funny

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What can really be said about a flub like this?

It’s bad, real bad.

In the future, the flub will probably be put into gif form and used as shorthand to express grief over the failure of a sure thing.

As Deadspin put it “This is not hyperbole.” This might be the worst shot ever taken. This player from a “Serbian lower league” misses an open goal from, like, an inch away. It's hard to watch.

via YouTube

Woman Arrested After Trying to Use Pizza as Form of ID
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As technology gets better, fake IDs get worse.

The Daily Hampshire Gazette reports that a woman was arrested outside a bar in Amherst, Mass, after she struck the doorman in the face. Now what could have led to that? When he asked for her ID, she attempted to give him a slice of pizza.

via Pizza Shares

“After being informed that pizza was not a valid means of gaining entry to the establishment, the woman slapped the doorman in the face, according to police, and was issued a trespass notice to stay away from the location.”

Everyone knows that pizza isn’t a valid form of ID, but it is a good bargaining tool, whether you’re trying to get your kid brother to clean your room or you’re trying to lurer the Ninja Turtles back to your layer.

Look, physical violence is never acceptable, but it does seem like a lot of people in this situation had zero chill.

new santa cam replaces elf on a shelf this christmas
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Move over, Elf on a Shelf, because Santa Claus is coming to town.

You'll be seeing some new, futuristic modes of surveillance this Christmas, as two new Santa Cameras hit the shelves. Meant to scare children into behaving, these new Claus-monitoring systems aim to replace the Elf on the Shelf as the premiere Santa surveillance hardware.

Created by Emmiroo’s Photography & Gifts, the Santa Camera looks like a security camera you'd see in a store, however, this supposedly has a direct line to the big man himself, who presumably sits in a room surrounded by television screens as a opposed to doing his job. This leads to an important question: Is Santa Claus' magic bound to the technology available at the time, or has he always had these security cams and chose not to use them.

Santa is bringing some next level fear and intimidation this holiday season. The Cam even comes with a cryptic note written by Kris Kringle, indicating that he’s got “keep a very close eye on you all.” We don't know what Santa thinks we did, but whatever it is, we're sorry.

'

In addition to the physical camera, Santa Cam ornaments are also set to appear on Christmas trees this holiday season.

 

via @8infinitedesign

It’s only a matter of time before a whistleblower leaks the wide range of intel Santa’s collecting in the North Pole, Snowden style.

Check out The Huffington Post for more on the terrifying future we now live in.

via GIPHY

adulting school maine opens to teach millenials to be grownups
Via Seeso
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Growing up can be tough, what with knowing when to brush your teeth and feeding yourself and, ugh, putting pants on. The worst.

Thankfully, someone has set out to confirm all the worst stereotypes about millennials and teach them how to break them. Enroll now in, *sigh* Adulting School. With classes in finance, health, relationships, communication, and handiwork, The Adulting School is here to teach you how to “Adult.”

via The Adulting School 

Founded by psychotherapist Rachel Weinstein and former public school teacher Katie Brunelle and based out of Portland, Maine, The Adulting School offers a variety of seminars and classes on how to be a big person who can take care of themself. You can even take an Adulting IQ exam to find out how adult you are. Note: The exam does not ask the most common adult questions, such as "Who am I?" and "What am I doing with my life?" 

Their website promises:

“You don't have a ton of time to commit or money to spend on figuring it all out and that's okay — we have succinct, useable, accessible information in our workshops, summits, webinars and blogs. We've gathered quality, down-to-earth experts as part of our community to answer your questions and get you moving forward with the adulting fundamentals you need.”

Get your life together and become a master adulter (that can’t be the right word) today!

via Imgur

Via Team Coco
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Real life hasn’t been that much fun lately, right? With your job, Thanksgiving, and Tax Day (I mean, that thing's always around the corner), wouldn’t be nice to just get away for a while? Check out into a different reality.

Well, science is currently working on that, and our old friend Conan O’Brien got to try it out for himself. Over at the YouTube’s VR Lab in New York City, Conan took virtual reality for a test drive, performing his normal routine of yelling at employees, co-workers, robots, and gym coaches in the new digital world, on Conan last night.

This video should have you very excited for the future, where you can harass robots and eat corn on the cob sandwiches. Watch the video and you’ll get it.

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There’s a new president, so there’s no more time to stand around. The Mannequin Challenge is over, and it’s time to move, take action, and cower in fear.

At least that’s the MO of the new viral sensation that’s sweeping high schools around Vine or Snapchat or whatever kids are using these days. Personally, I’m 952-years-old, so it’s all Myspace to me.

This new challenge is so easy, it’s almost instinctual. Someone yells, “Trump is coming” to a group of people, and everyone runs away in fear. It’s not so different from a Tokyo resident in a Godzilla movie, except much more real.

via Scified

The challenge is barely funny. It’s more just a thing to look at, nod your head, and say, “Yeah, that sounds about right.”

