If there’s one thing we know about reviving dinosaurs for a theme park, it’s that it all starts with something encased in amber.
Dr. John Hammond in the film Jurassic Park resurrects the dinosaurs with a sample of blood from a mosquito. Who knows what he could do with this: A 99-year-old feathered dinosaur tail, which was recently discovered in a Myanmar market.
The amber is “roughly the size of an apricot” and “captures one of the Earliest moments of differentiation between the feathers of birds of flight and the feathers of dinosaurs.” Though, because of these feathers, the dinosaur was probably unable to fly. This means scientists could actually see the color of the tail, which was “described as chestnut brown with a pale or white underside.”
Of course, up until now, we had thought that discovering something in amber was the first step toward opening a theme park of dinosaurs and getting your grandchildren attacked by a velociraptor or something. But we do we know, we just saw Jurassic Park. It’s not like that makes you an expert in dino attacks and how to prevent them.
Like many of these types of amber, this one was actually meant to be sold as jewelry. This was just one of two dozen purchased from a Myanmar market. Lisa Xing of the China University of Geoscience, who led the research, told National Geographic that because conflicts between the Myanmar government and the Kachin Independence Army are “nearing end,” the Hukawng Valley, where these ambers are found, will open up and more discoveries can be made.
"Maybe we can find a complete dinosaur.” he said.
And all we can do is watch in horror as this paleontologist casually begins a Jurassic Park scenario that we’re all destined to become wrapped up in.
Sit back and let me tell you about the 1990s, my children. It was a time when the Internet barely existed, when most soft drinks were transparent and when every popular movie had an accompanying Saturday morning cartoon.
That honor was almost bestowed upon 1993's classic Jurassic Park, based on original images released by William Stout on his website.
Check out these images:
"We made a trailer to communicate the look and feel of the series, also showing how we would combine computer animation with traditional animation. All we needed was Spielberg's approval.
"I heard through the grapevine that [Spielberg] never bothered to watch what we had done," Stout said. "By that time, the word was out that he was burnt out on 'Jurassic Park' merchandising and all of the film's commercial exploitation. So, it never got made. Too bad."
With the crazy success of Jurassic World, you'd almost expect them to be exploring this all over again.
Jurassic World has done pretty well for itself since it's release last month. It has already claimed the top box office spot in 2015 and is actually vying for the third highest grossing movie of all time.
It even did pretty well by critical standards, but there was one thing that annoyed many people: The fact that costar Bryce Dallas Howard kept wearing high heels throughout the whole rollicking adventure.
It sparked many online articles about the footwear as sexist costuming and about how maybe it's not really that sexist after all.
Hell even this woman who couldn't stop crying over how much she loved Jurassic World commented on how she thought Howard's continual use of high heels was "stupid".
Either way, these heroic people at XVP Comedy took the time to insert high heels into some of the most striking scenes through the past four dinosaur park movies.
My girlfriend and I are paleontologists, and we really love Jurassic Park. On June 02, 2012, I surprised her with a secret trip to the fictional "Snakewater, Montana," which was the original filming location for the excavation scene at the beginning of Jurassic Park. On a very windy day, I coaxed her into reenacting the "annoying kid" scene on camera, which was really the beginning of my proposal...she had no idea.
Coming soon: Jurassic Park, The Wedding.