If you didn't pay much attention during history or hate reading dumb books, these memes might help you seem smarter. They won't help you write an award-winning essay, but they might help you in random conversation or when you're trying to impress someone who is only moderately intelligent. So who said memes have no educational value?
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The internet really seems to love roasting wanted criminals for their physical attributes (remember Neck Guy?) and this kid is of no exception. The 18-year-old cross-eyed burglar got roasted pretty hard when the Northamptonshire Police department in the UK posted his wanted notice on Facebook.
We almost feel kind of bad for this poor kid, as he can't exactly help that he's cross-eyed, but at the same time, these puns are just too much. They'll definitely make you say, "iris I thought of that one."
Via Rebloggy
Quidditch, the indecipherable sport from Harry Potter, is set to catch the golden snitch in the United Kingdom.
Nearly 20 years after the sport debuted in J.K. Rowling’s Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone (Sorcerer’s Stone in the states — I DON’T WANT TO GET ANY EMAILS ABOUT THAT), Quidditch, the sport in which I have no idea how it’s played, now has an organized, competitive league in the UK. The Quidditch Premier League takes its cues from the U.S.’s Major League Quidditch, meaning it will host high-level competitions and, presumably, offer a rule book explaining why anyone would bother doing anything in this game other than try to catch the golden snitch.
The QPL has laid out their mission statement online, writing:
“The Quidditch Premier League will bring a new level of competitive play to the summer months in the United Kingdom. Exact dates are yet to be confirmed, but our tentative schedule for the inaugural season begin in early July 2017 and end in late August 2017.
Inspired by the success of Major League Quidditch in the United States, we will have regional divisions with teams competing against each other in a regular schedule. Each fixture will comprise of three matches, where each team plays the other three teams in the division. The QPL season will conclude with a scintillating championship weekend, bringing the teams from each division together to crown a champion.
Though a UK league has been demanded for years, nobody has truly attempted to bring a project of this scale to British quidditch players across the country. That is, until now.”
Why they don’t include in this explanation is why everyone on the team doesn’t just try and catch the golden snitch. Like, it just seems like that part of the game was included to give Harry an easy way to save the day."
As mentioned, the QPL will be broken down into two divisions: North and South.
South Division:
- The London Monarchs – after the residing Royal Family in the capital
- The Southwest Broadside – after the seafaring and piratical history in the area
- The Southeast Knights – after the legacy of the Battle of Hastings
- The Eastern Mermaids – after the many ‘drowned cities’ off the eastern coast
North Division:
- The Northern Watch – after the iconic Hadrian’s Wall
- The Yorkshire Roses – after the region’s famous symbol
- The East Midlands Archers – after the legend of Robin Hood
- The West Midlands Revolution – after the heritage of the Industrial Revolution
They even added this handy infographic, which helps explain why anyone would waste their time doing anything other than catching the snitch, getting the most points, and ending the game, but hey, I guess it’s better not to ask such questions.
But why doesn’t the whole team just go after that thing? It seems easier than trying bat a ball into a hoop.
Via Business Insider
Brits who want to relocate to Iceland are being offered free flights on WOW Air as a welcome to their new host country.
We have a few suggestions for who they might want to expatriate:
Book their trip here.
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Via Metro
Red-heads in England will get their chance to hang with their brethren when the Twycross Zoo allows gingers in for free on World Orangutan Day, August 19th.
No word yet on whether noted hot gingers Prince Harry or Benedict Cumberbatch will attend.
Via Mashable
Waddle this way.
Ducks in different parts of England received specially designated 'duck lanes' for their webbed feet.
As Mashable reports:
As part of their #ShareTheSpace campaign, Britain's Canal & River Trust have introduced "duck lanes" that run alongside the water's edge, marking out a clear waddling space for everyone's favourite feathered friends.
Obviously, the ducks don't know enough to follow their specified lanes. The lane is more of a reminder to pedestrians and cyclists to be mindful of their feathered friends.
RT @BBCWalesNews: Ducking and diving - duck lanes painted on Brecon's canal tow paths to help preserve the peace pic.twitter.com/GnVZ033Zj5
— Canal & River Trust (@CanalRiverTrust) October 9, 2015
Here's a video that explains more:
Via Daily Mail UK
Police in the UK were fooled by one very realistic looking doll.
What started out as a rescue mission to save a baby left laying in the front seat of a locked car ended in embarrassment for police in Dudley, West Midlands.
After a concerned citizen notified the police of an infant in danger, officers jumped into action—smashing Delesia Rattray's car window. But they didn't find what they expected.
When Rattray returned to her car she found a note from police telling her to call the station. Fearing that a baby's life was in danger, the police smashed her window to save what turned out to be Rattray's 10-year-old sister's baby doll.
The doll was wrapped in a blanket with only its head poking out. Police have since apologized and agreed to cover the cost of replacing the window.
