And to think that I thought I'd sleep tonight. NOPE. Seriously, it is high time for this guy to make power moves and start contacting studios. He's got the (cursed) bones of a great story here. Bullsh*t or not, I was hooked from the get-go with this thread. Solid storytelling, with a voice (cause f**k grammar) that really shines through. Was it his mean Aunt coming back to haunt him and his cousin from the grave? The water on the floors seems to suggest that possibility. And the whole part with the shotgun's safety mode being off? I mean, come on, man.
halloween
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Sure, parents are annoying — what with the “pick up your room,” “what are you doing with your life,” and “no, you cannot turn the garage into something called the ‘Chill Zone.’”
But sometimes, they’re just really scary — like when they threaten to throw away your velvet painting of Hendrix wailing on his axe because you won’t just “move out already.”
Meet Zoë Baumann, for instance. According to her Twitter, her mother dressed up like her dog. While this might be just a way to get her to “clean the pot after making mac and cheese at 4am,” or, simply, this is a Halloween costume, Zoë, nevertheless, brought her personal punishment to Twitter, who had a field day with this.
Check out some of the best responses to Zoë's mom dressed as her dog.
Go Ahead Tours' customer relation team nailed Halloween this year with this amazing photoshoot.
"We vote on a theme, then cast who will play which character.
"Most of us spend those two months gathering pieces of our costumes and putting it together. This year, a group of us spent the whole week before Halloween cutting and spray-painting pieces of cardboard to create our Iron Throne."
In what's surely to start the biggest Halloween trend since the Nurse Joker outbreak of 2008, Carson Daly has dressed as TRL-era Carson Daly for Halloween.
via @jowrotethis
While co-hosting The Today Show, Carson's current job, Daly took it upon himself to confuse his viewers, causing them to not only question what channel they were watching, but also what year it was. Armed with jet-black, spiky hair, several unfortunate piercings, and the excitement that goes with introducing the new 'Nsync video, Daly recreated the stage the that made him a star. Let's just hope those sideburns are here to say.
In the end, thank you, Carson Daly, for choosing a family-friendly 90s Halloween costume and not this terrifying image from the 90s.
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Via BURGER KING
Everyone knows at Burger King, they serve burgers “your way,” but this Halloween, they’re serving them roasted, leaving the competition burnt to a crisp.
A Burger King in Queens, NY got really into the Halloween spirit this year, throwing a white tarp over the building and dressing it up as the ghost of McDonald’s. Rest assured, the location cleared things up on their marquee, which read, “BOOOOO! Just kidding, we still flame grill our burgers. Happy Halloween.” They even scrawled "McDonald's" on their food containters. Needless to say, it was a real fright to an already brave customer-base looking to get their Whopperito on.
via @J4CKMULL
For a company that sells cheeto-dusted chicken fingers and has this creep as their mascot, Burger King really has the weird fast-food marketing department on lock.
Actually, creepy mascots are kind of both of their M.O. I direct your attention to Exhibit A, a gif of a couple of Grimace Grandmas rubbing Ronald McDonald's head. Yikes.
The only question left: how will a combination Taco Bell/KFC respond?
Via Thrillist
It's that time of year again, you're back at school, back at work, and ready to gorge yourself to stay warm as the temperatures turn colder. So we've got some candies we dare you to try, and some fail-safe chicken nuggets to wash them all down with!
Brunch-Flavored Candy Corn is Here
So Brachs has decided to give us our first 'dare candy' of the season in their new Brunch-Flavored Candy Corn.
The bag contains a mix of three flavors, each more nauseating in a candy corn than the one before, and emitting an odor "very reminiscent of a Yankee Maple Pancake candle":
- French Toast & Maple Syrup
- Waffles & Strawberry
- Chocolate Chip & Pancakes
The good folks over at Thrillist just taste-tested them to give you an idea of what to expect:
We recommend you give 'em a try yourself and let us know what you think. Pick 'em up here.
A Definitive Ranking of the Best Fast Food Chicken Nuggets
Oh nuggets, in your little nuggety goodness and bite-sized chompiness, how I love thee!! So when I saw this ranking of the best fast food nuggets, I knew I had to memorize it.
Between Burger King, McDonald's, and Wendy's, who would win?
In one corner is McDonald's, the original creator of the McNugget, a name whose meaning flows deeply into the American psyche and pop culture with toys and phrases based around the juicy meat treat:
In another corner is the winner of 'freshest tasting burger' in my household, Wendy's, and traditionally known for its chicken, Burger King... who would reign supreme?
So the Burger King rankings were surprising, as they have the best chicken sandwich of the bunch (IMO), with a consistent meatiness that the others couldn't always deliver.
Okay, so it's wasn't Burger King... that's weird.
Could it be the Wal-Mart of restaurants, McDonald's? Or my homeboy of freshness, Wendy's?
With an overall winning score of 90.5 (out of 120 possible points), I leave it up to you to guess in the comments section below (before checking) as to who won the Nugget off: Wendy's or McDonald's????
Find out the actual winner here, and run your own taste test and let us know which YOU prefer, in the comments section.
We know why he has 'no comment' now...
Via BetteMidler
Bette Midler just ruined every Hocus Pocus fan's day.
