Buffalo Bills Safety, Jordan Poyer learned a harsh lesson in not f**king around with crazy. His wife decided to release a series of troubling texts between herself, and other 'victims' of internet personality, Summer Rae's psychotic, manipulative games. Poyer and his wife have reportedly since mended things after splitting up last July, amidst the cheating allegations; but DAMN, does Rae sound like one especially crazed individual.
If her goal was to ignite a widespread series of hilarious insults, verbal jabs and jests from the Twitter peanut gallery, then she certainly didn't fail. Eagerly awaiting the follow-up response from Jay Cutler himself, cause at this point it's far too late in the roast sesh to take that shit down. He's destined to be at the butt end of a whole lot of jokes for a long time. Guess it was wishful thinking that he was done throwing bad pics.
To their credit they quite literally threw more wood in the fire, and managed to grow an already impressive display of organized, well-executed trolling. So, thank you to San Diego or wait, I guess Los Angeles. Thank you for keeping us entertained over here with what seems your inability to grasp the cold hard, ever present truth that we're gonna roast the shit out of you for whatever you do at this point.
In case you missed the news, the San Diego Chargers are with San Diego no more, and officially movin onwards to Los Angeles. Best of all in this whole shitshow of a logo rehaul...the team retraced their steps after getting roasted seven ways from Sunday on Twitter. That hasn't stopped other teams from continuing to troll the ever livin' shit out of 'em. Phew.
Now with extra 'Rick and Morty' backlash!
Dank memes are what power our economy more than old men in board rooms clicking buttons and making billions of dollars move from one place to another. They definitely do not get the recognition that they deserve, so hopefully this list will help do just that. If your work day is just never ending, and all you can think of is getting free, these dank memes will definitely have you feeling more fulfilled and ready to take on the challenges of the day. Or it will waste the last 45 minutes until lunch, but either way, you win. But indulge in your darkest desires with these Patrick Star memes all about being a reflection of our evil delights.
These parodies of Colin Kaepernick's Nike advertisement have become so popular there's a name for the meme-ing: NIKEPOSTING. As the meme has matured, content creators are applying it to super specific, and sometimes nostalic, jokes. And you *know* that includes a Loss edit. Read 'em and weep, y'all.
Everyone loves a cute animal. It's practically what the was invented the Internet for. So it should come as no surprise that everyone was losing it for a little squirrel with a big heart who just wanted to play football. That's right, last night during the Colts/Packers game, a squirrel charged onto the field and stole the show. Like in the film Rudy, people were enamored with the little guy's spirit and determination. It was the underdog—excuse me—undersquirrel story of the weekend.
It's almost gridiron time, so bone up on your NFL Trivia with this list of 32 Team Name Origins!
So for REAL fans of REAL football, here ya' go:
"There were 1,700 unique names among the more than 20,000 submitted in a name-the-team contest in 1975, including Skippers, Pioneers, Lumberjacks, and Seagulls. About 150 people suggested Seahawks. A Seattle minor league hockey team and Miami's franchise in the All-America Football Conference both used the nickname in the 1950s. "Our new name suggests aggressiveness, reflects our soaring Northwest heritage, and belongs to no other major league team," Seattle general manager John Thompson said. The Seahawks' helmet design is a stylized head of an osprey, a fish-eating hawk of the Northwest."
Get a cake supporting your favorite team here.
Snoop Dogg, the world's most chill weed advocate, is taking on the NFL's desire to have access to guns in a new Instagram video.
Snoop takes issue with the NFL wanting to give football players access to guns but not access to weed. He successfully argues that football is already a violent profession which lends itself to perpetuating a violent environment amongst the players, and that weed would be a panacea to this problem of violence and allow the players some respite from their aggressive environment.
He even reached out the NFL to offer his services as an advocate to make this change happen:
Do it, Snoop.
If you stepped outside your mid-January, Netflix-addled cave recently you probably heard something about Minnesota Vikings kicker Blair Walsh, and his devastating botched attempt at taking home the W last weekend against the Seattle Seahawks. To put it lightly, it was an unanticipated moment of sheer unfettered insanity.
A 27-yard-attempt miss. Nobody saw that coming. Check out this absurd compilation of fan reactions from both ends of the spectrum:
Anyways following all that madness, a first-grade class wrote a collection of encourage letters to Blair Walsh to cheer the saddened soul up. He responded in pretty much the best and most gracious way possible by visiting the kids today at Northpoint Elementary School in Blaine, Minnesota.
The children passed along advice in their letters like, 'you are handsome,' and 'everyone makes mistakes sometimes. One time I made a mistake when I was doing a cartwheel.'
Cartwheels are tough as fu*k though, so totally understand on that account. Suffice to say, all parties involved were feeling seven kinds of thankful. Keep your head up Walsh!
"For them to show this empathy and kindness towards me is remarkable." - @BlairWalsh3— Minnesota Vikings (@Vikings) January 14, 2016
During an NFL pregame show on WUSA-TV in Washington, DC, Manley employed dumbed-down, reckless judgment on par with a Buffalo Bills tailgater who thought it'd be chill to jump onto a flaming table today.
Manley was speculating on Cam Newton, who might be selected as the first black quarterback ever named NFL MVP. Newton's had 626 rushing yards this season, which is in every sense of the word, 'madness.'
You can pretty much see Manley's co-host bow his head, and die on the spot. Like, wow man.
You're not doing it right dude. Kudos to Buffalo Bills fans though for helping this beer-soaked idiot out.
Buffalo Bills fans this year have been ranked as the NFL's drunkest fans; and it seems like they're hellbent on one-upping the prior game's hysterical, purely irrational antics.
From this gnarly RKO awhile ago:
To this absolute depraved act of moonsaulting debauchery:
Stay safe out there Buffalo Bills fans!
It's a great big old mystery. Granted, Johnny Manziel is out for the rest the season with a concussion. Though, if these reports stack up and the Cleveland kid fresh out of rehab (again) was spotted in Vegas the night before his team's big game, well there's no way to frame that favorably. Dick move all around man.
On the one side we've Johnny Hornaceck, a writer from USA Today, and some sort of Tina Turner impersonator, and a cocktail waitress that all claim they saw Manziel at Planet Hollywood in Vegas. Hmm.
On the competing side, we've a potentially recycled picture of Manziel and his dog back at his home in Ohio.
We're eager to see how this one plays out. Either way, not how you want to start up a Sunday--as the Browns or Manziel.