You tried, Dudley police. You tried.
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Via Daily Mail
Tomorrow's Oct. 1 and the spooky is starting.
The Daily Mail has found photos of street signs that make a shadow that appears to look like a man being hanged.
What makes it super weird is that gallows once stood on that very spot in the Middle Ages, or at least that's what some people claim.
The illusion is seen at a spot called Dead Man's Cross in Dartmouth, Devon, where criminals were hanged in the 13th Century.
Pictures of the shadow at a crossroads between Milton Lane and Waterpool Road have gone viral after being shared on social media.
...Paula Johnston said: 'Definitely not Photoshop. Many locals, including myself, have been to the spot and looked for ourselves. 'It appears on a house opposite the crossroads known as Dead Man's Cross.'
A spokesman for Dartmouth Museum said hangings were common at Dead Man's Cross in the 1400s.
Sooooo creepy.
Via The Guardian
A prisoner in a maximum security Manchester prison climbed up to the roof sometime on Sunday demanding better prison conditions and heckling prison guards.
Horner is now sitting on top of #strangeways roof and is shouting to prisoners in cells pic.twitter.com/CvN9z6Q14I
— Katie Butler (@KatieButlerMEN) September 14, 2015Convicted murderer Stuart Horner has been on the roof of the jail, also known as HM Prison Manchester, since about 2pm on Sunday, defying efforts to talk him down and shouting to fellow prisoners, who are on lockdown in their cells.
...Pictures from the scene show a man perched on the gable roof of the 19th-century, panopticon-style prison, which was slick with early morning rain. On Sunday night, according to the Manchester Evening News (MEN), he was seen climbing poles on the roof, removing his jogging bottoms and shouting remarks such as: "100% reoffender".
Horner, who is visible and audible from the rooftop above the walls of the jail, has complained about prison conditions and shouted he wants to change prison history.
Here's a video showing Horner letting out his aggression on the prison:
Via BBC
In your face, Edward Longshanks.
England's Queen Elizabeth II became the longest ever reigning monarch in the country, Sept. 9, according to the BBC.
At about 17:30 BST the Queen will have reigned for 23,226 days, 16 hours and approximately 30 minutes - 63 years and seven months.
[Prime Minister] David Cameron said the service she had given was "truly humbling".
We don't go much in for all the monarchy malarky over here in the States, in fact, we're pretty sure there was a war over it at some point or another. Still, 63 years is a very long time to hold any job, let alone the English throne.
The previous holder of the prestigious record was Queen Elizabeth II's great-great-grandmother, Queen Victoria.
Good job, queen.
Congrats Kween Elizabeth #longestreign pic.twitter.com/gqycdu4WDG
— Jonathan Black (@J_Black13) September 9, 2015Advertisement
Via Daily Mail
One English Millionaire property developer is trying as hard as he can to be a James Bond Villain it seems.
Kim Davies was ordered by a judge to pay £300,000 for breaking planning laws in the use of 150-year-old children's gravestones in the renovation of his country mansion.
Taking them from a run-down Welsh church that he also own, Davies cemented the gravestones into the mansion's walls and used them as flagstones in a patio.
The Daily Mail broke down the fines and the judge's opinion of the crimes.
Davies, who owned the disused chapel at the time, has now been fined £60,000 and ordered to pay another £240,000 costs for breaking planning laws.
Davies's own costs in the last three years were estimated at more than £250,000. He has already sold his Aston Martin and a Lamborghini Spider to raise funds for his court costs.
Issuing the fine, Judge Williams said the work Davies had done to the seven-bedroom house was 'vandalism'. He told him: "You turned the house into something comparable to a hidden palace of an iron curtain dictator."
The gravestones were from mostly the 19th century and some originally marked the burial sites of babies.
Prosecutor Nicholas Haggan said, "One was the grave of David, four, Rose, three and Thomas who was just 11 months old when he died. These headstones were inserted into the walls of Llanwenarth House as decorative stone plaques."
Surely this is not something that's trending in contemporary interior design.
Via The Telegraph
Those of us stateside may not be privy to the news that Scotland is set to vote on a national referendum to become an independent country from the United Kingdom (the UK currently consists of England, Scotland, and Northern Ireland). Since they are officially a single country, no checkpoints currently exist between the two territories. However, an intrepid group of pranksters set out to give the public a taste of what the future might hold in the form of a mini border checkpoint complete with a booth, car barriers, and cones. Cones! That's how you know they mean business.
Via SWNS TV
A schoolgirl was stunned when when she looked into the sky to see this enormous unexplained black ring. Georgina Heap, 16, was playing tennis with her mom Jo when she was stopped in her tracks by the fascinating sight. Gazing into the sky, the pair saw a clearly defined black circle which looked like a giant smoke ring. The ring remained there for around three minutes before disappearing completely. The spectacle, which took place near Leamington Spa on Friday evening, has stumped officials.
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