McDonald's

Blessed be he, the Grimace.

That’s right. Grimace, Fry Guy, and Ronald McDonald are opening up shop right next to the Pope in downtown Vatican City, catering to the some six-millions tourists that pass through those hollowed grounds every year.

Not everyone’s looking to give the Hamburglar forgiveness, though. Only God may judge the Hamburglar.

via Geek

According to Vice, the new McDonald’s is "at the corner Borgo Pio and Via del Mascherino, a mere block and a half—about 100 yards—from the famous St Peter’s Square. While neighbors already displeased by vendors hawking knickknacks in the area have complained that the McDonald’s would be a 'decisive blow on an already wounded animal,' at least one Cardinal is also saying leasing Vatican real estate to Ronald McDonald isn’t in keeping with the Church’s mission.”

Vice recieved an official response from McDonald’s, which stated they are occupying “a popular tourist area outside the Vatican that already has many other restaurants, bars, and retail shops… As is the case whenever McDonald’s operates near historic sites anywhere in Italy, this restaurant has been fully adapted with respect to the historical environment.”

McDonald’s isn’t the only chain that’s coming to the Vatican. Hard Rock Cafe is coming to Via della Conciliazione, answering the prayers of millions who want yet another Hard Rock Cafe, apparently.

Enjoy the Vatican, tourists, it’s yours now!

via YouTube

No, he would not like fries with that. 

Police arrested U.S. Marshal Charles Brown on Saturday after allegedly threatening a McDonald’s employee in New York City with a gun for taking too long. Now that’s what I call an un-happy meal. Sorry.

According to Gothamist, “Charles Brown, 30, was on line at around 1:20 a.m. at the 86th Street McDonald's in Bay Ridge when he got into an argument with a 25-year-old worker about the wait, according to an NYPD spokeswoman. Brown allegedly stormed out of the establishment, pulled out a gun, and pointed it at the worker from outside, the spokeswoman said.”

via Make A Gif

First, McDonald's employees can't even make a livable wage, now customers don't even want them living. It doesn’t sound like this customer was ba-da-da-da loving it... Again, very sorry. I'm just kind of going through something at the moment. 

Police found Brown a block away with a loaded .40-caliber pistol on his belt. He is being charged “with menacing, a licensed firearm transgression, both misdemeanors, and harassment.” The judge released him without bail and requires that he stay away from McDonald’s. Wait, judges can do that? Then what excuse is there for Hamburglar crime spree? 

Sounds like he left with a real Grimace. Ugh. There’s no excuse for these. It’s just there are so many McDonald’s puns to make. Sesame seed pun. Stop it.

via YouTube

Adam Ruins Everything has spilled the beans on one of the most infamous lawsuits of the last 30 years.

You’ve probably heard the story of the greedy old woman and her dastardly plan to burn herself and make out with millions. Heck, they made a Seinfeld episode out of it.

But that’s not the real story.

Adam Ruins Everything spent last night ruining justice in their latest episode, and in the midst of taking the criminal justice system to task, he gave a run down of the real story of that greedy old woman who burned herself for money.

via ATTN

What actually happened was a 79-year-old woman, sitting in the passenger seat of a parked car, accidentally spilled McDonald’s coffee on herself. While she admitted the accident was her fault, McDonald’s coffee was being served at 190 degrees — nearly boiling — and left her with third degree burns. McDonald’s said that their coffee was a hazard at that temperature, agreeing with the 700 people who had already complained during the previous decade.

Check out the full clip above and think twice cracking joke about a lawsuit like this. 

via 20th Century Fox

Australian Badminton player Sawan Serasinghe drowned his Rio loss sorrows like only an Olympian can: with an 8,000-calorie gorgefest at Mickey D's.



His fans don't seem too upset about it yet...



...but just wait until that 8,000 calories hits his thighs

Sounds like a joke, but it really happened. When the Swede was asked to leave (with the dead badger), the man got upset and started hitting parked cars outside with the dead animal. Try to explain that to your car insurance company!

(The badger in the pic is not the one in question. Photo: Henrik Montgomery/TT)

Seeing McDonald's food looking pristine after an uncomfortable amount of time is nothing new. That doesn't make it any easier to swallow.  Jennifer Lovdahl posted this image on Facebook with a description of it's quality six years after purchase. 



This is what she had to say about it:

It's been 6 years since I bought this "Happy Meal" at McDonald's. It's been sitting at our office this whole time and has not rotted, molded, or decomposed at all!!! It smells only of cardboard. We did this experiment to show our patients how unhealthy this "food" is. Especially for our growing children!! There are so many chemicals in this food! Choose real food! Apples, bananas, carrots, celery....those are real fast food.

McDonald's has apparently been handing out mozzarella sticks with no mozzarella in them.  Several disappointed customers have turned to Twitter to share photos of the sad looking "hollow breading" sticks. These images have gone viral as the rest of the world sympathizes with these unfortunate people's lack of snack.   

via @funkymarimar

Those poor people.