Turns out Home Alone's iconic McCallister family is borderline psychotic when it comes to ensuring their decor is Christmas-color-friendly.
And a Happy New Year.
Since it's release some 25 years ago, Home Alone has risen in stature, from stupid movie about a child nearly murdering two hapless goons to holiday classic. However, no one seems to remember that Home Alone 2: Lost in New York for Nintendo was a virtual nightmare, which makes the release of this 8-bit remake of Home Alone all the stranger.
This video, which certainly has its charms, should not be watched by anyone who couldn't get through the first freakin' level of Home Alone 2 for Nintendo. Not that I'd want to. Look at this, who'd want to get past the first level of this game:
But then you get into the hotel and you make it to the elevator, but when you press the elevator button nothing happens, and Hanukkah is ruined. Ugh. What gives. Then you have to return the game to the store and buy Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: The Manhattan Project, which is a better game, but still how do you beat this part:
Would you look at that? I'm rambling about Home Alone 2 again.
You know what? Just watch the video. Relive the horror of one of the worst games I've ever played, while you get all warm and fuzzy about the original Home Alone.
This might actually work if we can yank today's poorly aged Kevin McCallister (Macaulay Culkin) out his chain-smoking tent to star as Jigsaw in "The First Act."
Like the grown-up Culkin looks creepy enough without the proverbial sadistic clown face mask. Grantland writer, Jason Concepcion scrooged our last holiday season over when he drew back the curtains on a truth too dark and twisted for any 90's kid to stomach; Kevin McCallister, the blue-eyed, smirking, havoc-wreaking, kid-wonder with an overdeveloped appetite for lighting burglars on fire matures to become Jigsaw from the "Saw" series.
Perhaps most compelling of Concepcion's unfortunately well grounded theory, is his proposal that Jigsaw's inventions mirror what the young Kevin McCallister imagined as some sort of furnace monster in the original Home Alone. Just an arm's reach away from the furnace sits a clown mask that holds an uncanny resemblance to the Jigsaw mask. Uh, okay then.
Concepcion ended his original post after proposing this theory with a neck hair raising, "case closed."
The big and burly Pittsburgh Penguins took off the pads, hung up the skates, and created a knockout Home Alone parody just in time for the holiday season.
This couldn't come at a better time. We're still trying to deal with whatever sort of cigarette munching, crazy-eyed, mop-headed, sewage beast the once beloved, vaguely adorable Macaulay Carson Culkin evolved into.
Who knew these guys were such good friends? It's likely that these 90's stars met while working on Robot Chicken, a show that Seth Green helped create.
Apparently these three met up to hang out when Seth Green, his wife Clare Grant and Macaulay Culkin came to see Bob Saget in the Broadway puppet show Hand to God.
The star of the 1990 holiday hit, Home Alone, has recently released this video of him eating a slice of delicious pizza. Though it seems very strange, the video is in homage of Andy Warhol's art piece where he simply eats a Burger King Whopper. Given the time of year, one might guess that Culkin's choice of food might also be in tribute to his famed character, Kevin McCallister, whose favorite food was plain cheese pizza.