wall street journal says proctor and gamble blames millennials for not buying fabric softener
Via Walmart
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If we could just make a list of all the things millennials have done to make the world a worst place:

  1. Gave themselves participation trophies
  2. Personally directed the Star War prequels
  3. Killed fabric softener

Is there a more dangerous demographic?

According to The Wall Street Journal, millennials aren’t buying fabric softener, which is a problem for sensitive skin and Proctor and Gamble stockholders every where. Luckily, millennials also invented the rebranding, so that should quell the malicious demographics’ bloodlust.

Now, there are several explanations for why millennials aren’t buying fabric softener. For instance, some say that they don’t know what fabric softener is for, leading to a 15% drop in sales between 2007 and 2015. Others say millennials are more “eco conscious” and want fewer chemicals in the house. Even fewer say that millennials just follow the wash instructions on their clothes, which say nothing about fabric softener.

Rise of athleisure = death of fabric softener

— Sara Germano (@germanotes) December 16, 2016

Things just keep getting worse, as the piece points out, millennials are not only reading, but also following direction and saving a few bucks.

Frankly, we’ve all had enough of millennials and their thrifty ways. Excuse me while I raise my fist to the sky and shake!

via Reddit

Some on the internet are actually accusing fabric softener of not actually doing something, explaining for the decline in sales. As if these selfish, me-me-me-me, whiny millennials actually need their products to do something.

You know, when the baby boomers were kicking, they didn’t need a product to do anything. A pet rock was all they needed to have a good time.

via The Weird Wonderz

woman writes wedding hashtags for money in most millennial job ever
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Everyone agrees: The most important part of the wedding is the hashtag.

You could have the right dress, cake, and DJ, but if your hashtag fails to inspire and delight your guests, guess what, no one had a good time. The hashtag lives on long after the music ends and leaves an indelible print on your pictures. It’s the first thing that guests ask for and the last thing they forget.

So why would you leave the hashtag up to the amateurs?

Gunning for the title of most millennial job of 2016, Marielle Wakim, a Los Angeles-based magazine editor, is offering personalized wedding for a low, low price. “Happily Ever #Hashtagged,” Wakim’s business offers hashtags, charging $40 for one and $115 for three options. She’s also willing to tag bachelor and bachelorette parties.

via @happilyeverhashtagged

Recently, Wakim’s wedding hashtags were featured on Good Morning America, where John Legend didn’t seem too impressed by them. Although, we’re in agreement, the one she wrote for George and Amal Clooney, “AmalYourGeorge,” was pretty solid. 

For more on Wakim, check out her interview in Mashable or simply call her because you don’t want your special day to be ruined, do you?

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adulting school maine opens to teach millenials to be grownups
Via Seeso
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Growing up can be tough, what with knowing when to brush your teeth and feeding yourself and, ugh, putting pants on. The worst.

Thankfully, someone has set out to confirm all the worst stereotypes about millennials and teach them how to break them. Enroll now in, *sigh* Adulting School. With classes in finance, health, relationships, communication, and handiwork, The Adulting School is here to teach you how to “Adult.”

via The Adulting School 

Founded by psychotherapist Rachel Weinstein and former public school teacher Katie Brunelle and based out of Portland, Maine, The Adulting School offers a variety of seminars and classes on how to be a big person who can take care of themself. You can even take an Adulting IQ exam to find out how adult you are. Note: The exam does not ask the most common adult questions, such as "Who am I?" and "What am I doing with my life?" 

Their website promises:

“You don't have a ton of time to commit or money to spend on figuring it all out and that's okay — we have succinct, useable, accessible information in our workshops, summits, webinars and blogs. We've gathered quality, down-to-earth experts as part of our community to answer your questions and get you moving forward with the adulting fundamentals you need.”

Get your life together and become a master adulter (that can’t be the right word) today!

via Imgur

study finds that millenials are the worst houseguests
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In addition to demanding their participation awards, only being concerned with their Twitters, and never fighting in World War II, millenials have topped the list of “Worst Houseguests,” according to a study by HomeAdvisor, making them the worst, officially.


The study, which looked at the biggest houseguest annoyances and habits among 2,000 people in the U.S., found that among millennials, Generation Xers, and baby boomers, millennials exhibit the worst behavior. Not only do millennials crave positive reinforcement, but also they are most likely to exhibit the same habits that bother them. I didn’t think that something that was already the worst could get any worse, but here we are.

According to Apartment Therapy: “When it came to copping to their own bad behaviors, millennials admitted to the most offenses of all three generations—16 out of the 27 on the list, as compared to 9 for Gen Xers and only one for baby boomers (cleaning without asking first). Among the list of offenses millennial respondents admitted to? Showing up early, not treating the host to a meal, eating too much food, not offering to help with cooking or chores, making too much noise, and never making their bed.”

Check out the list of bad habits millennials have below and the rest of the list here. I’m sure you’ll agree that no matter how bad you thought millennials were, they’ll inevitably find something to make the that much worse. Ugh. It’s, like, give it a rest with being the worst already.


Think Piece Asks "Why Aren't Millennials Buying Diamonds?" So They Answered

The Economist published an article that points out the diamond business isn't as booming as it once was.This prompted them to ask why millennials aren't buying diamonds. Obviously, some of those "social media obsessed" Millennials took to Twitter to answer that pressing question.

FAIL diamonds millennials social media - 854021
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This brave woman is standing up for something she believes in by posting to Facebook with her opinion about, among other things, how wrong it is that Millennials' idea of "standing up for something [they] believe in means going on Facebook and posting a status with [their] opinion." (That quote is taken directly from her video. )

Unfortunately, someone beat her to this apology a few years ago:

kids these days cereal survey Survey Says Millennials Don't Eat Cereal, Not to Be Healthy but Because They're Lazy
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What could be lazier than eating cereal for breakfast, you ask? Apparently anything that doesn't require cleanup. As reported by the New York Times, "Almost 40 percent of the millennials surveyed by Mintel for its 2015 report said cereal was an inconvenient breakfast choice because they had to clean up after eating it."

If you just don't have time to eat cereal but you wish you could, don't worry. New robot technology to make breakfast easier is almost perfected. 

Study of The Day: Pew Research Shows 40 Percent of Millennials Would Censor Offensive Speech
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America: Land of the free and home of censorship?

A new study by Pew Research shows that American Millennials are far more likely to support the government banning offensive speech about minority groups than other generations.

Of those aged 18-34, 40 percent support censoring offensive speech.

"We asked whether people believe that citizens should be able to make public statements that are offensive to minority groups, or whether the government should be able to prevent people from saying these things. Four-in-ten Millennials say the government should be able to prevent people publicly making statements that are offensive to minority groups, while 58% said such speech is OK."

Although this statistic might be shocking to some free speech advocates, it really should be taken with a large grain of salt.

Nearly two-thirds of Americans still say "offensive speech" should be allowed. And out of 38 other nations polled, the median was 35 percent.

There's also a difference in education levels and support for limiting speech. Those with a high school degree or less are 9-percentage-points more likely to support censorship.

You can draw your own conclusions with that last statistic.