This rap sh*t is mine, motherf*cker.
As the wave of nostalgia continues to plague our culture, yet another beloved property is getting the old reboot: Jim Henson's Muppet Babies. This ain't your father's Muppet Babies, though. Muppet Babies will feature a new, 100% computer-generated look for Kermit, Miss Piggy, Fozzy, and the rest. No word yet as to whether or not Nanny and her infamous green and white stripped stockings will be 100% computer generated.
Oh, also, the characters look absolutely terrifying.
Kermit the Frog has got a new boo.
After Kermit and Miss Piggy announced their split earlier this summer, Kermit told the press that he had a new love in his life. Well, now we finally have a peek at the happy couple.
Meet Denise, Kermit's girlfriend. She's also a pig, but seems to be a bit more chill than Miss Piggy.
As with most things, reactions were mixed on the Internet.
Kermit doesn't know any beautiful female frogs? His mama's a frog. His sister is a frog. Who taught Kermit to hate himself?— Rae (@raesanni) September 1, 2015
Kermit needs to stop dating outside of his species and get himself a nice, strong amphibious queen like croakisha. pic.twitter.com/yqe4wKEgr2— JR. (@June__NYC) September 1, 2015
Close Friends chime in on the Kermit/Piggy scandal. pic.twitter.com/i0m0T4RKja— CasanoVa Brown (@YahWeh_Tweets) September 1, 2015
*Moves Kermit out the way* Denise what's good? pic.twitter.com/ETJ81KX4Vb— ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ ⠀ (@NasMaraj) September 1, 2015
But it doesn't seem like Miss Piggy even cares to notice all of the new attention on Denise.
It was only a few weeks ago when we learned about the break up between Kermit the Frog and Ms. Piggy.
It turns out that split had been happening for quite some time and they only just recently made it public.
If this is news to you, then you'd better sit down as you read Ms. Piggy's announcement on Facebook. It's the same that Kermit circulated around Twitter.
Also, never forget that these are not real people and this is all shameless marketing for the upcoming Muppets tv show on ABC.
But there's no reason to be cynical, so play along if you'd like.
"Where were you when you heard about Kermit and Miss Piggy?"
This will be the question we all ask ourselves when discussing the unforeseen and public break up that announced the two muppets decided to take a one way trip to Splitsville, Aug. 4.
In a shocking Facebook move, Miss Piggy laid out the whole of the reason the famous couple chose to call it quits, thus invalidating all the close relationships in your own personal life.
Kermit delivered the public statement via Twitter:
Now, we know what you're thinking. This could just be some publicity stunt for the sake of the upcoming Muppets show, for which Miss Piggy shamefully shills in her break up message. Maybe you're right and maybe love is not an impossible concept.
Twitter got cynical. If you can believe it.
i didn't realize Kermit and Miss Piggy were still together— Rosie Gray (@RosieGray) August 4, 2015
Kermit and Miss Piggy were broken up in the presentation made available to the public weeks ago. #NotNews [And they're felt blobs.]— Daniel Fienberg (@TheFienPrint) August 4, 2015
Love is dead. https://t.co/SnmSWavSv2— Chris Cillizza (@TheFix) August 4, 2015
It's just a rough day all around after hearing about Gwen Stefani and Gavin Rossdale filing for divorce after 13 years of marriage. Of course, that is a little sadder since they were, you know, real people.
Jim Henson's original pitch reel for The Muppet Show, starring Leo from Henson's strange series of corporate training videos, The Muppet Meeting Films.
Key selling points:
"Small children will love the cute cuddly characters. Young people will love the fresh innovative comedy. College kids and intellectual eggheads will love the underlying symbolism of everything. Freaky long hair, dirty, cynical hippies will love our freaky long hair, dirty, cynical Muppets."
It's inspirational, celebrational, muppetational!