santa

Via ODN
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Listen up, drug dealers, if you sell your garbage on these streets, consider yourself on the naughty list.

That’s right, Santa Claus is coming to town, and this time, it’s personal.

via South Park

This year, Santa’s got a whole new bag because anti-drug units in Peru are dressing like Father Christmas, perhaps so they can gain entry into any house without a warrant via the chimney. However, Ol’ Saint Nick wasn’t so jolly after a brief stop in Peru, where he raided a suspected drug house, apprehending four individuals who wish they were getting coal this Christmas.

So next time you’re thinking about breaking the law, remember, he’s always watching.

via Toons Artie

new santa cam replaces elf on a shelf this christmas
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Move over, Elf on a Shelf, because Santa Claus is coming to town.

You'll be seeing some new, futuristic modes of surveillance this Christmas, as two new Santa Cameras hit the shelves. Meant to scare children into behaving, these new Claus-monitoring systems aim to replace the Elf on the Shelf as the premiere Santa surveillance hardware.

Created by Emmiroo’s Photography & Gifts, the Santa Camera looks like a security camera you'd see in a store, however, this supposedly has a direct line to the big man himself, who presumably sits in a room surrounded by television screens as a opposed to doing his job. This leads to an important question: Is Santa Claus' magic bound to the technology available at the time, or has he always had these security cams and chose not to use them.

Santa is bringing some next level fear and intimidation this holiday season. The Cam even comes with a cryptic note written by Kris Kringle, indicating that he’s got “keep a very close eye on you all.” We don't know what Santa thinks we did, but whatever it is, we're sorry.

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In addition to the physical camera, Santa Cam ornaments are also set to appear on Christmas trees this holiday season.

 

via @8infinitedesign

It’s only a matter of time before a whistleblower leaks the wide range of intel Santa’s collecting in the North Pole, Snowden style.

Check out The Huffington Post for more on the terrifying future we now live in.

via GIPHY

little boy receives block of wood instead of ps4
Via UPI
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Nine-year-old Scott Lundy was so excited to receive a PS4 this christmas until he opened the box and found a wooden replica of the system placed there by thieves. To add insult to injury, they included a "crude drawing of male genitals" (missed opportunity for a dickbutt) on the wood and a message that said "from cock and balls with love."



Scott's parents were able to return the console to Target and get a replacement, but Scott's faith in Santa Claus is shaken. I guess Call of Duty: Black Ops III and The Uncharted Collection will be there to carry him through this difficult time.

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Yorkdale's Fashion Santa is Killing It This Season

A merry mix between Zoolander and Santa, Yorkdale Shopping Center in Toronto, Ontario has employed the most fashion-foward Santa any mall Santa could hope to be. See how this new Saint Nick is nailing Holiday cheer, with merry modeling poses, hot holiday fashion tips, and festive selfies with everyone (including Justin Bieber).

fashion christmas list justin bieber social media santa mall santa - 704261
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news-crazy-runaway-reindeer-nottingham
Via Mashable
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Hide yo kids, hide wives, hide yo husbands, and definitely hide yo grandmas. The only way we could make this very real life story of a reindeer running amok through the tea-soaked streets of a temporarily improper Nottingham, is if Arnold Shwarzznegger reprised his role from Jingle All The Way, to catch the runaway reindeer.

Somebody must've slipped something in Bjorn the reindeer's eggnog Sunday, because he went buckwild.

"I was putting some Christmas cards up in the window and just saw it come charging down the street," local resident Gemma Green told the Nottingham Post. "Then I saw a group of people following it.

"It was quite strange. It's like the scene from Arthur Christmas where Santa loses his reindeer. I thought I was seeing things at first." Maybe she was, but heck if that's a way to spur some Christmas spirit.

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In a West Virginia Walmart, this little girl spotted Santa and stopped to have a chat. He's clearly trying to get some shopping done under cover but with that white beard and a red shirt, he was found out immediately.  

But is he the REAL Santa? He knows exactly how to respond to this little girl, plus he has a real beard.  There's really no proof that he's not Santa. If he encountered Will Ferrel, he'd probably pass for Santa. 

