Michael Moore was arrested last month after speeding late after midnight. Moore was given a breathalyzer test and registered blood alcohol content readings of 0.104 and 0.103. The legal limit in Florida is 0.08.
The arrest affidavit states, "He also told me that his wife told him that he (had) been drinking too much so he decided to go out and 'drive it off.'"
In today's news from the "oh my god we're all going to die" department, hoards of rhesus macaque monkeys carrying the Herpes are on the loose in Florida, according to the state's wildlife officials. First discovered in 1932, Herpes-B is one of the few known non-human varieties widely considered to be a deadly health threat to humans, with more than two dozen deaths linked to infections and the majority population of the 700 primates captured in the past decade having tested positive for the virus.
Florida courts continue to show a bass-akward way of dispensing justice -- 31-year-old Marissa Alexander has been sentenced to a 20-year bid for firing "a warning shot" to her husband, who was attacking her during a 2010 incident. Rep. Corrine Brown said the failure of the Stand Your Ground act is based on race:
How many times have they accepted Stand Your Ground if the person that was asking for it was black? You tell me.
Alexander next will appeal the court's decision, with Brown's aid.
Weston, FL, has banned nightclubs, dance halls, and skating rinks (really?) in an effort to curb violence, thus propagating the stereotype that it's mostly the elderly who live in Florida. Fortunately, the city has agreed to allow school dances to occur, so kids will have an outlet to fist pump and dance poorly to Skrillex and Drake. John Lithgow or Kevin Bacon could not be reached for comment because they were presumably too busy face palming and shaking their heads.