oh god why

funny-fail-photo-body-mod-red-skull
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There are super fans, and then there are super crazy fans.

This Venezuelan man is one of the latter.

Henry Damon had his nose chipped off along with several other surgeries to make him look more like the villain Red Skull from Captain America.

"He has loved comic books since he was a kid and always dreamed of being Red Skull, but never got round to doing it," said one of his friends.

Damon now goes by the name "Red Skull" and in addition to the nose removal, he also had his eyeballs tattooed black, his face tattooed red and black and subdermal lumps added to his forehead.

His next step is to get silicone implants on the cheekbones, chin and cheeks and dye his entire face red.

Maybe he should have opted for the Chris Evans look instead.

cow Probably bad News news oh god why - 8421309440
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Once a Nazi cow, always a Nazi cow.

A british farmer named Derek Gow (not a Nazi) recently killed and ate some of his Nazi-bred cattle after discovering they were too violent towards him and his staff to keep around the farm.

He originally imported 13 of the rare "Heck" cattle, which were genetically modified beasts created for the Nazi regime by German zoologists Heinz and Lutz Heck back in the 1930s.

Adolf Hitler wanted to bring the legendary Auroch back to life, an aggressive beast with large horns that went extinct back in the 1600s.

The Nazi scientists combined Spanish fighting bulls with Highland cattle and several other breeds to produce the monsters, which were then used as propaganda.

Most of them were destroyed after the war, but some survived. Gow received his herd from Belgium in 2009, marking the first time the creatures have appeared in England in 4000 years.

The meat from the Nazi cows that were slaughtered will be sold to stores in Europe, says Gow. He tried sausages made from the animals and described it as "very tasty."

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Via Fox 11
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If you live in Allouez, Wisconsin, you may have recently noticed a giant snow monster roaming the city streets with a poodle.

No, no one spiked your eggnog. This is all too real.

A woman calling herself "Bumble" has been spotted walking around the neighborhood dressed as the Abominable Snow Monster of the North from "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer" with her dog named Blizzard.

After images of the duo spread online, residents were all like WTF?

According to Fox 11:

When asked what she was doing walking the streets of Allouez, Bumble said she was visiting from Misfit Island.

She also said she is simply there to "bring joy, happiness."

But she forgot to mention "terror," and "confusion."

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If you're looking for a cute, cuddly (posessed) stuffed animal to go with that "Evil Stick" you bought for your kids - you're in luck.

Just in time for Christmas, Satan has unleashed his latest minion disguised as a tiny giraffe.

Watch it walk across a table emitting a high-pitched scream to conjure all the demons from hell to your house for the holidays.

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Come for the mozzarella sticks, go home with a bloody nose.

TGI Friday's "Mobile Misteltoe" has had its first casualty, crashing into a woman's face a chipping off a piece of her nose, according to Brooklyn Daily.

The two remote-controlled helicopters dangling sprigs of mistletoe were intended to spread holiday romance, but one of them flew out of control and clipped Courier photographer Georgine Benvenuto in the nose with one of its spinning, uncovered blades.

The drone operator was attempting to land the device on the reporter's hand, when it veered off and hit Benvenuto.


TGI Friday's says it hasn't had any other accidents in its test flights, and that it's safe because ""we do not let consumers touch it."

The drones are part of a marketing campaign by the restaurant chain in which the devices fly above customers heads while they eat, forcing them to kiss.

The bloodshed is just an added bonus… because drones will be drones!

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shut up and take my money kfc oh god why food g rated win - 8357398528
Via Sploid
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Yes, that is a Double Down (you know, the sandwich with chicken instead of bread) with a beef patty and bacon in the middle. Your heart valves just closed reading that sentence.

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My language skills are a bit rusty, but pretty sure all of that screaming translates to "SHT SHT SHT SHT SH*T." Pretty sure.

Via Song Play
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WARNING: Though it doesn't appear there were critical injuries from this event, it's still pretty intense. Also, you'll seriously never want to take an elevator again.

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You may have heard of Molly Schulyer already. She's the small, unassuming mother who made waves earlier this year by taking out a massive steak in just over three minutes, absolutely demolishing the previous 6 minute record. Here she is again, except the meat load has doubled.

It's a long watch, and many might not have the stomach (GET IT?) for it all, but skip to the end to see someone who is clearly at the top of their game.

Via 209Stun34
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WARNING: Not surprisingly, some language in this video.

Luckily no one was hurt from this encounter, as the truck driver was able to leave his vehicle long before the train arrived. Fun fact: Those are Nutrigrain bars going all over the place.