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Funny Tweets and Tumblr Gems for Strength Against Boredom

A nice juicy funny tweet or tumblr gem is something you can quote later to your friends. The internet is a nexus of extremely specific and stupid ideas that get stuck into people's mind-brains and get bounced around like marbles in a paint-shaker, so it's only natural that there are optimal funny tweets to remember later and chuckle quietly.

funny tweets and moments from tumblr
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"Not My Job" Moments Of Dubious Professionalism

Different job titles have different goals, but at their heart, every worker has the same goal: do as little work as possible without getting fired. Our universal desire to not try all that hard leads us down some strange paths, like these "not my job" moments of professional ineptitude. Who needs straight road lines anyway? People get up to some real quality moments of unprofessionalism.

funny "not my job" fails
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25 Not Completely Incorrect, Technically Accurate Moments

Sure, arguing over semantics is all about dodging empirical facts and avoiding reality, but also it's kinda fun to be technically accurate. You're not gonna score high on any tests or win any real arguments being technically accurate, but at least at the end of the day you can tell yourself that your position, while stupid, was unassailable in its own little way.

funny technically accurate jokes and memes
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Scientific Diagrams That Look Unintentionally Hilarious

Maybe these would makes sense with a few pages of physics or psychology textbook before and after, but as is, these scientific diagrams just look like jokes. The sheer lack of context is the engine that drives forward the strangeness, but it almost seems like textbook writers wanted to make this stuff as weird as possible.

funny scientific diagrams with no context that look ridiculous
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Dad Jokes, Puns and Other Clever Memery

There's a fine line between a clever pun and mind-blowingly stupid pun, and honestly it seems like there's no way of knowing which is which until it's already been thrown out there. Kind of like a faulty antique grenade, but for laughter. Here are some more dad jokes that go father than ever before.

funny puns, clever dad jokes and memes | tawdry hepburn [dumb bitch hour eraserheadbabby my friend gave birth her car on way hospital and her husband named kid Carson and if don't think 's best dad joke ever get out my face | Planes were invented 1903 Trains were invented 1804 Babies before 1804 :
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Ridiculous, Random and Stupendous Tumblr Gems

Get a bunch of people spewing words at each other and you're bound to catch some verbal lighting in a bottle. Whether it's people trying to remember the weirdest parts of their childhoods or complete strangers attempting to bond over extremely specific references, tumblr hits hard with the shiny tumblr gems.

Funny moments and memes from tumblr | BAD JOKES badjokesbyjeff BY JEFF TIL Albert Einstein real person had always thought he only theoretical physicist. buttergin Follow Jeff please begging change url
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Weird, Bad and Absurd DIY Situations

A whole lot of us have looked at some fixture in our home and thought "man, it wouldn't be too difficult to gussie that thing up a bit. I could borrow Doug's saw and crack that baby open. Maybe throw some extra pipes in there. Yeah, I could have a super toilet." Most of us who have that thought realize very soon after that it's not as easy we might think it is. The rest of us go for it and end up with some low budget DIY engineering solutions.

funny and stupid DIY failures | toilet seat cover with a chunk taken off it to fit it next to a wall | stairs leading up to nowhere blocked by the ceiling
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Entitled People and Their Comical Demands

There's something spectacular about witnessing the unadulterated audacity of absurd entitled people. Whether it's a bridezilla trying to bully a wedding photographer into working for free, a landlord who's baffled why they have to provide their tenants with working faucets, or just some guy who's trying to buy a brand new TV with a wallet full of monopoly money, it never seems to get old. Entitled people with their laughable boldness keep finding new ways to demand ridiculous crap.

entitled people with ridiculous demands | Reviews PetSmart Sarah L O 07 00 12/27/15 My husband and have shopped here consistently years, but will use different location now on. They will literally lock doors right face if show up 2 minutes after closing.
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Dumb Ways People Ended Up With A Scar

As smart as you might think you are, you an always accidentally bite into a super heated pizza roll and lose your own self respect in between the dabbing of hot grease and yelping. At least injuring oneself in a stupid way is a basically universal experience. For some real dullards, here are some facepalm moments from the world's beacons of stupid.

dumb ways people got scars
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Not-Incorrect Moments of Technical Accuracy

