drunk

Florida Man took the night off from causing mayhem, and Florida Woman took his place.

Whitney Beall, a 23-year-old woman, was arrested this weekend for drunk driving after using the mobile app Periscope to live-stream her entire ride.

"I'm super drunk, I don't even know how to explain it," she says to start the 11-minute broadcast below. The entire broadcast lasted over 40 minutes.

With tips from viewers and one officer using their own Periscope account to spot landmarks, police were able to safely stop Beall.

"Officers advised that they smelled the odor of an alcoholic beverage emanating from Beall, her speech was slow; her eyes were bloodshot and glossy," a Lakeland PD Facebook post said.

It seems Florida Woman got the attention she wanted. And luckily no one was hurt.

It's ok, veggies. If you're drunk, it doesn't count.

A new study by money-saving website Voucher Code Pro found that a full third of self-described vegetarians cheat after they've been drinking.

According to The Telegraph:

One in three have also said they eat meat every time they were drunk on a night out with kebab meat and beef burgers being the most common.

Around 39 per cent said they ate kebab meat when they were under the influence, while 34 per cent said they opted for beef burgers.

Twenty-seven per cent of 'vegetarians' said they ate bacon, with 19 per cent devouring fried chicken and 14 per cent eating pork sausages.

But 69 per cent of vegetarians said they did not tell anyone after they had eaten meat.

The study questioned 1,789 people in the United Kingdom who considered themselves vegetarian.

What no one seems to be asking is why a coupon website decided to branch out into conducting diet research. Did they have a secret vendetta to uncover their suspicions about them cheating vegetarians?

Regardless, now you have some semi-scientific ammo if the vegetarians in your life get preachy.

This kid deserves all the bad things life can give him.

He also needs to learn how to handle his liquor and/or his lack of macaroni and cheese.

Luke Gatti, AKA All That's Wrong with the World, was refused service for being a drunken, 19-year-old a**hat Oct. 5. But he didn't walk away there. Terrible people like him never do.

He proceeds to get very, very into the face of the cafeteria manager, the cook and anyone of authority as he consistently yells and whinges about how much he wants mac and cheese and how low are those who refuse to give it to him.

Things get bad before the chef steps in and wrestles the little bastard to the ground.

It's an emotional journey.

Here's the surprise twist that's not a surprise at all:

This is far from his first run-in with the law, Only in Amherst:

Arrested two weeks ago on Phillips Street for disorderly conduct (which included calling a detective the N-word), this time around Mr. Gatti seemed to go out of his way to get arrested yet again on that same notorious street, and when taken back to the police station, assaulted an officer.

With his father looking on, Luke Gatti was arraigned this morning before Judge John Payne who set bail at $250, taken out of the $1,000 bail posted over the weekend to get out of jail.

Noting the arrest only two weeks ago Judge Payne said to Gatti, "I'm a little concerned you're going to pull a trifecta before the month is over."

Welp, maybe this time they'll actually put him in jail for a while.

Here's hoping!

Look, maybe Jessica Simpson was just having a grand old time selling clothing to home-bound fashion hounds. So much so that she slurred her way through promoting jeans like a blacked out 20-year-old demanding that they're find to drive.

There are many aspersions and judgements that we can pass around about the notably strange display above, but we're not going to go there.

We'll let the Internet do it for us.

Jessica Simpson is drunk on HSN right now! Is anyone else seeing this? #JessicaOnHSN

— Biega (@TheGoGoGhoul) September 18, 2015

She is beyond wasted right now, right? Right!!??!! #jessicaonhsn

— The Nev (@NevSays) September 18, 2015

Want an adventure: #JessicaonHSN - I'm going to say Jessica Simpson is D-RUNK. And now, wasn't watching until I was alerted to it. WOW.

— Sabina Hitchen (@SabinaKnows) September 18, 2015

She keeps saying "autumnal" and stares to see if she used it correctly. #JessicaOnHSN

— Kevin (@KevyCoCo) September 18, 2015

Thanks for playing the bad cop for us, Internet. We'll just sit here remaining impassive and nonjudgemental.

We'll also link the TMZ story where HSN and Simpson's people swear that she was, in fact, not drunk.

