One night stands are a little like Russian roulette. When they're good, you get all the benefits without any further obligation. But when they're bad...they're really, really bad. These horror stories are a reminder to be careful before flirting with that mysterious stranger. You might get more than you bargained for.
poop
This is Molly's story as told by jaderbug12 on Imgur.
There’s a lot of upsides to owning a dog: Unconditional love and support, constant cuddling, a catch partner. But there’s one big downside, and then you have to pick up that downside.
Which brings us to this, the best holiday gift, maybe, ever devised. Yeah, that’s right, get lost, Tickle Me Elmo.
The Piqapoo clip attaches to a small, disposable bag to your dog’s tail. Then, when your dog needs to go, they can make it happen directly into the bag. No bending, no dirty sidewalks, just one sad dog with a bag attached to its tail.
Needless to say, Twitter is lining up to get one. Check out what people are saying:
Via The Local
Swedish fashion brand Acne Studios has launched a new emoji-inspired collection, including a sweater with poo on it.
According to its official description, it is supposed to be a "brown swirl of mousse". Well, we are not fooled, it is the poo emoji!
If you are in the mood for the poo emoji sweater, it comes with a hefty price. Items in the collection vary from 120 to 400 euro...
Via FoodBeast
Made with a fondant, edible black marker, and named The Number Two, you too can eat sh*t a poop emoji churro at The Naughty Churro if you're in the LA-area.
The delicious concoction can be found at their pop up shop in the Night Market from August 5-7. Seriously, how transfixing is this?
Definitely serving this one at my next family reunion.
Via thewrap
Production assistants who worked on blockbuster films such as 'The Wolf of Wall Street' and 'Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles' who were in charge of parking are now suing Paramount Pictures and other associated production companies.
The suit claims that they were not allowed to leave their assigned locations, which led them to start keeping "bottles and buckets" in their vehicles for any inevitable bathroom breaks.
On top of that, they claim that in cold weather they had to leave their cars running continuously but were never compensated for it. And they had to work 60-100 hours a week regularly while being paid a flat rate of $150 a day without overtime. They were also not given food on set during their 12-hour-on-average days.
The suit is an attempt by the PAs to get compensation for such poor working conditions.
Via VICE
The global nutrient pump's clogged and we're to blame.
In a recent paper, an international team of scientists proposed the human race went and mucked up the natural redistribution and recycling processes of the world's nutrient supplies. Due to the extinction of many species, and the endangerment of even more, we currently deal with a worldwide sh*t-fueled nutrient production system that operates at 6% capacity.
We can't guess how severe such a low operating capacity imposes at this point, but we can all agree this is some bulls*it.
Can't we just let the far-roaming animals fu*king roam?
But the good news here is we'll probably create some new nature preserves, and maybe restore some cloned mammoths.
Fu*king mammoths.
Via The Smoking Gun
This whole situation just really stinks.
A New Jersey man is facing charges after wiping a police summons "between his butt cheeks" and throwing it at an officer.
The 45-year-old man is reportedly facing a felony for purposely causing the officer to come in contact with bodily fluids during the incident this summer.
The indictment alleges that the man threw the summons in the direction of the officer after "placing it between his butt cheeks" and "wiping the paper in an upward and downward motion."
Dang, Jersey man. You're giving Florida man a run for his money.
Via Kotaku
A Sanrio pop-up cafe in Hong Kong has something peculiar on the menu.
The yellow dim sum desert causing a stir is based on the Sanrio character Gudetama, a sleepy egg yolk dude.
If the fact that the desert is an anthropomorphic egg yolk with a big butt isn't enough, it also does something when you poke a hole in its bum with a chopstick.
Look at this little cutie.
Yup, this is a pooping pastry.
And it also vomits custard.
That's all, yolks.
Via Urijah Faber
This one really stinks.
UFC star Urijah Faber had a very eventful party after a woman stormed into his house, locked herself in his bathroom and pooped everywhere.
Faber was entertaining guests at his Sacramento home where he captured the entire event on Snapchat. The police eventually showed up and escorted the very stinky woman away.
If there was one good thing from this tale, it was this: Faber made some new friends.
Via Gizmodo
As October's shadow loomed long on September, we knew Burger King would bring a black-bunned burger to celebrate the creepy season.
What we didn't know is that eating the thing would turn your poop a vibrant, verdant, lustrous green. Careful there, that link shows actual human waste.
Furthermore, we didn't know why. We only had to hold ourselves against the dark ignorance that blanketed us.
People had lots of speculation, from A-1 sauce to demonic leprechauns, but it was Gizmodo that ultimately revealed the truth.
But while the poop is indisputably green, the dye causing it might not be. The dyes that make the bun black are a combination of Yellow #6, Red #40, Caramel Color, and Blue #1. Blue #1 is also known as Brilliant Blue FCF. Brilliant Blue doesn't absorb well in the intestines, so it often comes out in the poop—it just doesn't come out blue. The internet is full of concerned parents talking about giving their kids a purple drink or smoothie (made with red and blue food coloring) only to change green diapers or find green stains on underwear. Brilliant blue is often combined with tartrazine, a yellow food dye, to make green dye. A site called The Poop Report claims that blue food dye (Blue #5 this time) combines with bile to make poop green, although bile by itself can turn poop green.
In the end, the green product of the black burger is probably the result of blue food coloring. The good news is that it's coming out of you because it's not getting absorbed into your body.
Now we can sleep soundly and try to eat stuff that's not cosmetically dyed to celebrate a time of year.
