Ok get ready for it internet. The zombie snail is back. After bursting onto the viral internet scene back in 2012, when National Geographic posted a video about the species. 2 years later, Wired did an article 2 years later on the natural phenomenon, dubbing these gastropods "Disco Zombies". They have taken the internet by storm, with Twitter blowing up with #nope hashtags after seeing the creepy crawly creature.
A Florida man was found biting off pieces of a man's face in Martin County, Florida. Apparently, he fatally stabbed a couple before biting off their faces, as you do normally in social situations if you live in Florida.
The explanations seem pretty reasonable to me...
...but there's always this one:
Florida: my favorite state for crazy f*ckers.
Pet Cemetery is real.
Eric Schmidt posted the most fascinating story to Twitter this week, in which his family mourns the loss of their cat and its reappearance all in the same day.
Kitty, a 7-year-old pastel Calico, was missing from the family home in Indiana overnight and Dad had to tell everyone the bad news.
They found Kitty and had to bury her. Or did they really?
That's right, they buried the wrong cat, er um, rabbit.
Kitty is fine. And she's probably off somewhere laughing maniacally at her dumb humans
The Addams family doesn't live in Ohio, but maybe a distant relative does?
This ghoulish family is causing quite a stir in their town with some very realistic Halloween yard decorations, including: an upside-down cross with cadaver, a mummified corpse hanging from a tree and a dead person on a spike.
To top it all off, the display is located just across the street from an elementary school.
In other Ohio news, a Halloween decoration turned out to be the corpse of a mutilated woman.
(closes computer, bangs head on desk)
A UPS driver who makes regular deliveries to a nursing home recently stopped off per his usual routine and discovers quite a different scene. The depiction on his Youtube channel describes it best:
So I drive for UPS and I get to this nursing hospital that I literally deliver to every day. There are no cars outside, no signs of life at all. The door is open so I walk in and there isn't a soul there. No patients, workers, nothing. The lights are on and there is stuff scattered like it's been raided during the apocalypse. It was very creepy walking in.
What do you think about all of this? Is it a setup?
In light of an explosion of news stories about cannibalism over the past week, the Centers for Disease Control have issued a statement reassuring us that zombies are not real, and we can go about our business without fear of a zombie apocalypse. People eating each other's body parts due to the effects of synthetic drugs, on the other hand ...
The CDC told the Huffington Post that "CDC does not know of a virus or condition that would reanimate the dead (or one that would present zombie-like symptoms)."
Well, that's reassuring, coming from the same agency that has a detailed webpage about zombie apocalypse preparedness.
If anyone needs me, I'll be in my bunker.