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This 105-Year-Old Man Just Set a New Cycling World Record, So Maybe You Could Go Outside Once Today

Age ain’t nothing but an excuse.

This 105-year-old man just set a new cycling world record. 105. Years. Old. Our target demo is, like, 14 to 30, which means you have no excuse for spending so much time with those dang video games. X-Box One. More like X-Box None until you set a world record.

via Burger Records

The Associated Press reports that Robert Marchand, who had once been told by a coach to give up because he was never going to achieve anything on that bike, “set a world record in the 105-plus age category — created especially for the tireless veteran — by riding 22.547 kilometers (14.010 miles) in one hour.”

Marchand isn’t just a world record holder, he’s spent time during his 105 years working as a firefighter, a truck driver, and a lumberjack, and only took up biking at 68. Man, we’re all so pathetic compared to this dude.

The Huffington Post says that “the cyclist can attribute his athleticism to eating fruits and vegetables, not smoking, drinking wine in moderation, exercising daily and going to bed at 9 p.m.”

Better get to work.

old man breaks world record for cycling
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25 Cool Tattoos That Turned Scars Into Art

Got an unsightly surgery scar that you wanna jazz up? Bam! Fishbone! We've seen our fair share of really not great tattoos. Bad tattoos are a dime a dozen. But these are flippin' cool. Here are a bunch of clever ways people used tattoos to cover up and repurpose scars and birthmarks into cool looking artwork.

tattoos that incorporate scars, tattoo of a bird using a scar as a branch
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Guy Handwrites Entire Script to 'Bee Movie' For His Girlfriend, In Most Romantic Gesture of 2016

In what is hopefully the last bit of Bee Movie meme-ing this year, a freshman at Baylor University wrote the script to Bee Movie by hand for his girlfriend as some sort of Christmas gift. Who says romance isn’t dead ironic?

Conner Fastenau spent three hours, three human hours, 180-EARTH MINUTES, transcribing the 2007 script to Bee Movie, the film about a talking bee that Jerry Seinfeld made for some reason, as sign of his romantic attraction for an adult human woman. She reportedly “got a good laugh,” so it was “worth it,” Fastenau told Buzzfeed

via GIPHY

Bee Movie has been the subject of a strange resurgence of late. Earlier this year, someone put the script to Bee Movie on a shirt in really small print, and just last month, a video that featured all of Bee Movie except every time someone said “bee” the playback sped up went viral. The world continues to be in awe not only of Bee Movie’s very existence, but also ongoing cultural relevance.

script for bee movie
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The Best Moments From the Greatest Troll in the History of the Internet: Ken M

One of the most dedicated and most active trolls in the history of the internet, Ken M, has given us quite a few laughs over the years. Here's some of his best from his escapades around the internet. 

Ken M comments that a new planet found is probably only small because it's really far away
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Good Samaritans of Twitter Band Together and Answer Dad's Desperate Plea to Help His Autistic Son

Marc Carter's 14-year-old son Ben who suffers from severe autism, has drank from this Tommee Tippee cup, and no other Tommee Tippee cup out there, since he was two years old. Since then Marc has grown very concerned that his son is apt to suffer severe consequences of no other cup is found as replacement. Marc said, "People say he will drink when he's thirsty, but two emergency trips to A&E with severe dehydration say otherwise."

twitter heartwarming autism parenting win - 1148933
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This Office Won Halloween By Dressing Up as 30+ Game of Thrones Characters

Go Ahead Tours' customer relation team nailed Halloween this year with this amazing photoshoot.

"We vote on a theme, then cast who will play which character.

"Most of us spend those two months gathering pieces of our costumes and putting it together. This year, a group of us spent the whole week before Halloween cutting and spray-painting pieces of cardboard to create our Iron Throne."
costume list halloween Game of Thrones Office win - 1091077
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trending video shopping news nike self lacing back to the future vans toy story shoes win
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Tired of just watching your favorite movies?

