McDonald's

Blessed be he, the Grimace.

That’s right. Grimace, Fry Guy, and Ronald McDonald are opening up shop right next to the Pope in downtown Vatican City, catering to the some six-millions tourists that pass through those hollowed grounds every year.

Not everyone’s looking to give the Hamburglar forgiveness, though. Only God may judge the Hamburglar.

via Geek

According to Vice, the new McDonald’s is "at the corner Borgo Pio and Via del Mascherino, a mere block and a half—about 100 yards—from the famous St Peter’s Square. While neighbors already displeased by vendors hawking knickknacks in the area have complained that the McDonald’s would be a 'decisive blow on an already wounded animal,' at least one Cardinal is also saying leasing Vatican real estate to Ronald McDonald isn’t in keeping with the Church’s mission.”

Vice recieved an official response from McDonald’s, which stated they are occupying “a popular tourist area outside the Vatican that already has many other restaurants, bars, and retail shops… As is the case whenever McDonald’s operates near historic sites anywhere in Italy, this restaurant has been fully adapted with respect to the historical environment.”

McDonald’s isn’t the only chain that’s coming to the Vatican. Hard Rock Cafe is coming to Via della Conciliazione, answering the prayers of millions who want yet another Hard Rock Cafe, apparently.

Enjoy the Vatican, tourists, it’s yours now!

via YouTube

No, he would not like fries with that. 

Police arrested U.S. Marshal Charles Brown on Saturday after allegedly threatening a McDonald’s employee in New York City for taking too long. Now that’s what I call an un-happy meal. Sorry.

According to Gothamist, “Charles Brown, 30, was on line at around 1:20 a.m. at the 86th Street McDonald's in Bay Ridge when he got into an argument with a 25-year-old worker about the wait, according to an NYPD spokeswoman. Brown allegedly stormed out of the establishment, pulled out a gun, and pointed it at the worker from outside, the spokeswoman said.”

via Make A Gif

First, McDonald's employees can't even make a livable wage, now customers don't even want them living. It doesn’t sound like this customer was ba-da-da-da loving it... Again, very sorry. I'm just kind of going through something at the moment. 

Police found Brown a block away with a loaded .40-caliber pistol on his belt. He is being charged “with menacing, a licensed firearm transgression, both misdemeanors, and harassment.” The hudge released him without bail and requires that he stay away from McDonald’s. Wait, judges can do that? Then what excuse is there for Hamburlar crime spree? 

Sounds like he left with a real Grimace. Ugh. There’s no excuse for these. It’s just there are so many McDonald’s puns to make. Sesame seed pun. Stop it.

via YouTube

Adam Ruins Everything has spilled the beans on one of the most infamous lawsuits of the last 30 years.

You’ve probably heard the story of the greedy old woman and her dastardly plan to burn herself and make out with millions. Heck, they made a Seinfeld episode out of it.

But that’s not the real story.

Adam Ruins Everything spent last night ruining justice in their latest episode, and in the midst of taking the criminal justice system to task, he gave a run down of the real story of that greedy old woman who burned herself for money.

via ATTN

What actually happened was a 79-year-old woman, sitting in the passenger seat of a parked car, accidentally spilled McDonald’s coffee on herself. While she admitted the accident was her fault, McDonald’s coffee was being served at 190 degrees — nearly boiling — and left her with third degree burns. McDonald’s said that their coffee was a hazard at that temperature, agreeing with the 700 people who had already complained during the previous decade.

Check out the full clip above and think twice cracking joke about a lawsuit like this. 

via 20th Century Fox

Australian Badminton player Sawan Serasinghe drowned his Rio loss sorrows like only an Olympian can: with an 8,000-calorie gorgefest at Mickey D's.



His fans don't seem too upset about it yet...



...but just wait until that 8,000 calories hits his thighs

Sounds like a joke, but it really happened. When the Swede was asked to leave (with the dead badger), the man got upset and started hitting parked cars outside with the dead animal. Try to explain that to your car insurance company!

(The badger in the pic is not the one in question. Photo: Henrik Montgomery/TT)

Seeing McDonald's food looking pristine after an uncomfortable amount of time is nothing new. That doesn't make it any easier to swallow.  Jennifer Lovdahl posted this image on Facebook with a description of it's quality six years after purchase. 



This is what she had to say about it:

It's been 6 years since I bought this "Happy Meal" at McDonald's. It's been sitting at our office this whole time and has not rotted, molded, or decomposed at all!!! It smells only of cardboard. We did this experiment to show our patients how unhealthy this "food" is. Especially for our growing children!! There are so many chemicals in this food! Choose real food! Apples, bananas, carrots, celery....those are real fast food.

McDonald's has apparently been handing out mozzarella sticks with no mozzarella in them.  Several disappointed customers have turned to Twitter to share photos of the sad looking "hollow breading" sticks. These images have gone viral as the rest of the world sympathizes with these unfortunate people's lack of snack.   
via @funkymarimar

Those poor people. 

Hong Kong just went next level with the fast food dining experience.

We associate Mickey D's with grease-soaked, hastily-fried, platters of 'do I really want the salad this time, or anytime though?'

Who would've thought McDonald's would've introduced classy presentations--we're talking burgers on cutting boards--fresh ingredients, for the freshest salads; and even insta-fame-worthy lattes with artful twists that'd color any hipster grateful.

