Y'all remember Charles "Neck Guy" McDowell? Of course you do. If you were a big fan of the brutal roasts that ensued from his hilarious mugshot like we were, then get ready for Christopher "Tiny" Taylor, a guy wanted for removing his home confinement anklet and punching a police officer in the face.
Taylor caught the internet's attention after the Mason County Sheriff's Department posted a wanted notice with a photo of him on Facebook. People immediately began to take notice of his teeny tiny stature, which has of course resulted in some epic puns! Scroll down ASAP, because these are just too damn good.
This old lady was so focused on getting her cd that nothing was gonna throw her off. If you thought some yellow tape was gonna stop her, you're in for a surprise. People in retail have to deal with some of the most aggravating people on the planet, so our hats are off to anyone who can keep their composure in situations like these.
Who said Police officers can't have some fun in their daily routine? A guy named Mr. Tatem posted on Imgur few witty and hilarious posts he found on the official facebook page of NSW police in Australia. You'll never think about the police in the same way again.
Is this list of seemingly obvious etiquette for when a cop potentially pulls you over helpful, or just too painfully simple? Maybe the simplest advice can be the most indispensable when life throws you a curveball. We can't vouch for the effectiveness of this "technique" but it might be worth a shot if you find yourself in a tight situation with a cop.
Ladies and Gentleman, we got him.
60 years since first started terrorizing Whoville, robbing them of Christmas, the Grinch has been apprehended in Ithaca, NY of all places.
TIME reports that “Officer Colin Hayward Toland, a 9-year-old honorary member of the Ithaca police force who’s battled brain cancer for most of his life, arrested the Grinch on Tuesday for the crime of ‘stealing Christmas.’”
Because this is America, where everyone has the right to a fair and speedy trial, the Grinch plead not guilty to “stealing Christmas,” in spite Whoville residents’ allegations. Wise and just, Toland, acting as the Grinch's counsel, argued for probation because it's Christmas. The Judge, who's heart must've grown two sizes after hearing a 9-year-old police officer defend the Grinch, struck a plea deal, and the Grinch was sentenced to probation and to spend Christmas with Toland and his family.
Watch below to see justice in action.
There are a thousand ways to say “I love you,” but tricking your partner into thinking your life's in danger probably isn’t one of them.
In a scary example of how common police brutality is in our culture, Daiwon McPherson of Mobile, Alabama used the horrific practice to the same ends as a flash mob, proposing to his girlfriend of five years after pretending to be victimized by police. Nothing says “let’s be together forever” like a traumatizing reminder of the grim realities of life.
McPherson pulled the stunt off with the help of local police, who for some reason were more than happy to stage a scene of police violence in the name of love, drawing real gun on a real person in the name of a real blessed union. There’s nothing quite like watching your partner’s face switch from terror to confusion to relief in the blink of an eye.
The whole event started when McPherson never showed up for dinner and drinks with his girlfriend, when she got a call that he was “he was running from the cops while in possession of a gun,” according to The Daily Dot.
Meanwhile, McPherson had already spoken to police earlier, hoping that the video would go viral “to show an instance of police working with the community for a positive outcome.” Apparently, there are no other positive things police could do for their communities. Maybe, like, a charity car wash or something? Maybe police-hosted picnic? Maybe police talking to people in the community without their guns drawn? I don't know. Just spitballing here.
Of course, this hilarious gag plays on the videos of actual tragedies. As The Daily Dot rightly points out, “In the past three years, many videos involving police altercations with black civilians have gone viral for their depictions of police brutality, including the tragic deaths of Eric Garner, Philando Castile, Alton Sterling, and Tamir Rice.”
Lesson learned: If you're proposing, stick to flash mobs.
Wow! Sometimes a police officer really goes above and beyond the call of duty, and this is no different.
The Sun Sentinal reports that officers in, you guessed it, Fort Lauderdale, Florida, continually slapped parking tickets on the windshield of an Isuzu Axium SUV before deciding to take a look inside. There, maybe six inches from where these officers were placing their tickets, was the car’s driver dead. But who could notice that when you’re writing such important tickets.
Amazing there officers were so committed to their work of handing out parking tickets that they didn’t even have time to look up and see someone dead in the car. Though it is unknown whether the body was there when the tickets first started, it was reported that the Isuzu’s windows were tinted, which might account for the late discovery. Though, that would excuse away how committed to writing tickets these officers were.
The Sun Sentinel reports that an email from the assistant clerk said the city dismissed the $160 in parking fees, "due to extenuating circumstances.”
Just so brave the way they wrote those tickets, didn’t look at the car, and then dismissed them.
Drinking and driving is a dangerous practice that still far too many people do. It’s not surprising. People go out, have a few too many, and either think they’re “cool to drive” or just don’t care. It’s a very serious problem.
And a serious problem needs a serious solution.
In an effort to deter drunk driving, police in Kensington, Prince Edward Island, Canada will be picking the music on the way to jail, and you’re not going to like it.
According to a Facebook post by the Kensington Police Sevice, “When we catch you, and we will catch you, on top of a hefty fine, a criminal charge and a years driving suspension we will also provide you with a bonus gift of playing the offices copy of Nickelback in the cruiser on the way to jail.”
This is how they remind you not to drink and drive, apparently.
