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Ugh of the Day: Matt Lauer Wears Choker on Today and That’s It For Me Have a Great Year, Everybody

2016 was terrible for a lot of reasons, and while we had hopes for 2017, four days in, they are no more.

Matt Lauer wore a choker on the Today Show.

If you’re overcome with religious or spiritual shock. Please remain calm.

Allow me to say it again. Matt Lauer wore a choker on the Today Show. It’s a crushing blow to humankind. Thankfully, we’re all here to get through this national crisis together, Matt Lauer wearing a choker.

Tonight, when you get home, hold your kids a little tighter, tell your parents and loved one that you love them, for who knows what nightmares tomorrow will bring.

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tweet shows gap accepts return from 17 years ago
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Save your receipts because if you don’t like something the Gap will accept your return, apparently.

This Gap employee accepted a return from almost 17 years ago, and trust us, this manager is nothing happy about it. Still, the red shirt-vest combo looks pretty dope.

via GIPHY

 

The worst part of all, the manager can’t figure out which one of his disrespectful employees returned the garb, so they had to post this sad letter to the wall.

Sigh.

When will you kids learn to follow protocol?!?

five grossest thing we use everyday
Via LinkedIn
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Take a seat because that toilet isn’t nearly as disgusting as the hand towel.

TIME magazine talked to Charles Gerba, a professor of microbiology at the University of Arizona, to get the dirty truth about what’s the grosses thing in the bathroom. Turns out, you’re probably touching them in hopes of getting cleaner. But you’re wrong. Dead wrong. Nothing is safe. Germs everywhere.

via Looopism


According to Gerba, the top five grosses things are:

  1. Bathroom Towel because bacteria grows in moist conditions, especially in things that, like, never get washed.
  2. Toothbrush Holder — Again, because you never clean that thing.
  3. Kitchen Sponge — There’s a reason you don’t like touching that thing and it’s because it’s filled with bacteria. You want something you can wash, like a brush.
  4. Cellphones — You probably already knew this because Japan is putting those smart phone wipes in bathrooms.
  5. Supermarket Carts — I can’t even read this quote from Gerba — too scary— so you have to: “Almost 100% of them are home to E. coli because people are constantly touching the handles after holding raw food products.”

You can read more about the millions of tiny things that’ll make you sick and kill you over at TIME, but I don’t see why you’d want to. The germs are everywhere. We’re all doomed.

via Gif Bay

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Apparently the answer is a resounding “No.”

Billy Eichner, the screaming, yelling, hollering host of Billy on the Street, hit his normal beat this week with John Oliver of HBO’s Last Week Tonight. As per Eichner’s thing, he wants to deflate the star of whoever is on the show with him. Sometimes it’s telling people that Seth Rogen is dead when Rogen is standing right next to him, and this time it was asking gay people if they care about John Oliver.

via Previously.TV

Accosting people on the street and asking them if they're gay and if they "care about John Oliver, Billy gets to the heart of one of the most pressing questions of the modern age: "Do gay people care about John Oliver?"The answer, for the most part, is still no. But one thing Eichner does discover: Many gay people love Wendy Williams.

via sseureki

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Discovery of the Day: Man Finds Mosaic of Mandy Moore in His New Apartment Shower

via @walkerkaplan

New York City apartment: $1.2 million

Finding a Mandy Moore mosaic in the bathroom: Priceless.

Scott recently bought an apartment in Queens and found a beautiful mosaic in the bathroom. It turns out, however, that the mosaic isn’t just any old thing. It’s of Mandy Moore, popstar.

There’s not much to this story, except mystery. How long has this mosaic been there? Perhaps placed by the ancient ones? Why was it put there? What’s it trying to tell us? Not even Mandy Moore knows.

Twitter is trying to get to the bottom of this.

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As Eminem once said, “You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow because opportunity knocks once in a lifetime.”

That’s how the son of Kansas Rep. Roger Marshall felt during a quick photo op at his father’s swearing in ceremony. As House Speaker Paul Ryan turned and smiled for the camera, Marshall’s son went for a quick, inconspicuous, and heroic dab.

That’s when Ryan, perhaps, smelling dissent in the air turned and shut it down, like so many public healthcare initiatives.



via CNN

Ryan asks the young man, “Are you going to sneeze?”

The boy, having just taken his only opportunity to embarrass his father, future self, and the guy who’s only dream is to have 100% privatized healthcare, put his hand down for the picture. The people, once again, have been crushed.

Aftermath:

Paul Ryan admits that he’s totally out of touch with young voters:

Rep. Marshall jails his son for something that’s clearly protected by the First Amendment:

Keep fighting.

 

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Roast of the Day: Wendy’s Twitter Account is Destroying People Left and Right — Yes, That Wendy’s

via GIPHY

What is happening on Wendy’s twitter?

After destroying a dude so badly the other day that he quit twitter, the Twitter feed of a fast-food restaurant known for something called the “Baconator” has been roasting all comers.

Wendy’s seems like it’s tired of playing third fiddle to McDonald’s and Burger King and is trying to establish place as the resident bad girl of the fast-food game. Their time has come. They will no longer be known for their square burgers. While the other guys might fry their food, we know Wendy’s is the only place to get roasted.

Check it out:

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