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These Guys Have Taken a Funny Photo With Santa Every Year Since 2006

One day in 2006 these guys decided it would be funny to take a photo with Santa. This started a tradition and they started dressing up as a theme that fits each year. The best part about this is that it's clearly the same Santa. That's dedication.

christmas list santa funny - 702725
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There's a new Santa in town, and this guy prefers to sit in your lap.

Yes, it seems Buddy the Elf's been promoted. Will Ferrel showed up at Jimmy Fallon on Wednesday night looking like the unaborted lovechild of a Backstreet Boy and Mrs. Clause. Ferrel went on to drag out a fratastic dialogue, all the while clad in an all too revealing Christmas-themed cutoff that'd impress the likes of fashion titan Mugatu.

So make sure to be good this year, because we don't even want to know what happens to the dudes on the naughty list.

Case Claused.

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A man in Fayette County, Pennsylvania is protesting the commercialization of Christmas by hanging Santa from his front porch, but this story isn't about him.



A local news station interviewed residents of Farmington about the man's sacrificial Santa, and a woman named Barbara Carpenter gave the reporter a piece of her mind:

"I thought it was great. People need to stop blowing smoke up their kids' ass. They need to be taught the truth from young on: life sucks, deal with it. It's all about the money, and these businesses getting the money. People don't care that they have to scrape. If I'm buying gifts, I'm making somebody else richer, I'm going further in the ditch."

Bless you, Barbara Carpenter. Apparently the protestor has taken his Santa down, saying that he didn't mean to offend anybody, but hopefully he hears that at least one neighbor had his back.

united airlines christmas fantasy flights brings sick kids to north pole
Via United
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For the 22nd year in a row, United Airlines is putting on a special "Fantasy Flights" program that flies ill children to the "North Pole" to meet Santa. This year, more than 5,000 children and their families get to go on a special plane ride to a makeshift North Pole to meet good ol' Saint Nick before his big night. 



"The kids really bring home the Spirit of Christmas for me. When I look into their eyes as they're chatting with Santa, it's often difficult to keep the tears from rolling down my face,” says Customer Service Rep and Fantasy Flights Santa David Tomb. “Sometimes they share a very personal thought or a wish that gives me just a hint of what their lives are like, what they're going through and what they're feeling at Christmas time. I'm just grateful that I can bring a little bit of joy into their lives."

little girl signs with santa
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When Santa Claus visited Middlesbrough's Cleveland Centre, he found one little girl who wasn't able to tell him what she wanted for Christmas. The girl's mother apologized, explaining that "she isn't able to speak very well." Saint Nick asked if the girl was albe to sign, and went on to have a heart-warming conversation with her in sign language. Even if you can't read what they're saying, the girl's joy is plain to see.



Now that's the spirit of Christmas!

christmas santa autism Mall Santa Shows Us What Christmas is Really About by Laying on the Floor to Talk to a Boy With Autism
Via USA Today
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In an event for Autism Speaks a very 'Caring Santa' spent time bonding with kids who have autism.  Events with a lot of people like the typical mall Santa meet and greet can be especially hard for children with autism. In this event, kids make appointments to avoid waiting in crowded lines. The Santa at this event makes sure to spend as much time is needed to interact with the kids.

This particular Santa in Charlotte, N.C. went the extra mile by laying on the ground just to connect with a nervous little boy. You can see more photos and the full story in the video below:

Via bunews
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Note: "Spoiler Alert" should come BEFORE you actually spoil something.

Comedian Kitty Flanagan made that mistake by stating that Santa doesn't exist multiple times during a 6:30pm broadcast of Channel 10's "The Project" in Australia.

"Oh sorry — spoiler alert," she said. "If you have kids in the room, you should probably have covered their ears and gone 'la, la, la!' or something."

Sure, maybe not that many young kids who still believe in Santa are watching the evening news, but enough were to cause a whole slew of complaints online from angry parents.

The show then apologized on air and even had "Santa" on the show for an interview about gearing up for Christmas.

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Whether you want to admit it or not, everybody poops - including Santa Claus - but that doesn't mean we need a visual.

In their latest viral ad, toilet spray maker Poo-Pourri imagines Christmas Eve in the worst way possible, with Santa on the John and his bathroom odor waking up three young British girls.

Poo puns aplenty here.