Listen, we appreciate that our advanced technologies have allowed us to transport wine in inventive ways and charge our phones from the couch. We even appreciate the simple bathtub tray for allowing us to watch a movie or read while soaking in a hot tub. But apparently their marketing teams are pretty clueless as to what people actually do in the tub. As Twitter user @doodlyroses pointed out in this thread, not only do bath tray manufacturers believe that only women take baths, they believe that they eat gigantic charcuterie boards while relaxing - and drink enough in the tub to pass out. The photos are ridiculous, and verge on sexist, but we think they'll provide you with a good laugh. Which is rare these days.
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The astronauts up at the International Space Station are getting it all: cookies, radiation vests, and now, a cask of red wine. Unfortunately, the wine isn't for drinking: a French startup (of course it's French) called Space Cargo Unlimited wanted to see how wine ages differently in space. The wine will be sent back to Earth in a year, when experts will be able to taste the space (or not) in the red wine. Maybe space-aged wine will become a delicacy. What's next? Space cookies?
Via SpiralCellars
The only thing better than owning a wine cellar is having a wine cellar that makes you feel like a James Bond villain.
SpiralCellars offer just that advantage. These underground cellars are capable of storing 1,900 bottles and at least one international man of mystery.
via xxxdarkheartedboixxx's channel
Earlier today, Mashable posted a video of these modern marvels. You don't even need a secret layer housed in the side of a mountain or something. You can install them in your house, and they’re completely hidden or encased by a circular glassdoor. Both offer their own kind of Bond villain-esque experience.
Made from a circular concrete, each cellar takes about nine days to install and is climate controlled. That means it keeps your wine or super spy in perfect hibernation, before you decide what you want to do with them.
Check out the video below and think about what this can do for your whole fight against her majesty’s secret service.
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Via @iliketweet
While most people in their 20s want credit for acting even remotely like adults, one woman has gone above and beyond what’s asked of someone being a grown up.
After ordering a new refrigerator, Clare decided to risk life and water filter by turning her fridge into a wine dispenser. All it took was a bottle of wine and the cold water filter in her fridge. Simply tilt the bottle into the water dispenser and out comes wine. Life hacks made easy.
My adult life just peaked pic.twitter.com/jU70YQL7VE
— Clare (@iliketweet) December 11, 2016
It takes a proud adult to risk ruining a brand-new fridge with a move like this, so we commend you, Clare. However, perhaps sensing the immense power at their finger tips, Clare and her boyfriend switched the filter back to water. They told Buzzfeed that their fridge and filter is fine, but what about the copycats? What of the poor filters that will be inevitably be ruined due to the sugary content of wine. Those tubes are going to be sticky for generations.
Via Lost At E Minor
Thanksgiving’s coming up, and that’s not fun for anyone. You have to visit these people you didn’t even choose to be associated with, eat the driest bird, and hopefully not get into a fight with the people who raised and clothed you.
Wouldn’t it be great to get away to place where your cup is never empty.
Why not check out Abruzzo, Italy? Last month, the village installed a brand new wine fountain that flows with the red stuff that you crave 24/7. Yes, you read correctly, a fountain that pours red wine all day, everyday. It’s all you can drink brunch all the time. You can even check out the remains of Jesus’ disciple Thomas while there. Try not to cry.
The fountain is open now. Check it out.
So, let’s see: you can drink free wine, see some really old remains, and avoid a family argument? Seems like a no brainer.
Wine loving cat ladies everywhere just had their wildest dreams come true! Apollo Peak has come up with a delicious wine recipe for cats. It's made with catnip, water, and beet juice for color. You can choose from Pinot Meow or MosCATo, because obviously cats should be able to decide if they're a red or white wine feline. Yes, your cat can now drink wine. What a time to be alive!
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Starbucks in Japan is introducing their first cocktail to "Starbucks Evenings" a special menu that some Starbucks stores have that provides beer, wine and fancy snacks after four PM. 
via @37sanap
This new frozen drink is called the 'Wine Fraggino'. It's basically a Frappucino but instead of coffee (or anything else besides the ice...), it uses blueberry wine from Hokkaido.
Via TitussBurgess
It's the moment you've all been waiting for, Tituss Burgess has released his own brand of pinot noir. If you've been searching for the perfect drink to go with your caviar, just hop in your mid-sized car and go pick up some Pino by Tituss.
It even has it's own theme song.
Unfortunately it's not this one:
Via CBS Miami
Brought to you fresh and fried out of Lecanto, Florida, The Citrus County Sheriff's Office arrested a woman on shoplifting and drug paraphernalia charges. She was apprehended amidst a shopping cart fueled joyride out of hell.
The woman's been identified as Josseleen Elida Lopez, 25. Lopez was held after scarfing down $32.36 worth of food and wine. She told the authorities she's homeless.
If you're going to hit rock bottom, at least eat some chicken, and wash it down with some wine right? In all seriousness we wish Lopez the best on her road to recovery. Deputies disclosed to the press that they found two empty syringes after arresting Lopez, which she claims she used to inject crystal meth.
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Via Food Beast
New Tinder strategy: just act like you're an inanimate object.
It seems to be working pretty well for this guy.
Sean Fahmy over at Food Beast decided to sign up for Tinder posing as a glass of red wine. As everyone knows, chicks "OMGLOVELOVE" red wine.
The results were pretty hilarious...
We tip our glass to you, sir.
By Unknown
LEGO + Wine = WINO?
Order your interlocking, stackable life-enhancers today. Make a fort out of your empties. Fort Kickass.
[foodbeast]
