idiots

Stupid is not a strong enough word to describe these alleged jewelry thieves.

Police say a man and woman were arrested this weekend in Palm Springs after stealing a bracelet and ring from an art studio. And how were they caught?

They signed the guest book.

Megan Ohara, 24, and David Ziskoski, 19, were arrested for allegedly stealing the jewelry, which was valued at $6,000.

Here's how it went down, according to the Sun Sentinel:

When confronted, Ohara told police she had the items in her purse. She gave the officers the ring and bracelet, and subsequently, she and Ziskoski were arrested.

As officers arrived back to the gallery, the artist said he had noticed something in his gallery's guestbook. Someone had written multiple fake email entries into the guestbook, including "wedidnttakeit@gmail.com," according to the arrest report.

Two of the fake emails included the name "Meg" and one included Ohara's phone number next to it. Also on the page was a drawing of male genitalia and a woman's face labeled as "Meg."

Someone get these two a Darwin Award, stat!

Bonny and Clyde, they ain't.

A couple of very smart people bragged about their Aug. 24 Asheville, Ohio bank robbery by posting pictures on social media with the wads of cash they took from the bank tellers.

This is obviously not a smart idea.

According to Sostre News:

Police were helped in their investigation by the clear images showing John Mogan and Ashley Duboe hamming it up with their fortune in greenbacks. Four days after the robbery, they began posting photos of their loot, and one friend complained that Mogan " didn't hook a brother up."

Mogan and Duboe were arrested this week for the August 24 robbery. Police say they gave a note to the teller in the Ashville bank, and walked out with a tall stack of bills. He looks nervous on the surveillance video, but in the days after the heist, they both looked gleeful on their Facebook postings.

Apparently, Morgan had just gotten out of state prison for an earlier bank robbery. He put on make up to disguise his face and neck tattoos. But sadly, nothing could disguise his stupidity.

Thursday was Texas Muslim Capitol Day in Austin, and a bunch of anti-Muslim protesters and a Texas lawmaker made things really weird.

The event is held every 2 years and is organized by the Texas chapter of the Council on American-Islamic Relations as an opportunity for the Muslim community the meet with lawmakers.

This is the first year that protesters have showed up, according to the Texas Tribune, and one woman took things to a whole new level of crazy when she pulled a Kanye on one of the speakers.

“I proclaim the name of the Lord Jesus Christ over the Capitol of Texas,” she said. “I stand against Islam and the false prophet Mohammad. Islam will never dominate the United States and by the grace of God, it will not dominate Texas.”

State Rep. Molly White also created a stir with a Facebook post about the event in which she requested that Muslims visiting her office publicly pledge allegiance to the U.S.

“I did leave an Israeli flag on the reception desk in my office with instructions to staff to ask representatives from the Muslim community to renounce Islamic terrorist groups and publicly announce allegiance to America and our laws,” she wrote. “We will see how long they stay in my office.”

Of course, people online aren’t taking this very well.

From Facebook:

“On behalf of my fellow Christians, I renounce Molly White.” – Joe Alvarado


“I was born and raised here in Texas, and I was also raised Muslim. I didn’t realize that 15 years of pledging allegiance to America in public school wasn’t enough to solidify my American identity. Plz let me know how your Israeli flag will help me become a better American, and also how I can avoid becoming a terrorist. Thank you.” – Laila Khalili

Speaker of the House Joe Straus issued a statement afterwards commenting on White’s mandatory oath.

“The Texas Capitol belongs to all the people of this state, and legislators have a responsibility to treat all visitors just as we expect to be treated — with dignity and respect,” he said. “Anything else reflects poorly on the entire body and distracts from the very important work in front of us.”

24-year old Riley Swearingen thought nothing about his drunken joke on a police officer.

According to the criminal complaint, Mankato Department of Public Safety Police Sergeant Adam Gray was talking with a driver of a "drunk bus" in the city's entertainment district when he "felt two fingertips that were obvious to him as wet with saliva being pushed into his right and left ear canals, which caused pressure and discomfort in his ear canals."

The officer turned and saw a man later identified as Swearingen tell his friends, "I just gave the cop a wet Willie."

"Sergeant Gray immediately proceeded after the male who assaulted him," the complaint continues.

Once he was apprehended, Swearingen told Gray he was just joking around and was sorry, but Gray arrested him anyway.

Read the rest of the story on City Pages.