bad parker blocked in by barricade of shopping carts
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If you can’t stand the heat stay out of the kitchen, and if you can’t park, you best stay home all together.

Holiday retailer parking lots aren’t for the faint of heart, so unless you can park and park right, you run the risk of a little street justice. Just ask this shopper in Biddeford, Maine, who thought they could do whatever they want. Parking between two spots on one of the biggest shopping days of the year is a big no no, so other shoppers gave them what for.

via Simpsons World

Matthew Mills spotted the double parker surrounded by shopping carts in a Walmart parking lot, snapped a pick, and wrote “This guy got a lesson in parking” on Facebook. Roasted.

Mashable spoke to Mills, who said, “"I was going shopping with my father to get some last-minute gifts. I noticed the car was directly over the yellow line and surrounded by carts.”

"I went back and asked other employees if the car was recognizable, and they told me it was an employee that slid into the spot that way due to ice. I think they feel stupid because it was 45 degrees that day and there was no ice.”

Slid into the spot on ice? Who is this guy, Batman? There is only one law in the Walmart parking lot: Parking law, and it’s carried out by mob justice.

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Buy an Ektorp if you want to sleep on ektorp.

Ikea has been facing a very Ikea like problem of late. No, not an overabundance of meatballs. I said Ikea-like problem, not delicious problem. Apparently, a couple of Belgian teens have been sleeping in Ikea, made a video documenting their slumber party, and influenced at least 10 other teens to do the same.

via Make A Gif

C’mon, teens. We live in a society of laws, and we don’t have time for your feel-good, devil may care attitude. Don’t put your shades, when I’m talking to you.

The BBC reported that if these sleepover don’t stop, Ikea will be forced to call your mother—er, police. They’ll be forced to call the police. In fact, they already called the police on two 15-year-old Swedish girls, charging them with trespassing. They, apparently, never even made it out of the cupboards that they were hiding in because they were too afraid of setting off the alarms.

Ikea spoke to the BBC and said, "We appreciate that people are interested in Ikea and want to create fun experiences. However, the safety and security of our co-workers and customers is our highest priority and that's why we do not allow sleepovers in our stores. Maybe needless to say that the fun in it is overrated. A long night of sitting still, only to then risk getting into trouble with the law.”

There you have it, teens. Stop causing so much darn mischief and start studying or something.

via Toxic Eunoia

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Everyone has an opinion of Saturday Night Live. Is it funny? Is it not funny? What did the president elect tweet about it?

But the fact that everyone only focuses on the content of SNL is a real testament to its production. People hardly notice the time and effort that goes into putting together a sketch. All they care about is whether or not they made us laugh.

via Saturday Night Live

To shine a spotlight on the production, though, Saturday Night Live released a video showcasing the two-and-a-half minute changeover, from cold open sketch to monologue, and it’s pretty impressive.

Maybe think of this next time you say that SNL isn’t funny anymore. Or don’t, honestly, just because the show’s hard to make doesn’t mean you have to like it.

donald trump inauguration performers announced
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Ew, boy.

Finding a performer for President-elect Donald Trump’s inauguration hasn't been easy. Apparently, no one wants to show support for that reality TV gameshow host who won the presidency last month.

In November, Elton John was rumored to be performing, though, he denied the rumor. John told The Guardian: “I don’t really want my music to be involved in anything to do with an American election campaign. I’m British. I’ve met Donald Trump, he was very nice to me, it’s nothing personal, his political views are his own, mine are very different, I’m not a Republican in a million years. Why not ask Ted fucking Nugent? Or one of those fucking country stars? They’ll do it for you.”

via MTV

Well, actually, they won't because neither Nugent nor Kid Rock are on the lineup.

So who are the big league performers destined to help America Rock again? According to Consequence of Sound, the good gets are:

  • Nashville singer-songwriter Beau Davidson
  • The Regan Years, a cover band who only plays music released during the Ronald Regan presidency. They claim to be “one of the HOTTEST 80s cover bands” — conversely, they also sound like one of the saddest.
  • The Mixx, which is something of a wedding band — yeesh.
  • DJ Sets by DJ Romin, DJ Young Rye, DJ Flow, and DJ Freedom. No word yet as to if DJ Barron will be making his debut.
  • The Star Spangled Singers, allegedly different from USA Freedom Girls, who sang that weird Trump song a few months ago and are currently suing the president elect.

All this and probably not that much more for $350. Hopefully it goes toward a new website. Trump’s war against good design lumbers on.

via All American Ball

amazon sells bacon flavored lip balm
Via Amazon
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We’ve reached peak bacon.

Believing that everyone wants to enjoy a salty kiss, the manufacturer Accoutrements introduces Bacon Lip Balm, the only lip balm that lets your friends know that you need help.

