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If you thought former Subway spokesperson and admitted child predator Jared Fogle couldn't get any more punchable, you'd be very wrong.

Fogle, who pled guilty to child pornography charges and crossing states lines to have sex with minors, can be seen in this unearthed video making fun of other alleged predators on To Catch a Predator.

The clips comes from a VH1 series, I Love The New Millennium, where actors and comedians comment on pop culture. Fogle can be seen at around 1:50 mocking would-be child predators.

"These guys continue to fall for it every single time. There must be, like, a hundred million episodes of this show, and these guys still come out," he says.

OK, Jared. (rage throws keyboard across room)

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It's not easy to make Simon Cowell cry. The man has made a career judging singing shows with his harsh and blunt persona.

But one contestant on The X Factor UK did the unthinkable—he got Cowell to shed a tear at his beautiful rendition of Labrinth's Jealous.

Contestant Josh Daniel dedicated the song to his best friend who had recently died. And his passionate, emotional performance was just too much for the stone-hearted Cowell to take.

Let those tears flow, Simon. Just let it go.

Beetus of the Day: Get The Pumpkin Spice Latte Before Anyone Else With This Code Word
Via: Starbucks
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It's "Pumpkin." That's the password.

Get it? Eh, eh?

In case you didn't understand, Starbucks put together this cute image for you to remember it by. Starbucks—what would we ever do without you?

All kidding aside, if you are #basiq and want to try the pumpkin spice latte before everyone else—go here.

Just enter the super secret password we mentioned above and Starbucks will text a special PSL pass to your phone.

Then you can take your sugary treat, wrap up in your Snuggie and sweat to death on your couch because it is still basically summer. You could also try this at the Starbucks counter...

Forever Alone of the Day: Man Celebrates Bachelor Party Solo After Everyone Else's Flights Get Cancelled
Via: rwchernow
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Robbie Chernow flew from New York to Chicago to celebrate his friend's bachelor party, except no one else showed up. It's just Robbie. All alone. By himself.

What was supposed to be a fun-filled time with the buds turned into a sad, strange Instagram series.

Everyone else's flights got canceled, but Robbie wasn't going to let that stop him from enjoying a stay in the Windy City. This was HIS day now.

To document his solo experience, Robbie started using the hashtag #ChicagoForOne and posting awkward photos at Chicago landmarks.

Check out his beautiful, lonely journey below...

Minnesota Uses 'Dramatic Chipmunk' Against TCU Kickers
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People say that college football is boring and doesn't have enough #drama. Well, those people clearly didn't watch the Minnesota vs TCU game last night.

The Minnesota Golden Gophers opened up their season by taking some extreme measures to make sure they came out on top against the No. 2-ranked Horned Frogs.

What was the team's secret? This very dramatic chipmunk.

Minnesota broadcast this classic meme on the jumbotron in an attempt to distract the TCU kicker during field goals.

Alas, Minnesota tried their sneaky chipmunk trick, but TCU ultimately came out on top with a 23-17 win.

Next game, Doge. Much football.

Pornhub Is Offering A $25,000 Scholarship
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Adult films have been putting students through college for years. But not quite in this way.

Pornhub, the fap destination for millions of students everywhere, is offering a $25,000 college scholarship . And all you have to do is answer this one simple question: How do you strive to make others happy?

Along with an essay, applicants must have a GPA of 3.2 or higher, be 18+, attend an accredited post-secondary institution and create a 2-5 minute video that elaborates on their application.

Yay, education!

Woman Posts Engagement Photos With Life-Size Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle Balloon Leonardo
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Turtle love is bodacious, dude!

That's what Jenn Kaminski, a self-described "unemployed creative" in LA, wants you to know. She's found true love, which just happens to be in the shape of a life-size Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Leonardo balloon.

The happy couple posted their announcement on Facebook this week in a set of hilarious engagement photos.

"Me and my bae decided to take a couple's photo shoot today. I think we look great," Kaminski wrote.

With the help of three of her friends, Kaminski was able to capture these precious moments forever. But why did they go through all of this trouble?

"We simply had a birthday balloon, an overabundance of free time and too many engagement photos in our Newsfeeds," they wrote.

Best wishes on your impending nuptials, Jenn and Leonardo. May your life be filled with years and years of pizza!

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That song you're singing—it doesn't mean what you think it means.

Pretty much every 90's kid has heard 'Macarena.' The song was played at schools, backyard BBQs and even churches. But that just goes to show you that our parents were blissfully unaware of what the lyrics were actually speaking about.

Infidelity, threesomes—'Macarena' has it all.

Watch the video above and learn the true meaning of the lyrics. And prepare your childhood memories to be tainted forever.

Good Boy of the Day: Tom Hardy Took His Dog To The Premiere Of 'Legend'
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Tom Hardy's dog Woody is the real star.

After arriving on the red carpet at London's Leicester Square for the premiere of his film Legend, Tom showed off his best bud—an adorable mutt named Woody.

The star was also joined by his wife Charlotte Riley, who is expecting a child. But all eyes were on Woody.

The lovable pooch even took his chance in the spotlight to show off his bird-chasing skills. Just how long until Woody makes an appearance in one of Hardy's epic dub smashes? The public needs to know.

Haircut of the Day: Rogue Australian Sheep Gets 90 Pounds Of Fleece Removed
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There's nothing like an new haircut to put a pep in your step.

But this Australian sheep is probably feeling a little better than with the average haircut. And that's because he is also 90 pounds lighter.

A Canberra sheep named Chris was recently captured by animal welfare workers after getting lost from his herd for more than two years. It seems that during this time he really let himself go.

Chris' fleece was sheered off Thursday by four-time national shearing champion Ian Elkins, and it weighed in at around 90 pounds, easily topping the previous record.

Fleece this large can cause serious health problems, said RSPCA ACT chief executive Tammy Ven Dange.

"It can actually make it impossible for them to go to the bathroom. We don't know how bad the damage could be because this has been building for awhile," she said.

Chris is reportedly in good health, and will likely join a local herd to live out the rest of his (lighter) days.

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