“Now, now, no need to thank us, we figure if you are foolish enough to get behind the wheel after drinking then a little Chad Kroeger and the boys is the perfect gift for you.
“So please, lets not ruin a perfectly good unopened copy of Nickelback. You don't drink and drive and we won't make you listen to it.”
Look, no one wants that. This holiday season, avoid Nickleback by getting a designated driver.
“I know who would want to take me home,” and it’s not this Oregonian.
Police responded to a report on November 26, after a woman “allegedly told a man to 'shut up' after he obnoxiously whistled the song 'Closing Time' by the band Semisonic near her driveway.”
No one is immune to the earworm, especially this one-hit wonder, which is probably what drove this woman to involve the police.
Time spoke to Captain Mark Herb of the Forest Grove Police Department:
“It’s not clear if the caller would have been more or less upset if it was a different genre or whether it was just the talent lacking in the whistling,” Herb said.
According to Time:
“While the whistler had moved on by the time police arrived, cops still located him and, according to Herb, he was still whistling ‘Closing Time.’ Police officers spoke to the man who said he was upset that he had been told to shut up. Cops sent him on his way, and according to the notes left by the officer in the police log, ‘he whistled his way back home.’”
When you put cameras out overnight, you shouldn’t be surprised by what turns up — even if you catch Santa Claus on film.
At least that’s what police in Gardner, Kansas found, according to The Daily Mail.
They set up some motion-activated camera to catch mountain lions at night and ended up with photos of Bigfoot, Santa Claus, the Abominable Snowman, and more. While it’s not confirmed as to whether or not Gardner is a hotbed of paranormal activity, the police there did have a good sense of humor about the pictures.
“We would like to sincerely thank the persons responsible as it made our day when we pulled up what we expected to be hundreds of pictures of coyotes, foxes and raccoons,” Gardner Police Department wrote on Facebook.
“Thank you to the citizens who noticed the cameras. Your effort and sense of humor is greatly appreciated as it made our day.”
Check out what else the police uncovered:
Our long national nightmare is over. Police apprehended the air horn terrorist of El Segundo, California on Sunday morning. Citizens of that sleepy, SoCal city have been on edge for the past few weeks as an air horn that sounds like a train has been wreaking havoc on their community.
Police have detained a suspect in connection with the noise, and boy, does he look like someone who likes a good air horn. We’re not talking about the air horn you here when some serious good times are about to go down. We’re talking about a good, old fashioned annoying honk from someone with a crazy hair cut and unkempt facial hair.
NBC Los Angeles reports on the ups and downs of the police investigation into the noise:
“Police have received numerous reports of an extremely loud air horn going off before residents spot a getaway car, a blue four-door sedan driven by a man.”
“Oftentimes, officers couldn't catch the air horn blower because the person would blare the horn and then ‘beat feet,’ police said. At times, officers on the east side of town could hear the noise and would hurry over, only to find that the perpetrator had taken off.”
"He's been doing this for weeks, and we've been chasing him for weeks — but we got him," El Segundo Police Lt. Ray Garcia said. Now imagine Garcia saying this while popping on a pair of aviator sunglasses and dusting off his hands. So cool.
This game of cat and mouse didn’t end with the apprehension because they still had this fantastic mugshot to take, and wow, move over, Nick Nolte, this one’s a keeper.
Hey, if you’re going to steal a cop car, why not share the experience with your friends?
Police arrested John Pinney, a Tulsa resident, who stole a cop car and streamed the joyride on Facebook Live on Monday night. Pinney's friends and followers got to join in the fun of stealing a patrol car, engaging in a high-speed police chase, and singing along to the radio without the added stress of breaking the law.
Oklahoma's News on 6 reports that Pinney simply walked up to the unlocked patrol car, opened the door, and took off.
News On 6 continues, "Tulsa police sergeant Steve Stoltz said a woman called 911 and told the dispatcher a man got into a police car near 5th and Denver, asked if she wanted a ride, then drove off when she said no."
Presumably, when this woman declined to be Pinney's audience, he turned to the officer's iPad, where he logged onto Facebook and proceeded to bring officers and followers on a 30-to-40-minute, 120-mile-per-hour car chase.
Stoltz "Liked" Pinney's approach to expediting police procedure, though.
"I would encourage every criminal out there to Facebook Live their crimes so that we can catch you a lot easier," said Stoltz. "Use that Facebook Live at your trial to get a better conviction."
According to News on 6, Pinney was arrested "on nine complaints, including eluding, resisting arrest, and possession of a firearm by a felon." Thanks to Facebook Live, we’ll be able to relieve these crimes over and over again.
Just a quick update on all those Facebook check-ins in North Dakota yesterday. As it turns out, the Morton County Sheriff's Department says that it is not looking at check-ins to verify protesters of the Dakota Access Pipeline.
The Morton County Sheriff's Department took to Facebook and said:
Yesterday, thousands of Facebook users "checked in" at Standing Rock Indian reservation in Cannon Ball, ND in hopes of confusing police and showing support for the activists.
Despite the validity of the original post, The LA Times says, "Some Native American activists still welcomed the check-ins as another form of showing support for the months-long protest against the Dakota Access Pipeline, proposed to run past tribal land on its route between North Dakota and Illinois."