wtf

No means no—yup, even to twerking.

Video of two women twerking on and groping a man at a gas station in Washington, D.C has led to one of the suspect's arrest.

Footage released by Metropolitan Police Department on Nov. 9 shows two women sexually assaulting a man by grinding on him and trying to gab his crotch.

Inside the store, the man asked the clerk for help and got this reply: "What do you want me to do?"

The man said the two women followed him outside to continue the assault.

The woman in custody has been charged with third-degree sexual abuse and police are offering a $1,000 for information leading to the other suspect's arrest.

Being on death row in Indonesia has just gotten a whole lot more...deadly.

The country's anti-drug agency has recommended a plan that would create an island surrounded by crocodiles to hold death row drug inmates.

Anti-drugs chief Budi Waseso says that inmates can't convince crocodiles to let them go. Solid logic. He plans on visiting various parts of the country in search of the perfect specimens.

From The Guardian:

The plan is still in the early stages, and neither the location or potential opening date of the jail have been decided.

Indonesia already has some of the toughest anti-narcotics laws in the world, including death by firing squad for traffickers, and sparked international uproar in April when it put to death seven foreign drug convicts, including Australians Andrew Chan and Myuran Sukumaran.

Someone was pretty excited about the plan.

A fiery airplane crash in Ohio that killed all nine passengers on board was captured by one teen who just happened to be on Snapchat at the same time.

Paige McVeigh was in her Akron apartment when she captured and tweeted her reaction to the plane crash, which happened in another part of the complex she lives in.

The teen can be seen hearing a loud noise, looking toward a bright light and yelling "Oh my God!" before the video ends.

@fox8news I live in that apartment complex and I was snap chatting while the crash happened coincidently! pic.twitter.com/QtMJcQsH86

— ¥PAIGE¥ (@paigeey_kinns15) November 10, 2015

WJW reports that the small airplane crashed about two miles away from Akron Fulton International Airport.

All nine people on board, two pilots and seven passengers, died on impact. No one was in the portion of the apartment building that was hit at the time of the crash.

This is one of those stories where you don't know if you should feel sad or grossed out.

A man in China has married a realistic sex doll because he has terminal cancer and wants to feel the joy of marriage without leaving behind a grieving widow.

The 28-year-old man has not yet been identified, but some are suggesting this could all just be a marketing stunt.

Nevertheless, the (happy?) couple had one beautiful wedding photo shoot...

We wish the couple much happiness. And the man many nights of fapping.

What has three eyes and swims in the water?

This catfish.

Video has emerged showing a three-eyed catfish that was caught in the notoriously polluted Gowanus Canal in Brooklyn.

Greg Hunter, who shot the video, told WABC that people started crowding around a man who caught the catfish from a bridge.

"It was a crazy scene," he said.

Blinky?

The truth is out there...on Facebook. Where everything is true, duh!

Over the weekend, there was a UFO in Los Angeles that freaked everyone out. The government says it was a missile test, but surrrrreeeee it was.

Do you want proof that aliens visited California? Well, here it is. This strange two-legged deformed thing from San Jose was posted on Facebook and Reddit the night of the UFO sighting.

If someone tells you the UFO over Los Angeles was just a government missile test, just show them these photos that are definitely not of a deformed animal fetus and definitely are of an alien creature.

What do we think this creature is?

Two words: Jersey Devil.

Starbucks has just entered the "War on Christmas" with one bold, unthinkable move—having a red Christmas cup?

That's right. Some Christians are upset because the Starbucks Christmas cup for this year is plain red instead of decorated with snowflakes or Christmas trees.

As a form of protest, people have started using the hashtag #MerryChristmasStarbucks to spread the message of outrage.

And some people are saying their name is "Merry Christmas" at Starbucks so the barista has to write it on their red cup.

Im asking Starbucks to put Merry Christmas on my cup. #MerryChristmasStarbucks pic.twitter.com/CuZIBxZ6oS

— Leah Whatley (@ElyonSpaGirl) November 6, 2015

Can I get a name for your cup? Sure. "Merry Christmas" #MerryChristmasStarbucks pic.twitter.com/lFgFASnBsi

— Jay Carr (@Jay_Carr) November 6, 2015

Jeffrey Fields, Starbucks vice president of Design & Content, had this to say about the cups:

"In the past, we have told stories with our holiday cups designs. This year we wanted to usher in the holidays with a purity of design that welcomes all of our stories."

"Starbucks has become a place of sanctuary during the holidays," he said. "We're embracing the simplicity and the quietness of it. It's more open way to usher in the holiday."

It definitely sounds like Starbucks is out to destroy Christmas. eye roll

A Facebook 'like' can now get you fired.

Oh, what an exciting world we live in!

Troy Garrod, a 27-year-old from England, started working at Bertrams Books back in 2011.

He saw his coworker upload a photo in October on Facebook of a sweater with five wolves on it. Doing what most people do while scrolling through his Newsfeed, Garrod hit the 'like' button (along with 70 other people.)

But a few days later he received a text from his boss saying he had been fired for "bullying."

"I didn't know what the photo meant but everyone else who worked there was liking it so I just joined in," he told Metro.

Apparently the caption on the photo was making fun of the sweater, which another coworker owned. It read:

'OMG I'm f**king crying… I'm sure there's a wolf fleece appreciation page pahahaha.'

The original uploader is also believed to have been suspended.

Geez, you think someone wearing a sweet wolf sweater like that would have a better sense of humor.

It takes some balls to carry this backpack.

This giant realistic scrotum backpack was spotted about a year ago and posted to Reddit. "I want one of these," said no one.

So the creator decided to start a crowdfunding campaign to mass produce these testicular totes.

