stories

Sometimes, it's not you who adopts the cat, it's the cat who adopts you. 

Here are a handful of stories in which cats decided to take matters into their own paws and get that forever home by force. And most of the time, it totally works. I mean, who can resist a cat that has decided you are their human? That's pretty freakin' special if you ask us. 

Cheers to all those who were adopted by stray animals! 

As an adult, you have to deal with some pretty disappointing garbage, but for some reason the real stuff that keeps you up at night, seething with rage, is the thought that in 4th grade you got pinned with calling another kid a butthead when in fact it was actually Dylan. We all just have stuff we're still salty about.

When a relationship sours between the two wrong people, almost nothing can stop the tide of vengeful petty BS that they're capable of putting each other through. Even when it's not over a divorce, people can get amazingly petty for the sake of revenge. It's not surprise that lawyers get some interesting stories out of disputes between people.

Walmart is a dangerous, dangerous place, and one must never venture there alone or there won't be back-up evidence for the strange sightings you will see. Be cautious. 

Most of the times, a story can be told in a quarter of the words that are used. That's why greentext stories are so great: they're the modern form of story-telling for busy people who have a whole day of interweb scrolling to attend to. We rounded up the fifteen best greentext stories of all time from Reddit, so you don't have to spend precious time searching for them. You're welcome. 

Can't say all of these will work for you, or that some are even safe enough to be advisable, but here's some ideas to get you going in the right direction. Also if you do the seagull one you're a bastard. If you want to become feared by strangers and hated by your friends, then check out these things you can do to mess with people's minds.

Ah, Uber. The revolutionary mode of transportation is a popular app used by millennials everywhere, and as expected, filled with funny and wild stories, which are mostly told from the passengers POV ... but what about the drivers? They hear everything. All day long. And here are some of the funniest things they've shared with the rest of the world:

If you came here to here about brothers who fart on you, sisters who also fart on you, loud grandpa sneezes and abysmally terrific dad jokes, then you came to the right place. It's kinda wholesome, but also kind of realistically stupid and gross. If you're in it for the puns, here are some of tumblr's most punishingly dad-tastic jokes.

We are crying here...

Having roommates is one thing, but if your walls are thin enough, you may find yourself living with more people than you expected. In this situation, you have to learn to live with hearing the successes, failures, arguments and farts of everyone in your building. You may even share a moment with complete strangers.

Some people grow out of it, some don't. Children are stupid idiots. Sure, they're just learning everything about the world for the first time, but hot damn are they dumb as rocks for a while there. We were dumb too. We're still dumb, but we can do long division and drive, so that's pretty good.