So much so that she slurred her way through promoting jeans like a blacked out 20-year-old demanding that they're find to drive.

There are many aspersions and judgements that we can pass around about the notably strange display above, but we're not going to go there.

We'll let the Internet do it for us.

Jessica Simpson is drunk on HSN right now! Is anyone else seeing this? #JessicaOnHSN

— Biega (@TheGoGoGhoul) September 18, 2015

She is beyond wasted right now, right? Right!!??!! #jessicaonhsn

— The Nev (@NevSays) September 18, 2015

Want an adventure: #JessicaonHSN - I'm going to say Jessica Simpson is D-RUNK. And now, wasn't watching until I was alerted to it. WOW.

— Sabina Hitchen (@SabinaKnows) September 18, 2015

She keeps saying "autumnal" and stares to see if she used it correctly. #JessicaOnHSN

— Kevin (@KevyCoCo) September 18, 2015

Thanks for playing the bad cop for us, Internet. We'll just sit here remaining impassive and nonjudgemental.

We'll also link the TMZ story where HSN and Simpson's people swear that she was, in fact, not drunk.

Because they'd totally cop to it if she was.