Daniel Bitton has started an Indiegogo campaign to bring more of his "Scrote'n'Totes" to life.

"As a result, out of a sense of profound humanitarianism, I and several friends have had to interrupt our lives in order to fully dedicate our lives to the production of lifelike, hideous, giant scrotum backpacks," he writes.

The Scrote'n'Tote will come in both dark and light colors, and will retail for $120 once funded.

However, only $41 of the $33,000 needed to fund the project has been raised so far. So if you want a Scrote'n'Tote, you better crack open that piggy bank.

A man who had just finished binge-watching The Walking Dead on Netflix told police he killed his friend because the victim was slowly turning into a zombie.

Police say the New Mexico man, 23-year-old Damon Perry, beat his pal to death with an electric guitar and microwave before being taken into custody for threatening people with a knife around his apartment complex.

Wow, no chill.

Two maintenance workers held down the man before police arrived.

He was taken into custody where he told police his friend tried to bite him, Walker style.

A local newspaper says Perry was intoxicated at the time of arrest.

Did the suspect look something like this?

What if someone told you that 5+5+5 doesn't equal 15?

Any sane person with a second grand education would call your bluff. But they'd be wrong. At least, according to the Common Core curriculum.

A photo of a student getting this answer wrong blew up on Reddit last week, causing mayhem across the Internet.

The "correct" answer to solving 5 times 3 would be 3+3+3+3+3.

Supporters of Common Core say that adding 5 groups of 3 together is correct because that strategy will help students once they reach more advanced math.

Back in September, a dad wrote a check in "Common Core math" to show how strange some of the strategies are.

And Common Core has become a hot button issue in the GOP presidential election. The Donald has come out against the academic standards while Jeb! has long support them.

"@RebelCapsGal: @realDonaldTrump THANK YOU for speaking out against Common Core and how horrible it is for kids!"

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) October 18, 2015

"The children look delicious. May I have a taste?"

Whoa.

Police say that's the message in a letter sent to a Minnesota family by a disgruntled neighbor who was angry the family's young children were being loud.

The note came from 38-year-old Carrie Pernula, who is now facing charges of gross misdemeanor terroristic threats and stalking.

"She was angry because the kids were leaving things in her yard and I think being a little noisy, being kids, the way kids are," Champlin Deputy Police Chief Ty Schmidt told WCOO.

She also reportedly sent magazine subscriptions to the family under the name of "Your Tasty Children."

Pernula must have been watching too much Hocus Pocus.

A psychic actually predicted something that came true. But it wasn't good news.

Police say Star Randel-Hanson, 49, stabbed his housemate Derick Marney, 70, and left him for dead.

Ten days later, the man visited tarot card reader Jayne Braiden for a reading. What she saw was terrifying.

When Braiden turned over the death card, Randel-Hanson allegedly confessed to the murder of his friend.

Here's how it went down, according to Mirror:

Ms Braiden told the court: "The first card was the 'blasted tower'. That means lots of arguments, lots of bad feelings.

"Then there was 'the emperor', which signified a dominant male. Then there was the 'death card'."

She said she told Randel-Hanson she could "see that something really bad has happened and that we need to discuss this further."

"He said: 'It's really bad'."

"I said to him we need to talk about everything that has happened.

"And that is when he told me... he said that he had killed him."

After he confessed, Braiden phoned police—but it took them over 55 minutes to arrive. The two talked about other subjects and joked around until police showed up to arrest Randel-Hanson.

He told police that he accidentally stabbed Marney when he turned around quickly with a knife in his hands.

What do the cards have to say?

"Screw this airline!"

An American Airlines passenger yelled that along with a chorus of "boos" as a woman was removed from a flight from Phoenix to Portland on Sunday.

But the crowd wasn't jeering at the passenger, they were upset at the flight attendant they felt unjustly kicked the woman off the plane.

In a video that surfaced online, the unidentified woman can be seen weeping as a female flight attendant informs her she must exit the plane. The incident started after a male attendant asked the woman to move seats, but she didn't hear him.

"You're so mean to me. I didn't do anything," the woman says.

American Airlines says the company is looking into the video. But you can't stop the rage of the Internet.

Florida Man took the night off from causing mayhem, and Florida Woman took his place.

Whitney Beall, a 23-year-old woman, was arrested this weekend for drunk driving after using the mobile app Periscope to live-stream her entire ride.

"I'm super drunk, I don't even know how to explain it," she says to start the 11-minute broadcast below. The entire broadcast lasted over 40 minutes.

With tips from viewers and one officer using their own Periscope account to spot landmarks, police were able to safely stop Beall.

"Officers advised that they smelled the odor of an alcoholic beverage emanating from Beall, her speech was slow; her eyes were bloodshot and glossy," a Lakeland PD Facebook post said.

It seems Florida Woman got the attention she wanted. And luckily no one was hurt.

Jewel Shuping purposefully blinded herself with drain cleaner because she had yearned to be blind since she was six years old.

She suffers from Body Integrity Identity Disorder or BIID, which is usually associated with believing that one's limbs doesn't belong to one's self and manifests in a desire to lose that limb.

"I really feel this is the way I was supposed to be born, that I should have been blind from birth," the 30-year-old Shuping said.

Shuping's case is made even stranger by the fact that she worked with a psychiatrist to blind herself, presumably under the assumption that it was a treatment.

Even though she doesn't regret her decision, in fact now saying that she's never been happier, Shuping is trying to create awareness of BIID so that people don't take the route she did.

"Don't go blind the way I did. I know there is a need, but perhaps someday there will be treatment for it," Shuping said. "People with BIID get trains to run over their legs, freeze dry their legs or fall off cliffs to try to paralyze themselves.

"It's very dangerous. And they need professional help."