Well now you can wear them too, with Vans new "Toy Story" line and Nike's "Back to the Future" self-lacing do-hickies.

Van's "Toy Story" Shoes

Vans is keeping tight-lipped about this line despite some leaked pics, so we'll have to wait a bit longer until their release date of Nov. 29th to see the rest of them, but they definitely look cute.





Nike's Self-Lacing Shoes

Right now you could win a pair of Nike Self-Lacing shoes in an online lottery that's live today. According to CNN, you can purchase lottery tix online or through the Nike+ App if you live in the U.S. or Canada, "but a pair of the shoes will be auctioned in Hong Kong (Oct. 11), London (Oct. 14 & Oct. 17) and New York City (Nov. 12)."

The lottery ends on Oct. 11 and the lucky winners will be contacted on Oct. 17.

The shoes feature an "Adaptive Fit," which "senses the wearer and tightens or loosens accordingly."

Here's Michael J. Fox wearing them back in 2015:




So sing it with me now...




trending news facebook marketplace online drug haven funny win fail
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Fancy some eggs, or wanna slay like Bey for a tenner? Then check out Facebook's new Marketplace, which quickly went from innocently selling baby photoshoots, to a used car (with no brakes), to selling drugs to your Mom.





A quick look locally and we found a real gem:





Other people have found live hedgehogs and snakes...



There's also a snowsuit for your baby, I mean cat, no, I mean baby cat:



...or a passage through time:



Or some lamb:



A yurt for your bird...



...and a creepy AF clown toy:



This is already my favorite place to shop and it's only been open two days.





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Tired of standing in line at your favorite bakery or morning coffee shop?

Enter the Nissan ProPILOT Chair, which will move forward for you, keeping pace with the other chairs around it.





Using the same technology as the Nissan Pilot, the chair uses "autonomous tech for sitting in line." The chair "automatically moves the next person in line forward when appropriate. It removes the need to stand, even the need to pay attention, for the most part. When someone leaves the queue, the chair automatically moves itself to the back of the line for the next person to sit down."


So read your books, check Facebook, put on your makeup... anything but pay attention in line.




#FREEDOM


trending twitter video news dustin stranger things disability tv explained
Via Inverse
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Gaten Matarazzo, who plays Dustin on "Stranger Things," went on the British talk show "The Jonathan Ross Show," to explain the disability he was born with: cleidocranial dysplasia.

Brave, well-spoken, and phenomenally open for a television broadcast, he is now even more of a treasure to watch and an excellent disability advocate.


Check out his interview below:


...and watch the highly anticipated second season of "Stranger Things" soon!





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It's Officially Fall people, so it's time to get your PSL Latte and eat your body weight in pumpkin noms! Here's a new dump cake recipe to try with your cans of pumpkin.

Well, okay, so maybe not exactly "real pumpkin" in those cans and actually squash, if it's tasty, I won't turn it down!



Let us know in the comments how tasty this bad boy is!


guy-wins-award-for-living-amongst-mountain-goats-for-three-days
Via Mashable
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For starters, what about that dang headline doesn't scream legend! I'm not saying I understand where he was coming from when he decided to go live amongst mountain goats for a few days in the Alps, but I respect the initiative and the fact that he saw that sh*t through.


image: Tim Bowditch

UK-based designer Thomas Thwaites has written extensively about his experience in a novelGoatMan: How I took a Holiday from Being Human. Thwaits was presented the award for Nobel Prize in biology alongside naturalist and fellow Briton Charles Foster. The awards obviously a spoof, are meant to honor people that make grand achievements that make others laugh and think at the same time.



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Norwegian metal legend Fenriz is now "Councilman Gylve Fenris Nagell" for the next four years. He's officially an alternate, showing up when folks get sick or can't attend meetings at the local neighborhood council in Kolbotn, a suburb of Oslo.

According to Factmag,



What a cuddly potential Mayor:




We're all pretty psyched about it...