the daily show

Ah, the yule log, is there anything better to cozy up to on a cold wintry night?

Not even a real fireplace could compare. After all, there’s no way to change the channel on a fireplace. 

Well, I’ll give you this: One of the great things about a real fireplace is that you can actually burn something in it. Whether it’s a false ledger you use to evade your taxes, your medical records, or a written confession to a crime, nothing purifies you body and soul like a nice, cleansing fire.

via Mashable

So in the spirit of giving you something to burn, the folks over at The Daily Show have given you the next best thing: A burning constitution over Christmas carols and the dulcet tones of that reality TV gameshow host who won the presidency last month delivering some of his famous catchphrases, like “we’re going to be saying ‘Merry Christmas’ again” and “bing bing bong bong.” Five-hours of Christmas cheer. Oh, it feels great to say that again: "Christmas." Remember when saying “Christmas” was punishable by death?

So put your arm around that special someone, take a sip of cocoa, and get ready for 2017 because, hoo, boy, it’s going to be a lot worse than this piece of garbage year.

via Lerrah

H/T Huffington Post

Tomi Lahren, the hyper-conservative host of Tomi on The Blaze, who you might recognize from the Facebook posts of that dude you went to high school with, visited Trevor Noah on The Daily Show last night, and it went pretty much as expected. Lahren, in her typical hot-headed way, clinged tightly to her platform as she wrestled with a relaxed Trevor Noah over such issues as Black Lives Matter, Colin Kaepernick, immigration, and, of course, that billionaire reality-TV game show host that won the presidency last month.

These segments are basically set up to be viral eviscerations, and this one is no different. Tomi generally feels like she’s on the defense, especially when she says things like “I don’t see color” and “Donald Trump is reasonable.” Final thoughts: This is an awkward half hour that will likely dominate your social media feeds for the next 24 hours.

So prepare to tug your collar because here’s Tomi Lahren on The Daily Show looking for a leg to stand on.

via GIPHY

President-Elect Donald Trump, the billionaire reality-TV gameshow host who won the presidency in November, is a busy guy. Between tweeting that citizens should be jailed for exercising free speech and trying on new hats, he’s also a wheelin’ and dealin’ business man.

Over the past few weeks, you might have heard something about a few of Trump’s “conflicts of interest,” i.e. he’s not supposed to be doing Trump business stuff while he’s doing Trump president stuff because the constitution. When it comes to things like this, it can be hard to follow due to the fact that business is boring. Thankfully, we have The Daily Show with Trevor Noah, who put together this awesome segment explaining Trump’s conflicts of interest.

Check it out and enjoy the next four years, America!

Last night, Jon Stewart hosted his final turn on The Daily Show, marking an end to the 16-year run that turned the nightly satire into a cultural force.

The evening began with a regular report on the GOP debate from earlier in the night, then turned into a revolving door of big names and old friends. They thanked Stewart for his work, gave some advice and made him cry. Much feels.

Vox recapped much of the proceedings:

Fittingly, then, the "star-studded" portion of the evening was right at the top. Beginning with three of the show's current correspondents — Jessica Williams, Hasan Minhaj, and Jordan Klepper — claiming to be on the ground covering the night's Republican debate, the segment grew and grew, until it encompassed essentially every major voice in the show's history, dipping all the way back to figures like Mo Rocca and Vance DeGeneres, from Stewart's very early days, and even working in original Daily Show host Craig Kilborn. It was like the alt-comedy version of This Is Your Life. There was even time for a visit from Stewart's biggest targets.

But the biggest moments were for Oliver and Colbert. The former, now on HBO, gently mocked his old boss for continuing to work within the constraints of basic cable, pretending to have no idea what commercials were. The latter made Stewart tear up, first with an elaborate analogy where Colbert was Sam and Stewart Frodo Baggins, then with a heartfelt speech about how much Stewart had meant to all of them.

All those correspondents had one final story on which to report — a group hug.

Can you feel the fake news love?



Stewart finished the night with an endearing entreaty, imploring everyone to beware the staggering amount of bullsh*t that sits around the world.

My rough transcript of Jon Stewart's extraordinary "bullsh*t is everywhere" speech. pic.twitter.com/guXBbIDD9g

— Dave Itzkoff (@ditzkoff) August 7, 2015

There was one more final thing that had to happen: Born to Run, performed by Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band.

We've known it's been coming for months now, but it's hard to get ready for the end of an era.

Tonight Jon Stewart will come out from behind the desk of The Daily Show and leave the program to his replacement Trevor Noah.

The past couple months have seen remembrance after remembrance, but there's no more putting it off. It's happening.

The final show tonight remains much of a mystery, although there are rumblings that politicians like Sen. John McCain and Sen. Chuck Schumer will make an appearance.

But before he takes that final bow, Stewart wanted to look back at his 16 years of success on the penultimate show last night with his new segment called: "The Daily Show: Destroyer of Worlds".

"What the f*** is going on here?!" Stewart screamed while banging on his desk. "The world is demonstrably worse than when I started. Have I caused this?"

"Hath my efforts all be for naught? As I shuffle off this basic cable coil, must I discover my years of evisceration have bettered nothing? Sixteen years of barbs and jeers spurred none to greatness."

It will be a little bit harder to swallow the bitter pill that is the world without Stewart's sugar coated cynicism to embody the rage we feel night after night. But somehow, we will move forward. <

Jon Stewart is just as disturbed as you are about the Eric Garner decision.

Following the announcement that a grand jury would not indict the police officer who put unarmed Garner in a chokehold resulting in his death, people across the country expressed shock and disbelief. Many taking to Twitter with the hashtag #ICantBreathe

In New York, swarms of protesters blocked major roads and intersections, tried to shut down the Rockefeller tree lighting, and held "die ins" at various parts of the city including Grand Central Station.

And since the news broke before the taping of "The Daily Show" on Wednesday, Jon Stewart had an opportunity to chime in. But don't expect much humor from him here.

"I don't know," said Stewart. "I honestly don't know what to say."

"Barack, I want you to draw me like one of your French girls."

For the rest of the 15 Funniest Presidential Election Graphics From The Daily Show, click here.

When it comes to Lady Parts Expert Todd Akin and reproductive rights, The Daily Show co-founder Lizz Winstead has had enough --  her new (and totally Not Safe For Work) PSA warns us: "If you don't wanna get f--ked this November, vote."

Jon Stewart's first day back on The Daily Show after the events of September 11, 2001. Even if you've seen it before, it's worth watching again.

Thank you, Jon.

[thehighdefinite]