Cleverness and intelligence are two very different things. The difference can be spotted freely lurking throughout technically correct dumb jokes and moments. Honestly, just knowing things can be boring. Setting up oneself up with some potentially confusing technically accurate logical acrobatics or painfully stupid literalisms is the way to go.

funny technically accurate moments | PUSH means push. means pull. The Office Jim Halpert presentation | Gandalf movies: Gandalf Lotr actor books: Gandalf written text
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Puns of Varying Quality and Clevertude

Puns are a sometimes food, and you never know when one is gonna hit you directly in the pun-zone. Here's a puddle of puns to roll around in and get all sopping with wordplay. For even more cleverness, here's a bunch of dad jokes that go father than ever before. The puns never end and it's a problem.

funny pun memes and dad jokes | rogeyroo: sashimi rolling, they hating person wearing a sushi costume riding a bicycle | reading book about anti gravity. Is any good can't put down Star Trek
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Entitled People With Their Childish Demands

Nothing stirs the blood and busts out a wicked riff on the heartstrings quite like people who make insane demands of people while displaying absolutely no self reflection. Entitled people and their absurd audacity will grift strangers, talk mad trash and do it all as if they're still in the right. It's kind of incredible.

Ridiculous entitled people and their absurd demands. | Hi want get my lashes done with but just wanted say first don't want talk during appointment due fact clearly do not like as person just like work and work only need an appointment tomorrow morning put down 10 AM | ate here first time tonight brisket probably best ever had but found an entire LEAF my baked beans cannot make this up So glad enjoyed brisket guessing never seen bay leaves food before? If see them future can rest assured is sign
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Funny Tumblr Moments and Sweet Ripened Tweets

Put a massive group of literate people together and what do you get? A pristine futuristic world of understanding, compassion and justice? Hell naw, you get weird stories, stupid jokes, funny tweets and tumblr gems to quote later. The internet is big enough for anyone digging through funny tumblr gems to find whatever their hearts desire.

funny jokes from twitter and tumblr | Dee @figgled 's kinda fucked musicians eat sandwiches by placing them inside trombones and honking them into each other's mouths 18/4/17, 12:32 pm skirtsuit-angel this is an example defamiliarization, where something totally normal, conventional, and ordinary like honkwiching is taken and described as something sounds weird and foreign Source: memewhoreMehGyver @AndrewNadeau0 | After leaving Willy Wonka's factory WIFE WIFE WIFE: Lot deaths LOT deaths tour!
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People Who Desperately Didn't Get The Joke

Sure the internet has the potential to connect us with savvy, like-minded individuals, but it also gives us more deaf ears for jokes to fall on. Maybe it's poor reading comprehension or maybe it's not wanting to get the joke in the first place. It's amusing, but also kind of sad to see so many people aggressively not getting the joke.

funny times people didn't understand memes and jokes | Want know just big Texas really is This is fake | as tiny filled with KEN JRES. TM Why did they put so much detail his head then just give him stick figure body? Hahahha shut up I'm pretty sure 's his tie
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Classic Sayings That Are Kind Of Wrong

Maybe we need to modernize our list of idioms, because a lot of them seem to be wishful thinking. Between the many contradictory sayings, the ones that can't stand to scrutiny, and the ones that are flat-out wrong, it seems like we're ready for an update. Some popular sayings are just kind of BS. And for others, the full versions of those classic sayings totally change their meaning.

common idioms and sayings that are untrue | Smile-Fearless 2 days ago edited 1 day ago 4 4 More "If don't succeed first time, try try again had fourth grade teacher COMPLETELY against this saying. Her reasoning if doing wrong? Then just continue do wrong until give up out frustration. So, she preferred say "Keep trying different ways until get right".
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Choice Photoshop Trolls From The Master James Fridman

When you have a photoshop request, photoshop king James Fridman is the guy you go to to have your wishes cleverly misinterpreted. He's like the photoshop version of a genie from an old joke. Whether people want to look completely different or just add a touch up here and there, James Fridman is the guy to photoshop it into stupid oblivion.

Funny times James Fridman trolled people's photoshop requests | James Fridman Kelsey @icloud.com Hil! Can remove pole front Sure. couple at wedding and collapsed tent
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