Via Cracked #6
Want to vent that anger for longer than 10 minutes? Well, then maybe communism is not right for you.
More Weird Ways Governments Are Handling The Crisis via Cracked
russia
Kellyanne Conway opened herself up to some serious photoshop ridicule during her Wednesday FOX news appearance. To squash the belief that Donald Trump Jr. had colluded with Russia, Conway held up two pieces of paper reading "Conclusion? Collusion" and "Illusion, Delusion."
While the flashcards haven't been particularly successful at disproving anything, they do make a fantastic meme template. In the words of Adam Downer, associate editor at Know Your Meme, "He who holdeth a white sign shall become a meme for a time." Take note, Kellyanne.
That pic posted with the story is of Russian Rubles
Trying to sell your apartment could be quite challenging, mainly because supply is usually surpassing demand. Who could be asked for help in this situation? Alexander Kainov from Chelyabinsk, Russia, decided to address the legendary moviemaker, Quentin Tarantino, who came to a visit in Moscow this month. When Kainov saw his extreme popularity, he decided to use the exploding number of memes on the Russian internet, added them to photos of his flat and published the result. As you can imagine, his advert became very popular.
In the immortal words of Limp Bizkit: “Give me something to break.”
Because you know, somedays you just don’t wake up, and that’s why Moscow resident Alexei Barinskiy started a business that let’s you break stuff.
For a fee, Barinskiy will allow you to enter Debosh (“Debauch” in English), a service that allows customers to enter a space where they can break whatever they want for as low as $140.
Fans of the cult Adult Swim series Delocated surely remember this from that episode where Jon develops a business, “Rage Cage,” which is “way more relaxing than yoga.” Barinskiy does not cite this as an influence, which is a shame.
Developed when Barinskiy had the common problem of hating his co-worker and having a lot of junk to give away, he rented out an industrial space and turned it into a garage sale for charity. But what to do with the leftover stuff?
Barinskiy decided to let people just destroy it. For $140, Barinskiy will fill up a room with junk and let people destroy it. You can even customize the design of the room.
“The cost depends on how elaborately the room is designed,” writes The Washington Post. “A popular choice is a replica of the office where the customers work.”
The Washington Post even reports that Barinskiy even built a room specifically so the reporter could take out some frustration over the presidential election.
It was a replica of a polling place, complete with a ballot box and red-white-and-blue posters marked with slogans used by Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton. With Moscow so interested in the election result that the Obama administration accused the Kremlin of meddling in the vote, Russians were bombarded with often-skewed coverage of the campaign by the state-run media.
“We enjoyed the American election,” Barinskiy said as he and an employee, Alan Tigiev, lifted their sledgehammers menacingly. “Maybe too much.”
We all did.
Via AP
If Russia is ever Under Seige, well, let’s just say Putin’s got a friend who is Above the Law,Out for Justice, and Hard to Kill
We’re talking of course about Steven Seagal, the direct-to-DVD, neck-snappin’ superstar, who President Vladimir Putin, in an Executive Decision, just awarded Russian citizenship to. Looks like Putin’s got some backup if he’s ever On Deadly Ground.
Seagal and Putin have never been too far Out of Reach, as their friendship has had a Code of Honor for years, with Seagal escorting Putin to martial arts expos around the world.
The NY Daily News reports that in the past, Seagal has called Putin the “greatest leader alive today.”*
"He cares more about Russia than anybody I know," said Seagal. "And he's not afraid to get up and do what needs to be done."
Seagal isn’t the first celebrity to be named a Russian citizen. Gerard Depardieu and Roy Jones, Jr. are there with him, feeling the Fire Down Below in the Belly of the Beast.
Uh… Marked for Death. Under Siege 2: Dark Territory.
Via Sokolovsky!
This August Ruslan Sokolovsky recorded himself while playing Pokémon GO inside Church of All Saints in Yekaterinburg, after having been made aware such activity within the church could result in jail time...
“How can one offend by entering a church with a smartphone?” Sokolovsky asked. “I decided to just catch some Pokemon in church because, why not? I believe it’s both safe and not prohibited by law. Let’s go.”
Well, fast forward to after Sokolovsky posted the video he was investigated by police, and shortly thereafter charged with inciting hatred and offending religious sensibilities. He's being detained for two months, and stands to face up to five years in jail.
What do you guys think, does the punishment fit the crime here?
Via NY Daily News
Photoshopped, or is this young business lady just unobservant as fu*k?
Either this Russian business lady photoshopped the sh*t out of this for the sake of a few (hundred) likes on her Facebook feed, or she actually flashed this selfie with an alien breathing down her neck.
