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Sitcom Plot of the Day: A Texan Judge Orders a Man to Marry His Girlfriend or Go to Jail

A man had to marry his 19-year-old girlfriend or go to jail.

Via KLTV

Fondue of the Day: Russia Destroys Foreign Cheese Because Russia

Russia destroys a lot of cheese because of western sanctions.

Via BBC

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Gaffe of the Day: Hungry Internet Vultures Descend on Rick Perry's 'Ronald Raven'

Rick Perry accidentally says "Ronald Raven", the Internet reacts accordingly.

Via pbs

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Live Tweeting of the Day: Patton Oswalt Gave a Better Performance than any Candidate at the GOP Debate

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420 Degrees of the Day: Nick Lachey Wants to Legalize and Grow Pot in Ohio

Nick Lachey wants to legalize pot in ohio and grow it.

Via The Cannabist

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Retirement of the Day: Every Daily Show Correspondent Wishes #JonVoyage to Jon Stewart

Jon stewart says goodbye to the Daily Show in a big way.

Via Vox

Father of the Day: Dad Gets a Cochlear Implant Tattoo to Match His Daughter's Real One

Father

Via Alistair Campbell

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Ridicule of the Day: The Internet Rightfully Mocks Time Magazine's VR Cover

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Remake of the Day: One, Two, Freddy's Coming for You (Again)

Now Nightmare on Elm Street is getting remade.

Via Tracking Board

Send Off of the Day: Jon Stewart Will Host His Last Daily Show Tonight

Jon Stewarts reign of the Daily Show ends tonight

Via The Guardian

Child's Play of the Day: Man Gets Arrested for Giving Wet Willy to a 4-Year-Old

This creep gave a wet willy to a stranger's four-year-old.

Via WWLP

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Whoopsie of the Day: Bounty Hunters Accidentally Raid a Police Chief's House

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Via AZ Central

White People of the Day: Whole Foods Sold a Jar of Water with Three Asparagus Stalks in It for $6

Whole foods sold a jar of asparagus water for $6.

Via Eater

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Trainer of the Day: This Expert Thinks Ronda Rousey Has Some Sloppy Moves and Wants to Help Her

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Ogre of the Day: Chris Farley's Original Voice Acting for Shrek Leaks to the World

Chris Farely's vocal work on Shrek bubbles to the Internet's surface.

Via Bedhead Bernie

Feels of the Day: Macklemore Returns with a Song About His New Daughter and Ed Sheeran

Macklemore releases his newest single, Growing Up with Ed Sheeran

Via Macklemore & Ryan Lewis

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