Vladimir Putin

It's the day after Christmas and you're in bed mentally backpedaling through the various hoops and turns, and vocal explosions of yesterday's wine-soaked conversation. The food coma was unparalleled. Then someone committed the emboldened atrocity that is name-dropping Donald Trump in a perfectly sane and reasonably mannered conversation.

Like, excuse me?. To put it lightly you got pissed. It's alright. Trump happens. Make amends with an annual Vladimir Putin calendar. You could say he's showing us his soft side.

The calendar features various shots of Putin; from topless fishing, to the man caught amidst sweaty bouts of exercise; everyone's in for a wide-eyed smile with this one.

Do you even lift bro?

Ah, you're Putin me on with this one.

For his Oct. 7 birthday, the President of the Russian Federation strapped on his skates and took to the ice like a tyrannical zamboni. Vladamir Putin played against NHL stars in Socci and scored a whopping seven goals, leading his team to a 15-10 victory.

So impressive.

Mashable has more details:

The event kicked off the fifth season of Russia's Night Hockey League, and saw Putin playing alongside international hockey legends like Pavel Bure and Vladimir Lutchenko. His team took home victory, beating their opponents 15 to 10.

The opposing team included Defense Minister Sergei Shoigu as well as Putin's close friends — tycoons Gennady Timchenko and Arkady Rotenberg. Both were slapped with Western sanctions last year for their ties to Putin in the wake of Russia's annexation of Crimea.

But Putin was undoubtedly the star of the show, and event went home with a trophy for his team's win at the end and a medal for his contribution to hockey in Russia.

There's no reason at all to question Putin's ability to score seven goals playing against hockey legends.

He's just that good.



This isn't the first time, he's shown such amazing prowess in three periods of play. Just last May, Putin bested his birthday score, by putting eight pucks into the net.

Truly the world of hockey is missing out on a player that would eclipse the great Gretzky.

Here's the highlight reel from Wednesday's game.

One year ago today, Russian officials responded to western sanctions by declaring they would ban foreign imports on many foods, including cheese.

Well Aug. 6, the BBC says they began keeping that promise by destroying a great deal of food.

One steamroller took an hour to crush nine tonnes of cheese. The country has also steamrollered fruit and burnt a huge pile of bacon.

Boxes of bacon have been incinerated. Peaches and tomatoes were also due to be crushed by tractors.

The destruction has caused an outcry from anti-poverty campaigners who say it should have been given to the poor.

Just watch as literally tons of cheese gets bulldozed behind this reporter:

More bulldozers. Bulldoze the cheese!



If you're wondering why so much footage exists of this destroyed cheese, it's because Vladimir Putin demands it, according to The Guardian.

President Vladimir Putin signed the decree ordering the destruction of food which breaches sanctions last week, with the law due to come into force officially on Thursday. The products must be destroyed in front of witnesses, and the act should be captured on video, to preclude corruption.

Chelsea Handler repeatedly posted a topless photo of herself riding a horse to Instagram Thursday night, mimicking the classic shirtless Vladimir Putin shot.

But Instagram, citing its Community Guidelines, repeatedly removed the photo.

Needless to say, she was not happy, accusing Instagram of sexism.

"Taking this down is sexist. I have every right to prove I have a better body than Putin." She wrote on her account.

So who wore it better? Handler or Putin?