Maybe this is why we haven't discovered proof of extraterrestrial life; the potential 'alien' in question sits right behind someone, and that person's too busy popping off selfies to notice some life defining, groundbreaking business.Viktor Lunev, commenting on behalf of a Russian aero-centre, said: 'Pilots and stewards are very superstitious and maybe there is a reason.' Yeah, or maybe this is real life, and the invasion's right round the corner Lunev.
Of course, maybe the poor galactic conquistador was just trying to commute to work in peace; who are we to stir up a feverish fuss about it?
Via Geor Geor
Good guy Steven Tyler is at it again.
This time in Moscow, the Aerosmith frontman approached a street musician and started singing 'I Don't Want To Miss A Thing.' The song is obviously familiar to Tyler, since it was his first number one hit.
Back in 2014, the musician surprised some street musicians in Lithuania by joining them in an accordion rendition of his song 'Crazy.'
It seems like his antics in Moscow are paying off. Over 10,000 people were estimated to be at his show.
Via Pasha Bumchik
Wanna see something really, really stupid?
Ukrainian YouTuber and daredevil Pasha Bumchik uploaded some pretty awesome (idiotic) footage of himself jumping on top of a train and riding it around town.
The video shows Bumchik hopping a fence covered in razor-wire and hiding from a security guard before jumping on the train as it begins to move forward.
He then runs down the length of the train, jumping over each car.
The footage is pretty cool, but the kid is taking a huge risk in the name of a YouTube video.
He also has a very punchable face.
Via Nevex.TV
Remember when we told you about Russia running over foreign cheese with steamrollers? Well, patriots are taking that same level of nutritional nationalism to the supermarkets.
One patriot in particular, musician Stas Barestky, joined some Cossacks in a media stunt and entered a supermarket in St. Petersburg to destroy foreign made food.
Barestky knows how to destroy stuff.
The video is a little long, so here is one of the key action scenes.
Barestky's music is hard to locate because we don't read Russian too well, but here's a song put to edits of Gollum from Lord of the Rings, for some reason.
The music and the video that goes along with it might elude us culturally, but if there's one thing we can all agree on loving, it's biting things in half.
Via BBC
One year ago today, Russian officials responded to western sanctions by declaring they would ban foreign imports on many foods, including cheese.
Well Aug. 6, the BBC says they began keeping that promise by destroying a great deal of food.
One steamroller took an hour to crush nine tonnes of cheese. The country has also steamrollered fruit and burnt a huge pile of bacon.
Boxes of bacon have been incinerated. Peaches and tomatoes were also due to be crushed by tractors.
The destruction has caused an outcry from anti-poverty campaigners who say it should have been given to the poor.
Just watch as literally tons of cheese gets bulldozed behind this reporter:
More bulldozers. Bulldoze the cheese!
If you're wondering why so much footage exists of this destroyed cheese, it's because Vladimir Putin demands it, according to The Guardian.
President Vladimir Putin signed the decree ordering the destruction of food which breaches sanctions last week, with the law due to come into force officially on Thursday. The products must be destroyed in front of witnesses, and the act should be captured on video, to preclude corruption.
Via iii7666
Russia’s war on twerking rages on, as yet another group of women find themselves in trouble with the law after shaking their booties.
In the music video above, six women are dancing at the Malaya Zemlya WWII memorial in Novorossiysk, and now several of them are dancing in jail.
“We condemn these women,” said a rep for the local education department. “Every inch of this land is covered in blood. It is inappropriate.”
Margarita Radetskaya, the 18-year-old leader of the dance group, was sentenced to 15 days of administrative arrest as punishment for “petty hooliganism,” according to The Guardian. Two of the other women will be jailed for 10-days while another two were fined.The sixth girl was underage, so her parents are being punished instead for “failing to take measures to facilitate children’s physical, intellectual, psychological, spiritual and moral growth.”
The twerking video was reportedly intended as a promotion for dancehall classes at a nearby studio called Art Dance, but it is unclear why they chose the WWII memorial as their backdrop.
“In the course of the inquiry, an assessment will be given to how the authorities complied with the laws on preservation of cultural heritage monuments, on education and moral upbringing of young people, and to how law enforcement authorities maintained public order,” said prosecutors, according to The Washington Post.
Another dance studio also recently came under fire after a video emerged of girls in bee costumers twerking on stage with a weird looking “Winnie-the-Pooh” holding a pot of honey.
May marks the 70th anniversary of Russia’s defeat of the Nazis, and the Victory Day festivities are not likely going to involve any sort of celebratory twerking.
