Guy Roams Midwest Offering Free Ass-Kickings

We're not completely sure what's going, but what's clear here is that @drewtoothpaste is into Ohio and threatening ass kickings. It's dumb, but kinda funny.

guy takes pics in random places and offers to kick people's butts
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Trending Cincinnati Bengals Harambe Change.org Petition
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Harambe, the magical ape who touched our fuzzy hearts now has a petition to name the Cincinnati Bengals after him. I can't think of a better way to kick Tom Brady's ass than by a band of gorillas.

There is already a petition to rename Humboldt Park after him, so we'll see if Cincinnati can get their sh*t together and honor this fine creature of nature.


Election of The Day: If Opal Covey Doesn't Win The Toldeo Mayorship, Destruction Will Follow
Via NBC 24
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Opal Covey has been sent by God to run the city government of Toledo...or else.

The five-time mayoral candidate is running for mayor once again because God told her to, of course.

The self-identified prophetess had a lot to say in a recent interview about her campaign, which is mostly known for wanting to build theme parks in the city.

"Thank you, Jesus," she told NBC24, after speaking in tongues.

"That was a confirmation, if people don't give me what I earned in 2013 back, and I'm not on that seat in November, then you'll see God visit the city in the greatest destruction you've ever seen."

Here's some bonus footage of her speaking in tongues and calling for God's wrath against someone who didn't support her campaign.

Elect Opal Covey, Toledo. For all of our souls.

Two bank robbers get arrested after posting pictures of themselves with the money. Like idiots.
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Bonny and Clyde, they ain't.

A couple of very smart people bragged about their Aug. 24 Asheville, Ohio bank robbery by posting pictures on social media with the wads of cash they took from the bank tellers.

This is obviously not a smart idea.

According to Sostre News:

Police were helped in their investigation by the clear images showing John Mogan and Ashley Duboe hamming it up with their fortune in greenbacks. Four days after the robbery, they began posting photos of their loot, and one friend complained that Mogan " didn't hook a brother up."

Mogan and Duboe were arrested this week for the August 24 robbery. Police say they gave a note to the teller in the Ashville bank, and walked out with a tall stack of bills. He looks nervous on the surveillance video, but in the days after the heist, they both looked gleeful on their Facebook postings.

Apparently, Morgan had just gotten out of state prison for an earlier bank robbery. He put on make up to disguise his face and neck tattoos. But sadly, nothing could disguise his stupidity.

Ohio state football fans walk 19 miles to spell out the state.
Via orweezy
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An Ohio State football fan doesn't need to walk 19 miles to prove their love, but it doesn't hurt.

That's what Redditor orweezy and some friends decided to do. But they didn't do it for the mileage, they did it to spell out the four most important letters to them.

Orweezy told his story Aug. 17.

My coworker friends and thought it would be cool to start off the football season by mapping and walking the Ohio Script this past weekend and using the stadium as the "I" dotting.

...We got like 8 miles into it and thought.... "you know this would have been better if we biked it" It took us 6 and a half hours of walking but we made a few bar stops so from 6:30am through 2:45pm. We were doing a work competition about fitness and the metrics used was time, so we walked everywhere and I think we just carried it over. I would rather bike it next time for sure.

The Ohio State Buckeyes will kick off their season on Sept. 7.

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You can't really see what happens, but you know it's heroic.

That's State Trooper Eric Devers, who leaps over a guardrail to save a truck driver that had crashed off the highway in Miami County, Ohio. According to the video's description:

An officer with the Ohio State Highway Patrol was honored this week for saving a semi-truck driver's life back in April. Dashcam footage just released shows trooper Eric Devers arrive at the scene of a crash and immediately sprint toward the driver. The trooper found the man still belted into his seat. Shortly after, his eyes rolled back into his head and he stopped breathing, the Ohio State Highway Patrol said.

The truck driver apparently had an atrial fibrillation, which is a quivering or irregular heartbeat that caused him to pass out while driving.

And hey! How cool is CPR? You should learn it yourself and become a hero like that guy there.

Certification and education classes are totally available near you.

It only takes a few hours, go ahead and do it.

FOX News reunited the two men during an emotional television segment.

We'll even forgive Devers for saying a pretty worn cliché.

You can pretty much say anything you want while you're saving someone's life.

Nick Lachey wants to legalize pot in ohio and grow it.
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Nick Lachey's days of burning up the charts may be over, but he's not against burning other things.

According to The Cannabist, his next business venture is trying to see if the grass is greener on the other side of legalization.

Ohio resident and former boy band star Nick Lachey is among five investors in one of 10 marijuana grow centers that would be created across the state under a proposed ballot issue.

The ballot issue would limit the growing to specific locations where groups of investors financing the operations own or have the option to buy property.

ResponsibleOhio estimates the initiative would generate about $21.5 million in annual tax revenue for Summit County and its townships and municipalities.

That's not the end of the story for Lachey's marijuana empire and Ohio's legalization. Buzzfeed News is reporting that many opponents exist of the initiative and not just because of its pot content. The amendment sounds like it would keep any future weed business in the hands of a very select few, of which Lachey hopes to be a part.

The proposed constitutional amendment would restrict all commercial growth and extraction of weed to 10 specific farms — farms that are owned and operated by the investors bankrolling the effort to pass the initiative. That means the entire legal marijuana industry in Ohio would be controlled by a group of wealthy businesspeople, or what those opposed to the initiative are calling a monopoly, an oligopoly, or a cartel. The rest of the state would be able to apply for one of the 1,150 licenses for marijuana retail stores and testing labs, but all of the shops would need to buy their pot from a group that currently confers over conference call once a week.
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A feud between two East Sparta, OH, families has gone viral, thanks to home video that captures a father and son bullying 10-year-old Hope Holcomb, who suffers from cerebral palsy.

The video, captured by Hope's grandmother, shows William Bailey and his 9-year-old son mocking Hope's distinctive limp. Bailey claims his limp is due to a work related accident -- still no explanation for Bailey The Younger's limp -- and that the Holcombs have been equally ruthless, teasing his son about his seizures and ADHD.

Nobody is buying the excuses, and no decision has been made on whether charges will be filed, so Mr. Bailey's public shaming will have to suffice for now.