Because they'd totally cop to it if she was.

Kids, just don't drink and email. It's as simple as that.

You would surely not be lucky as lucky as Patrick Davidson here. He went out for a night and had more than a few drinks it seemed. Then, he decided the best thing to do was to acknowledge how hungover he would be to his teacher and ask for an extension on a paper.

Antsped shared the (hopefully real) email on Imgur. It is beautiful.





Where it really gets good is Mr. Martin's response, which is thoughtful, funny and kind enough to actually grant poor Mr. Davidson that extension he so deserves.







Now, even though everything looks like it worked out for the best, students should really take heed and not email their teachers while drunk.

Or, actually, you know what? Yeah, go ahead and do it! We'll have more gems like this in our life and most will surely not end half as well.

Good yard, everyone.

You know you get thirsty from all that yoga you do, so why not rehydrate with a nice frosty beer?

That's what the über yoga clothing store Lululemon wants you to do anyway.

According to the apparel giant's Instagram account, the beer will come to the Seawheeze Half Marathon, which is apparently something that happens in Vancouver.

They're calling it the 'Curiosity Lager' and, according to the New York Daily News want it to be seen as a craft beer.

Canadian yoga retailer Lululemon has teamed up with Vancouver's Stanley Park Brewing to launch a limited-edition craft beer called Curiosity Lager, made with chinook and lemon drop hops for a "crisp, cold beer."

The limited edition beer — only 88,000 cans will be produced — will be served at the 2015 SeaWheeze Sunset Festival and Half Marathon in August in Vancouver and line liquor store shelves across Canada later this month.

Drunk yoga is something most of us are familiar with.



We may refer to it as something different.



But Lululemon probably just wants to standardize the whole thing.

This whole thing seems just like something to get dudes more interested in yoga, like when they unveiled their "Anti Ball-Crushing" Pants, which "gives you and the family jewels room to breathe."

Luckily for you, there's cheap, probably better, beer all around us!

Guarding endangered sea turtle nests doesn't sound like it would require a gun, but one guy in Florida thought it necessary.

New York Daily News reported that 72-year-old Stanley Pannaman was just minding his own business July 18, volunteering for an organization who protect sea turtle habitats until the little eggs hatch and the turtles find their way into the sea.

The Tamarac resident, who grew up in Queens and raised his family in Bay Shore, Long Island before retiring to Florida in 2001, volunteers for a local group that sits by sea turtle nests on the beach and ensures they are not disturbed until the tiny baby turtles hatch and go to the ocean.

The nests are surrounded with sticks and tape and Pannaman makes sure no person or animal hurts the sea creatures. When they are born the tiny turtles may be drawn to the light from nearby cars or homes, so Pannaman will pick them up and bring them to the water.

That is until Michael Q. McAuliffe came along and ruined the night.

McAuliffe, who was very drunk, got close to the protected habitat and in the volunteer's face about his dislike of "turtle people". He jumped on Pannaman and took the Vietnam veterans gun away. McAuliffe then shot the elderly man in the abdomen where the bullet lodged in his derriere.

The police came, arrested McAuliffe and sent Pannaman to the hospital who was then released July 19.

Despite being shot with his own wedding, the Florida has no regrets.

Pannaman said he doesn't regret bring the gun and is just happy he didn't bring his normal Taurus .357 Magnum that would have caused him greater injuries.

"I figured I was going to the beach, I figured I could just carry the .32 caliber pistol," he said.

Thankfully, all the sea turtles are fine and nary a bobcat was seen near the nest.

From WFTV:

An intoxicated New Smyrna Beach man wanted Taco Bell, but employees wouldn't serve him because he was on a bicycle in the drive-through lane, authorities said.

They called New Smyrna Beach police when Gabriel Harris, 33, refused to leave after placing an order at the drive-through window as the restaurant was closing just after 3 a.m. on Sunday.

His is the human condition, the struggle we all face. Bless you, drunk-munchies cyclist guy.

WARNING: Language and one perpetually drunk/high/hungover person in this video.

Warning, these gentlemen use some strong language, but remember they just really f*ing love their cats.

Disclaimer: Drunken profanity.