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19 Insane 'Florida Man' Headlines That'll Make You Wonder WTF Is In Their Water

Florida, why are you like this?

Maybe it is something in the water or in the air, but for some reason, the police in Florida seem to consistently arrest the strangest people, and it always leads to a surreal headline that starts off with Florida Man and then continues to explain what they did this time around, almost as if it is always the same man from Florida.

And this is just the tip of the iceberg. Get lots more Florida Man headlines and let the sunshine flow through you.

Florida man headlines that will make you never want to know anything else about the state | Glasses - Police Say Man With No Hands and No Legs Is Armed and On Run 65,777 18 Gabrielle Bluestone Filed FUGITIVE Yesterday 10:00pm EXPAND Authorities Florida are searching an armed quadruple amputee who's reportedly been on run since Tuesday, hoping question him about his involvement double murder
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Jerry Sandusky niel diamon Not The Onion penn state sweet caroline - 6544388608
By Unknown
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Breaking news for Penn State football fans -- Neil Diamond's "Sweet Caroline" has been banned from the music playlist at Beaver Stadium.

Because the "touching you touching me" lyrics obviously are inappropriate in light of the Jerry Sandusky abuse scandal.

[thanks, slade!]

fox gay marriage Not The Onion obama screengrab - 6210348288
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This is a screengrab from today's Fox Nation story on President Obama's support of gay marriage. It has since been changed to read: "Obama flip flops on gay marriage." Still a fail.

[thestranger]

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marilyn hagerty Not The Onion olive garden olive garden review Photo - 5950178048
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Marilyn Hagerty has been writing the Eatbeat column for North Dakota's Grand Forks Herald for "30 or 40 years," and the 86-year-old journalist is now receiving national attention for her review of the most hotly-anticipated new restaurant to hit Grand Forks in years: The Olive Garden.

In today's column, Hagerty called the chain "the largest and most beautiful restaurant now operating in Grand Forks," praising the Tuscan decor as "impressive" and the alfredo as "comforting on a cold day."

Hagerty's review brought in hundreds of times the traffic of a usual Thursday column, prompting the paper to post a follow-up story about her newfound viral fame.

They explained to readers that "residents of more metropolitan areas found it amusing that a chain restaurant would be reviewed. In larger markets, newspaper reviews are reserved for exclusive, high-end eateries that offer fine dining."

Hagerty said her daughter wanted her to read all the Facebook comments about her review, but "I told her I'm working on my Sunday column and I'm going to play bridge this afternoon, so I don't have time to read all this crap."

The joke may be on the people making fun of Hagerty, though. According to a former editor at the Herald, her seemingly glowing assessment of the Olive Garden was anything but.

"By the way, her regular readers will recognize that as a fairly negative review since she spent a lot more time on the ambience than the food," he said.

[eater / grandforksherald / villagevoice]

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