Most humans with senses of humor can appreciate a good dad joke. They'll either make you laugh or roll your eyes - both reactions are strangely satisfying. Dad expert and Twitter personality @thedad has been dropping tweets that exemplify sh*t Dads say, and the rest of the social media site decided to follow in kind. The results will leave you feeling personally attacked whether or not you're an actual father.
It's a tradition that the older generations have to hate on the younger generations for absolutely any reason they can think of. Doesn't matter what for, because it was just "better back in the day," in their logic.
Self-described "recovering academic" Jenny Bann pulled up some hilariously enlightening historical records of the behavioral problems exhibited by 18th century male students in Scotland.
Let's just say they're...less than wholesome and make Millennials look angelic in comparison.
This 21-year-old recounts a truly traumatizing experience where they ended up "ratting out" their mom for cheating on their dad who was on away on military stuff. Apparently the guy staying with his cheating mom was claiming to play a role of "protector" while their dad was away. Talk about swinging low, man. That's just terrible.
Some people grow out of it, some don't. Children are stupid idiots. Sure, they're just learning everything about the world for the first time, but hot damn are they dumb as rocks for a while there. We were dumb too. We're still dumb, but we can do long division and drive, so that's pretty good.
Amazing things happen when you give kids a task that requires some amount of cultural context, such as labeling popular memes. Obviously, kids can't possibly know all of the pop culture references that, say, a Millennial knows.
We've gotta say that these versions might be even better than anything that most of us adults could come up with.
Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to buy all the stuff on your Amazon Wish List that you didn’t get for the holidays. Security? Thumb-Print Verification. Tools? Your sleeping mother’s thumb.
Sorry, Ethan Hunt. This mission belongs to 6-year-old Ashlynd Howell.
In a piece about how online shopping is killing Christmas shopping from The Wall Street Journal, the paper breezed over a tidbit about future world-leader Ashlynd Howell, writing:
"While Bethany Howell napped on the couch last week, her daughter Ashlynd, 6 years old, used her mother’s thumb to unlock her phone and open the Amazon app. “$250 later, she has shopped for all her Christmas presents on Amazon,” said Ms. Howell, of Little Rock, Ark."
Surprisingly, The Wall Street Journal buried the lead on a story that was probably written in 1997 because online shopping is killing the holidays and not this:
Anyway, Ashlynd made the most of her shopping spree, purchasing 13 Pokémon or Pokémon-related items. She was, reportedly, “really proud of herself.”
It can be hard to find a good therapist, so sometimes you just have to take what you can get. In New York City, look no farther than the subway.
Taking a page right out of Peanuts, this 11-year-old is offering emotional advice in a Brooklyn, NY subway station for $2 a pop. Ciro Ortiz, a 6th grader from Brooklyn, might not have the qualifications to offer therapy, but that hasn’t stopped him from stop him from laying out some hard truths, like telling this dude who’s bummed that his girlfriend is vegan to “deal with it.”
According to the New York Post, Ciro has brings in about $50 on a good day, and that’s with office hours between 12pm and 2pm. Imagine if he expanded. That’s not likely to happen, though. Ciro, who hates school, has plans to become a video-game developer.
Wise beyond his years, the Post got a little advice of their own from Ciro.
The most common problem he’s seen, Ciro said, is adults having trouble dealing with change.
“They feel a certain way in the past and when they look [back] in hindsight, they say things were so much better back then,” he said.
His advice? “We have to accept [change]. It’s going to happen — it’s always going to happen. Life is always changing.”
The display of Nick from Zootopia had only been up for an hour at the LEGO Expo in Ningbo, China before a chinese boy decided to push it over.
Zhao, the artist who spent three days piecing together the Zootopia figure, said he was heartbroken but declined compensation. Noting that the child had not meant to destroy LEGO Nick.
All in all, the life size LEGO figurine is estimated to cost more than 100,000 yuan ($15,170).
John Boyega went to visit a small Star Wars fan at the Royal London Hospital. As he explains in the image description he shared on Instagram, Boyega stayed in character the whole time:
This little stormtrooper Daniel had a wonderful wish after seeing the force awakens. Daniel currently lives with a brain tumour and rather than having Finn to himself he wanted Finn to meet the kids at the Royal London hospital and give them some toys. I stayed in character while I was with this brave boy asking him what a car was. He taught Finn about everything earth related! Really thankful for the opportunity this child granted me and I'm just humbled! I hope I played a little part in making you smile young stormtrooper.
He even found a Rey to hold his hand during the trip:
This adorable kid was such a fan of Argentine soccer player, Lionel Messi, that he made his own jersey out of a trash bag and marker. An image of him went viral as people spread the word to help him get his own actual Messi jersey.
Thanks to the Afghanistan Football Federation and UNICEF, he finally got a real jersey, signed by Messi.
UNICEF wrote in their Facebook post that it's important to bring hope to kids through sports:
The right to play and practice sports promotes the well-being of all children, especially the most vulnerable trapped in emergencies around the world.
The Tumblr blog Don't Call Me Oscar is run by photographer Maggie Storino. These adorable recreations of the Best Picture nominees are not just cute, they can tell the future. Storino told Mashable, "A little known fact about 'Don't Call Me Oscar' is that it's a good predictor of the Oscar winner; since we've been on Tumblr, the photo with the most notes has won Best Picture 3 out of 4 years."
Preschooler Cloe Woods learned what to do in case of fire in a recent fieldtrip. Unfortunately, she had the chance to use that knowledge when her house caught on fire with her and her grandmother in it.
She made sure her blind grandma had a hold of her shoulder so that she could quickly lead her out of the house. When everyone was safe, including the family dog, she ran to the neighbors and asked them to call 911.
When a noise complaint was called about a group of kids playing basketball too loudly, this Gainesville, FL police officer showed up to set them straight. And by set them straight, we mean dunking on them while playing basketball.
Officer White handled the issue (or non-issue) like a pro and according to the Gainesville Police Department, he is trying to set up a full game.
If you stepped outside your mid-January, Netflix-addled cave recently you probably heard something about Minnesota Vikings kicker Blair Walsh, and his devastating botched attempt at taking home the W last weekend against the Seattle Seahawks. To put it lightly, it was an unanticipated moment of sheer unfettered insanity.
A 27-yard-attempt miss. Nobody saw that coming. Check out this absurd compilation of fan reactions from both ends of the spectrum:
Anyways following all that madness, a first-grade class wrote a collection of encourage letters to Blair Walsh to cheer the saddened soul up. He responded in pretty much the best and most gracious way possible by visiting the kids today at Northpoint Elementary School in Blaine, Minnesota.
The children passed along advice in their letters like, 'you are handsome,' and 'everyone makes mistakes sometimes. One time I made a mistake when I was doing a cartwheel.'
Cartwheels are tough as fu*k though, so totally understand on that account. Suffice to say, all parties involved were feeling seven kinds of thankful. Keep your head up Walsh!
"For them to show this empathy and kindness towards me is remarkable." - @BlairWalsh3— Minnesota Vikings (@Vikings) January 14, 2016