After years of speculation that Midler and her co-stars would reunite for a sequel to the 1993 classic Halloween film Hocus Pocus, the songstress finally put those rumors to rest.
The answer is no—an unequivocal no.
Midler made the declaration during a Facebook Q&A this week, crushing the dreams of so many fans.
Maybe these fans should just calm down.
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Via Esquire
Good grief, it's terrifying Halloween costumes!
The Today Show thought it would be a good idea to ruin Peanuts characters forever by dressing up hosts as life-size, super realistic versions of the comic strip.
Here is the nightmare fuel people were unjustly subjected to.
It's #HalloweenTODAY, Charlie Brown! Watch the TODAY gang reveal their Halloween costumes!
https://t.co/BFZWhkypPd
— TODAY (@TODAYshow) October 30, 2015
The American people were clearly traumatized.
Nothing is more upsetting or a worse idea- historical atrocities included - than the Today show anchors dressed up like Peanuts characters.
— Julie Klausner (@julieklausner) October 30, 2015I was worried I was incapable of being terrified by films or TV anymore. Then I saw the TODAY show cast in their PEANUTS make-up. #purefear
— DrewAtHitFix (@DrewAtHitFix) October 30, 2015Shame on you, Today Show.
Via 12 News
Citizens of Peoria, Arizona: Run, hide, take cover!
A 25-foot-tall, 350-pound orange jack-o'-lantern came unleashed today from the depths of Hell and barreled through traffic before meeting a quick death in a local park.
The giant monstrosity is owned by Big AZ Promotions. A representative from the company said strong winds must have caused straps holding the pumpkin down to break.
Right, Big AZ Promotions. If you say so.
You won't convince anyone that this enormous pumpkin wasn't filled with the spirit of 10,000 demonic creatures.
Via shart-nado
A message on Tumblr from a woman who has anorexia is still changing minds and hearts two years later.
Jessi Davin, a 26-year-old woman from Florida, wrote a post about the controversial "Anna Rexia" costume. She talked about the real effects of the disease on her body and mind.
To her, this costume isn't funny at all.
Davin's post gets re-shared thousands of times each Halloween when the "Anna Rexia" costume becomes popular again.
"I think costumes like ['Anna Rexia'] really show how much we as a society have to learn about mental illness and the way it affects the people around us," Davin told BuzzFeed News.
"People need to know that if you suffer from an eating disorder — you aren't a joke."
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Via Jerkweed777
Here's your friendly reminder that you shouldn't wear blackface on Halloween (or ever.)
A 5th grade teacher at the Chestnut Grove Elementary School in Alabama apparently didn't get this memo. He dressed up as Kanye West, complete with "Kanye for Prez 2020" sign.
Heath Morrow's wife Shannon posted the photo on Facebook with the caption: "Haha some people thought Heath was really a black man."
She's probably not laughing now.
Although the original post has been deleted, nothing is gone forever once posted on the Internet.
Sadly, instances of blackface appear every year on Halloween. Most notably, actress Julianne Hough went in blackface as "Crazy Eyes" from Orange is The New Black in 2013.
Google wants to make sure you look super fly on Halloween night.
The company just released Frightgeist, an interactive map that plots the most popular Halloween costumes based on search terms across the country.
Check out the site and make sure your costume is original, like the delicate flower you are.
Here are the 10 most popular costumes nationally...
Via Target
When you go to Target for one item, you'll end up leaving with a shopping cart full. That's just basic science.
But thanks to an actually delightful Halloween campaign from the store, you might just need two shopping carts on your next visit.
In a new campaign for Target's Halloween merchandise, the retailer takes viewers on an immersive, 360-degree video "choose your own adventure."
You just start at the video above, and follow the story from room to room in a haunted house.
In a world that's full of advertising, it's nice for a change of pace.
Just make sure to not block the entry way into the Dollar Spot, or some soccer moms could get violent.
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Via People
This could either be really entertaining or really stupid. Probably both.
This Halloween Eve, psychic medium Chip Coffey and the reality stars of Ghost Asylum are going to try to cleanse the home in Missouri that inspired the 1971 film The Exorcist.
They are calling it Exorcism: Live!, which, despite the title, is not a musical.
Jodi Tovay, senior manager of development and production at Discovery Communications, sat down with People to give her thoughts on the upcoming show.
"This is the most dangerous night in television. When you're dealing with the spirit world, there are actual physical risks involved," she warns.
"It is not a hoax. This is a real story that happened and we are telling it. We want you to watch our show and prove us wrong. I dare you not to be scared."
Well, now you've convinced us! This is totally real and not a gimmick at all.
Spooky.
Via Tumblr/linklings
It seems like everything gets a "sexy" costume for Halloween nowadays.
You would think that after a sexy Donald Trump costume was made, the world would have reached peak sexy costume. But you'd be wrong.
Meet sexy Gandalf.
Tjitske Van Vark, an 18-year-old Australian high school student, posted photos of her amazing costume creation to Tumblr, and they blew up.
She wore the costume to school for "Muck Up Day," an Australian tradition where seniors pull pranks on the last day of school.
Tumblr even featured her photo on the front page.
Thank you, Tjitske. The Internet needed this.
