dude parts

Here goes Japan again, being weird and stuff.

A new butcher shop in Tokyo translated to "Macho Meat Shop" is serving up slices of flesh from some serious meatheads.

The entire staff are meaty, muscular dudes. And they serve meat. Get it?

The restaurant serves raw egg drinks, steaks and customers can feed the buff eye candy.

But you better hurry if you want to visit this meaty wonderland.

The shop is only open for a limited time until November 9.

Early Thanksgiving, anyone? No turkey on the menu. Just beef.

For some, the daily routine of a shower is an invigorating start to the day. For one Bostonian, it's only a way to lose the valuable bacteria that live on our body.

Which is why this guy has not showered in a very, very long time.

According to Boing Boing:

Dave Witlock is a practical man. "I have not taken a shower in over 12 years," says the chemical engineer and Massachusetts Institute of Technology graduate. "No one did clinical trials on people taking showers every day. So what's the basis for assuming that that is a healthy practice?"

Twice a day, Mr. Witlock applies a live bacteria solution of his own design to his skin. To spread the bacteria to everyone else, he has founded a company called AOBiome and is selling a spray that contains live ammonia oxidizing bacteria (AOB), called Mother Dirt.

The whole thing sounds like a marketing spot to get people to buy and spray bacteria water all over themselves. Seems like you could just go to a public pool and work on your fitness at the same time.

As for Mr. Witlock, we are only left with many questions. Does he have friends? A significant other? Does he smell terrible? Does the cloud of dust surrounding him at all times make it difficult to mingle at parties?

You do you, Witlock.

Amy Schumer’s joke is becoming a reality… sort of.

A new bar/restaurant called Tallywackers is coming to Dallas this May that will feature scantily clad men showing off their pecs, abs and bulges while you dine on your breasts (of chicken).

In case you were wondering, “tallywacker” is another word for penis, or as Urban Dictionary defines it “my gargantious third member.”

And if you think you have one and live in Texas, they’re hiring.

“Our main goal with Tallywackers is to create a fun and entertaining environment for anyone to enjoy,” the restaurant’s head of marketing Winston T. Lackey told Central Track. “That said, we understand that there will be some people who are uncomfortable here, just as there are women who are uncomfortable at Hooters.”

Lackey is apparently very good at his job too, with Tallywackers getting lots of national attention this week on numerous media sites. As of Friday it was also trending on Facebook.

While the restaurant is primarily targeting the gay community, they say, everyone is welcome.

And yes, they will serve hot dogs.

It’ only been a few days since a pilot drew a penis in the sky in Florida, and another phallic phenomenon has already taken over the Internet.

The above screenshot of Network Ten anchor Natarsha Belling was posted to UNILAD’s Facebook page this past weekend, and it has since blown up and been shared on a number of different news sites around the world.

It was also trending on Facebook.

“Once you see it, you cannot unsee it…” UNILAD writes in the caption.

Unfortunate for her, but true. You will never not see a penis on Belling’s neckline.

No response yet from her on Twitter.

So far 2015 has been a good year for viral outfits. Which will you be wearing this Halloween? The white and gold dress, blue and black dress or penis jacket?

Play-Doh has since began to delete pictures of the suspiciously dong-like toy from its public Facebook page, which is of course only making the problem that much worse. So, merry Christmas to all and to all a good wang... er... "Icing Maker."

The tweet in question (which did not feature our lovely hotdog Photoshopping skills) has since been taken down and TWC Austin has issued an apology. It's unclear if this was the result of a hacked or hijacked account, a vengeful employee, or what. Either way, TWC News Austin's 33,000 Twitter followers got an extra helping of meat this week.

Copywriter/funnyperson Claire Wyckoff's single topic Tumblr is dedicated to running routes that look... strangely familiar for some reason. Not sure what it is, but the general shape of them just reminds me of something. Can't put my finger on it though. Oh well!

According to Lan Tien, "It was hot so I was painting the wall in the nude, and I slipped on the floor causing my private parts to fall inside the pipe that was protruding from the wall to take water outside from the air conditioning unit. Unfortunately, I got stuck as a result." One might use this as a teaching moment to talk about the safety of one's tally-whacker in the open air, but all we're left wondering is just HOW your jingle-jank can "fall" into an open pipe.

These are the mysteries of life, people.

Sadly, the guitar has since been pulled from Craigslist. Some highlights from the item's description:

Get a load of this! For sell – Rare vintage custom Wangcaster with hard case. Nice playing smooth neck with fast action. Great for slide. Ready for some hot licks. All solid wood! New Elixirs this morning. New output jack and bone nut by a professional luther. Extra strings and pick included. Perfect for Mother's Day. Need gone today. No trades – cash only – today only. Thanks for looking.

In this latest edition of "accidental penis jokes," an ABC12 news reporter unknowingly draws a penis on the touchscreen display while discussing traffic detours around a construction site in Michigan, Detroit.