FAIL

trending news facebook marketplace online drug haven funny win fail
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Fancy some eggs, or wanna slay like Bey for a tenner? Then check out Facebook's new Marketplace, which quickly went from innocently selling baby photoshoots, to a used car (with no brakes), to selling drugs to your Mom.





A quick look locally and we found a real gem:





Other people have found live hedgehogs and snakes...



There's also a snowsuit for your baby, I mean cat, no, I mean baby cat:



...or a passage through time:



Or some lamb:



A yurt for your bird...



...and a creepy AF clown toy:



This is already my favorite place to shop and it's only been open two days.





trending news video 2017 teddy ruxpin 80s toy fail
Via CNN
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Remember Teddy Ruxpin, the animated talking teddy bear from the 80's? Well, he's back, and even more creepy, with fully animated digital eyes, hitting store shelves in 2017.



Though currently a prototype, they seem keen to keep the creepy eyes an integral part of the bear in the future, as they brought one out for the public at a trade show recently:




I feel like we've seen how this ends already...







Favorite

Martin Shkreli Is Staging an Auction to Let One Very Lucky Person Punch Him in the Face, and the Internet's Already Fired Up

Have you ever caught yourself daydreaming about punching Martin Shrekli in the face amidst the plethora of irritating news about the latest dumb thing the jackass said? Yeah, well, turns out Shkreli is feeling extra charitable these days; and in an attempt to raise money for the son of his friend Mike Kulich--the XHamster publicist who passed away--he's letting the highest bidder punch him in the face.

twitter news FAIL annoying martin shkreli reactions - 979973
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trending satire news american girl betchiness ranking lol
Via Betches
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American Girls. Those super-expensive dolls you could buy to look creepily exactly like you, look nothing like you, or to just be cute:


She's definitely cute


We can agree--whether with our parents over how much they cost, or at our friends for not letting us rip off their heads or cut off their hair--we have all had anger toward them at some point in our lives.

Enter Betches and their definitive ranking of the American Girls by Betchiness.

We get the glory of seeing that entitled historical b*tch Samantha, finally getting put in her place.

...and seeing Josefina Montoya--pronounced "HO-SEF-INA" (I know, because I used to work there and was REQUIRED to correct people who called in to order one, fun times)--put in her damn place brings me NO END of pleasure:




Plus with randos like Caroline Abbott...


...you will feel the satisfying burn of familiar hatred sparked within the childlike center of your soul.


Don't you just hate our faces?!


Check out more of the awesomeness and pick your favorite betch here.


trending twitter news daily mirror fail lol mcharambeface winning zoo contest name
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Oh Internet, how we loathe you sometimes.

Millions were disappointed after gullibly falling for an fake story indicating that "Harambe McHarambeface" won the naming contest for a baby gorilla at a Chinese zoo.

It all started when the crap-tacular Daily Mirror--who never checks the legitimacy of their sources--decided to pick up the story. The "source" was the fictitional "Boston Leader" news website, and the internet ran with it from there:






The truth quickly came out and hearts were broken everywhere...





...and though we might not have a Harambe McHarambeface YET, you can still show your support and buy your "McHarambeface" t-shirt here:





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funny fail image australian driver uses frying pan for steering wheel
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The 32-year-old from Adelaide driver had also made a clusterf**k of other illegal alterations to his car, because of course he had.Hopefully at least one more South Australian driver knows better than to get saucy with their car repairs, otherwise they'll get burned by the Police.



At least the tribute on the pan-wheel is heartfelt, and spelled correctly. The judge might count that for something, right?

trending news funny pool toy cockroach float
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Summer's almost over, but the fun can keep going all Autumn long with this Giant Cockroach Raft!



Just think--Dad puts the cover on the pool, you sneak out and hide this baby underneath it, next summer when he goes to open the pool BAM! HEART ATTACK!!

There's also this beauty that I'd love to ride:



I'm gonna ride this heat wave as long as possible, goddammit...




Via Surface
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Microsoft tries too hard--yet again--in their new Surface Pro 4 ad geared ENTIRELY toward Hipster Millennials. The singing narrator wears a fedora and points out all the ways a Hipster Surface user can be productive. Mostly yawn-inducing, the one highlight is the inexplicably NIGHTMARE-INDUCING "hat for your cat" visual near the beginning:



We don't know what the hell you were thinking, Microsoft, but we want to see MORE of nightmare cat.




#NIGHTMARECAT


trending news instagram vogue photoshop fail paralympians models
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In a pretty-much universally offensive Photoshop FAIL, Vogue Brazil decided to superimpose disabilities on their own able-bodied models in a promotion for the Paralymics instead of using ACTUAL Paralympians.



The Paralympians were okay with it...



...but we're still not. We'd rather see more barrier-breaking pics of these AMAZING athletes:




Read more about it here.


trending news uber betterment benefit drivers
Via Wired
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In what seems like a WIN, but--as always with Uber--is really a FAIL for humans, Uber has teamed up with financial firm Betterment to offer fee-free retirement accounts to drivers in Seattle, Boston, Chicago, and New Jersey, with options to expand to other cities soon.





Drivers can access the retirement plan from their phones, but Uber won't make any contributions to the accounts, making this "benefit" fall flat.

The accounts are free for only the first year, with fees afterwards calculated at Betterment's regular price, which they say is less than the fees typically charged by traditional financial advisers, but definitely not free. With driver's already hurting for fares...



...we all know Uber, who often works against their workers through "union busting" politics, can do better.


trending news twitter trump mr brexit fail
Via Twitter
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Donald Trump just said for us to call him "Mr. BREXIT" on Twitter:



Understandably, the internet erupted in ridicule for the man who, until very recently, was unfamiliar with the term "BREXIT" entirely:



...and for the WIN:





trending news video twitter black olives matter marketing
Via Twitter
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For about $20 at Albuquerque Italian restaurant, Paisano's, you can buy yourself some bad judgment.


The owner, Rick Camuglia, insists he wasn't trivializing the Black Lives Matter movement, but just trying to push his "tuna dish with black olive tapenade."






Understandably, Twitter erupted trying to explain where he went wrong:

...but he JUST DOESN'T SEEM TO GET IT.

The shirt and hat are still available for sale here if you don't get it either.

8000 calorie olympic meal badminton food fail australia badminton
Via Facebook
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Australian Badminton player Sawan Serasinghe drowned his Rio loss sorrows like only an Olympian can: with an 8,000-calorie gorgefest at Mickey D's.



His fans don't seem too upset about it yet...



...but just wait until that 8,000 calories hits his thighs





victorias secret photoshop fail
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Victoria's Secret has gone and done it again, badly Photoshopping a random elbow behind a model and grossly thinning out another model's arm. The internet saw their flub on Insta and quickly pointed it out... yet AGAIN.



Time to remember that it's 2016 and stop slimming down tiny ladies and adding random appendages, Victoria's Secret. Tsk tsk!