In 2009, during the Icelandic economic collapse, McDonalds shut its golden arches on the country and left it without hideous processed McBurgers to clog Icelandic arteries. A man named Hjörtur Smárason purchased up the very last cheeseburger sold in the country, but rather than consume it, he left it on a shelf in his garage for a three years. When next he looked at it, he realized the burger hadn't aged a day, and donated it to the national museum, where it sat in storage for another year.

Eventually the burger made its way to the Reykjavik Bus Hostel, where it's now on display 24/7 via live webcam and occasionally on Instagram when it goes on field trips. The burger seems a little dry more than 2200 days after it was made, but is still, grossly, totally edible looking:

48 chicken nuggets, 2,256 calories, no regrets.

McDonald's in Japan is planning on offering a 48-piece chicken nugget meal. The United States currently offers a 40-piece, so maybe this doesn't seem like a big deal.

But it is. Because the largest current chicken nugget meal in Japan is a 15-piece.

From Kotaku:

Likewise, the offer is for a limited time only. It's available only in Niigata Prefecture and part of a promotional tie-up with the the newly launched pop group NGT48, the Niigata-based spin-off of the massively popular idol unit AKB48. The groups tend to have around 48 members (sometimes more, sometimes less), divided up into different teams. That's a lot of idols. That's okay, this is a lot of nuggets. Forty-eight nuggets is surely a whole chicken, no? Fifty has to be.

King Curtis is very happy with this decision.

The Dollar Menu is dead.

It has been a slow death for the popular Dollar Menu at McDonald's. But a new menu called the "McPick 2," which allows customers to choose between a McDouble, a McChicken, small fries and mozzarella sticks for $2, is taking its place.

The company hopes this will bring customers back who have left since the death of the Dollar Menu.

From the AP:

Whether the McPick menu catches on remains to be seen.

In an attempt to wean customers off the Dollar Menu in 2012, McDonald's rolled out an "Extra Value Menu" that offered items for a range of prices. After that failed to take hold, the company turned to the "Dollar Menu & More," which channeled a proven name but may have confused people with its range of prices.

McDonald's isn't alone in struggling to get customers to let go of the $1 price. Wendy's tried replacing its 99-cent menu with a "Right Price Right Size" menu, but acknowledged the switch wasn't doing the job. Last month, it began promoting a limited-time "4 for $4" deal that includes a Jr. Bacon Cheeseburger, chicken nuggets, fries and a drink.

Your McGangBang dreams are pretty much over, America.

We weep for you.

This McDonald's employee definitely wasn't lovin' it.

The company told reporters Wednesday that an employee captured in a video luring a homeless man to the drive-through window in Detroit with a hamburger, and then throwing water in his face, has been fired.

"Hey, Willie. Come here. You want a sandwich?" the unnamed employee can be heard yelling before throwing the cup of water.

McDonald's franchisee Wise Finley said he was disturbed by the "inappropriate" incident and took action to fire the employee.

"This type of behavior is not tolerated in my organization. I expect my employees to treat everyone with dignity and respect, and this was unacceptable," Finley told the Detroit Free Press.

"The lady will have a Big Mac."

McDonald's has been going through a tough time, recently. Globally it seems like people are realizing that heavily processed fast food rich in fats and sugars might not be the best bet for a long and happy life.

So, the giant chain has gone back to the drawing board with random things like a new hamburglar and this latest ploy to get some golden arches fans in Sweden.

At a few locations, McDonald's will try taking reservations for tables and having a wait staff to take orders. This according to Yahoo News:

Burger lovers can book a table online at a Swedish website that offers that service for many restaurants -- in many price ranges -- around the country. The McDonald's customer will have to order at least two items from the menu for one to four people.

The home of the Big Mac is testing reservations and table service in a country that has been a difficult market. McDonald's has faced fierce competition there from US rival Burger King and Swedish chain Max.

But this latest experiment seems to undermine the whole idea of fast food.

"It's innovative but at the same time it's going backwards in the world of the restaurant industry," where the concept of fast food was invented in the 1950s, said Nicolas Nouchi, analyst at CHD Expert.

We can't really imagine what it would be like to sit at a table and have some poor person take your order for chicken nuggets and a large fry. But Swedes love competent service from all food vendors.

McDonald's should just tell Sweden about the secret menu, including the unfortunately-named McGangBang.

What began as an innocent AMA on reddit became a treasure trove of secrets.

Redditor u/orchidhibiscus, who seems to have since deleted his account, claimed to be a manager at a UK McDonalds and set out to answer some questions people had about fast food production.

Then someone dropped the big question:

If you are unaware, the idea of the secret menu was popularized by the west coast burger chain In-N-Out. They have a slew of items that can be made from mixing and matching other items on the existing menu and just decided to go ahead and let it be its own thing.

In that particular AMA, only two of those items were defined. Users seemed to agree that the Land, Air, and Sea burger probably consisted of beef, chicken and fish patties. And the McGangbang is not just a classy name, rather it's a Jr. Chicken sandwich encased within a double cheezeburger.

For their part, McDonald's answers the secret menu question on their website.

We have no secret menu — or do we?

Actually, our customers are pretty clever when it comes to customizing their orders with our menu items, so you may have seen some of their creations online. But we have no official secret menu of our own.

Well, tell that to their customers or the websites set up to describe McDonald's secret menu.

Or, you can do one better and watch some video reviews of those items off a menu that 'doesn't exist'.

This guy goes after that elusive McGangbang and finds the sandwich has a lot more taste than the name.

Make sure to turn on the captions.