Yes, we’ve seen bacon take the country by storm over the last few years, leading to bacon floss and air freshener. Though, few things should let your loved one know that you have a problem quite like this bacon flavored lip balm. In fact, upon kissing you, they’ll probably back up complaining that their lips burn, like you eat Tostitos without any salsa.

The Amazon description boasts the lip balm:

  • Heals Dry and Cracked Lips
  • Bacon Fresh
  • Wonderful Bacon Smell

One can only imagine with the expression “Bacon Fresh” actually means.

Anyway, if you’re one of those people the pretends bacon or having a beard makes you an interesting person, today is your luck day. If not, please move along.

via NeonMob

H/T The Daily Dot

marist poll says whatever is the most annoying word of the year
Via Frinkiac
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Ok, you disaffected teens, listen up. We all know you’re too cool to care about anything, but frankly, we're sick of having to pretend to be cool around you. We’re tired of raising our hands for a high five only to watch you pull your hand away, run your fingers through your hair, and say that we're "too slow."

And now the tables have turn.

via Make a Gif

In a new Marist Poll, “Whatever” was voted as the most annoying word, followed by some other teen favorites, like “no offense, but” and “I can’t even.” What can’t you even? What?!? Please, tell us!

Marist reports: “‘Whatever’ irritates 38% of Americans followed by ‘no offense, but’ with 20%. ‘You know, right’ is irksome to 14% of residents nationally as is ‘I can’t even,’ 14%. “Huge” grates on the nerves of 8% of Americans, and 5% are unsure.”

Take that, teens. But, as it turns out, only olds find “whatever” offensive. 49 percent of Americans over 45 find “whatever offensive.” Then it starts to dip into other offensive youth talk.

“Digging deeper, ‘whatever’ tops the list for those 30 to 44 years old, 33%, Americans 45 to 59 years of age, 48%, and those 60 and older, 49%. Among Americans under 30, ‘I can’t even’ takes top honors with 33%.”

Either way, keep your bad attitude to yourself, teens. And stay off my lawn.

via CHUD

H/T Huffington Post

mark zuckerberg from facebook builds smart home AI jarvis voiced by morgan freeman
Via Facebook
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Mark Zuckerberg, the founder and CEO of perennial time-waster Facebook, has decided the day-to-day of making toast, picking out a shirt, or teaching his daughter Mandarin is a little too much for a 32-year-old technology giant. So he did what any average joe would do: He built an AI inspired by Iron Man and voiced by Morgan Freeman to run his house for him.

Taking smart houses to the next level, Zuckerberg built the AI “Jarvis,” a functional AI he communicates with through his iPhone. He posted a video, which as he claims “is meant to be a fun summary and not a live demo,” but it should still leave you plenty jealous.

In a note on Facebook, he did post his methods for building Jarvis as well as some features, like face and voice recognition that allows people into his house and standard smart home functions, such as turning off and on lights.

via Facebook

Just think what I could do with all that time you spend answering the door and picking out a shirt. I could, um… Or, um… We’ll keep you with all the riveting things I could do with the time saved. Until then, enjoy the video.

youtuber adam saleh lashes back at delta for accusing him of faking racist flight removal
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Yesterday, we posted that YouTuber Adam Saleh— who is known, in part, for a recent airport security-related hoax — was allegedly thrown off of his Delta flight for speaking Arabic. Since then, both he and Delta have responded. 

via @omgAdamSaleh

While Saleh maintains his position, Delta has claimed that he was removed because "he sought to disrupt the cabin with provocative behavior."

via @TheOfficialSal

However, as many were quick to point out, whether or not this is a prank, Islamophobia on planes and other places remains a very serious and prevelant issue. 

via @umalkhayryusuf

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<p>Throw away your filters because Snapchat is about to get really gross.</p>
<p>That&rsquo;s right, instead of making yourself look like some cute dog, Snapchat Spectacles are making it easier than ever to gross out your followers. Case in point, Shafi Ahemed, a UK surgeon recorded a hernia procedure. Of course, this was for his students, which actually could do the world a lot of good, but, seriously, gross, dude.</p>
<p><iframe src="//" width="480" height="270" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen="allowfullscreen"></iframe></p>
<p><a href="">via GIPHY</a></p>
<p><a href="">According to <em>Mashable</em></a>, &ldquo;Around 200 students watched as he explained the procedure in 10-second snippets, showing different parts of the anatomy and detailing various procedures such as the initial incision.&rdquo;</p>
<p>So now, what, 200 students have a better idea of what it&rsquo;s actually like to go into surgery, while the rest of us have to suffer with this totally disgusting video. Thanks for nothing, Snapchat Spectacles.</p>