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Everyone loves Adele, right? With her dulcet tones, she’s captured the hearts of millions of fans worldwide, and they’re not all human.

At her concert in Mexico City on Tuesday night, Adele met the welcoming committee: A bat.

The bat, who’s probably just a huge fan that got a little too excited, fluttered around the concert hall and totally freaked out the “In the Deep” singer. Upon seeing said bat, the Grammy award-winning superstar began flapping her arms as if to mimic the flight of the bat and spinning in circles. She seemed scared.

“Oh my god,” she said. “There’s a f****** bat.”

In the end, Adele, who seemed a little shaken at first warmed up to her new fan and laughed it off.

But this is no laughing matter. Bats are dangerous, they are scary, they turn into vampires, and we should all respect their awesome power. Ok, Adele?

When a bat welcomes you to a new country @Adele #adelemexico pic.twitter.com/YvCZ7ImDTb

— H Ramos (@Hect) November 16, 2016

via @Hect

president donald trump name removed from his building
Via CNBC
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President-elect Trump loves his name. Who wouldn’t? It’s a name. It’s a verb. It’s one syllable. It looks great in front of a bad steak. But on a building, ehhhhhhh, some aren’t so sure.

This afternoon, workers began removing the name “Trump” from one of three luxury apartment buildings, which, look, is the biggest, most luxurious apartment building, but maybe bring up a couple uncomfortable feelings, like xenophobia, fear, political resentment, and divisiveness. Not exactly the type of thing you want for your domicile.

“Our goal was we have no interest in having any political position on anything,” said Sam Zell, the building’s owner. “Once Mr. Trump made the decision that he was going to enter the political scene, we looked at it and said, 'We just want to be neutral. We don't want to have an opinion.’”

According to The New York Times, hundreds of tenants petitioned to “Dump the TRUMP name.” 

This is the most actively neutral name removal we've seen since Two Guys, a Girl, and a Pizza Place became just Two Guys and a Girl. Now, that’s a reference everyone can get behind.

 Air Horn Terrorist Has Been Captured by police
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Our long national nightmare is over. Police apprehended the air horn terrorist of El Segundo, California on Sunday morning. Citizens of that sleepy, SoCal city have been on edge for the past few weeks as an air horn that sounds like a train has been wreaking havoc on their community.

Police have detained a suspect in connection with the noise, and boy, does he look like someone who likes a good air horn. We’re not talking about the air horn you here when some serious good times are about to go down. We’re talking about a good, old fashioned annoying honk from someone with a crazy hair cut and unkempt facial hair.

NBC Los Angeles reports on the ups and downs of the police investigation into the noise:

“Police have received numerous reports of an extremely loud air horn going off before residents spot a getaway car, a blue four-door sedan driven by a man.”

“Oftentimes, officers couldn't catch the air horn blower because the person would blare the horn and then ‘beat feet,’ police said. At times, officers on the east side of town could hear the noise and would hurry over, only to find that the perpetrator had taken off.”

"He's been doing this for weeks, and we've been chasing him for weeks — but we got him," El Segundo Police Lt. Ray Garcia said. Now imagine Garcia saying this while popping on a pair of aviator sunglasses and dusting off his hands. So cool.

via Villians

This game of cat and mouse didn’t end with the apprehension because they still had this fantastic mugshot to take, and wow, move over, Nick Nolte, this one’s a keeper.

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Shame: is there a better sales tool?

If you’re not sure people will buy your cellphone, car, or piece of fruit, why not convince them that they’re bad if they don’t? Make them feel embarrassed or stupid. It just works. Shame sells.

That’s what Sodastream, the makers of a sparkling water machine, is doing, and they’re using your favorite show, Game of Thrones, to shame you.

Recreating Cersei Lannister’s walk of shame through King’s Landing, Sodastream enlists the help of Game of Thrones’ Thor Bjornsson (the Mountain) and Hannah Waddingham, who steps back into the role of Septa Unella, bell and all and shames a consumer for buying bottled seltzer at the store, like a real jerk.

via Mess Bog

Here’s a rundown of this perfectly normal, not crazy at all advertisement:

Like in Game of Thrones, Septa parades a person through the streets shouting “Shame” and ringing her bell. Only instead of shaming this consumer for political espionage and crimes against god, he’s shamed for buying bottled seltzer and crimes against “Mother Earth.” Septa chases the consumer back to the GoT set, where he meets the Mountain, who Mountain-splains the effects of plastic bottles on and the bounties of the environment, like peanuts! Then, back in his trailer, the Mountain sees the actress Hannah Waddingham taking off her Septa costume and is taken by her beauty. All in all, great commercial for a seltzermaker thingy.

via Dussenberg

Anyway, we should all be very ashamed of ourselves for even considering buying bottled seltzer over a Sodastream because peanuts. 

Based on their YouTube page, it looks like this is just the beingging of a whole sorted love affair between Septa and the Mountain, so get ready to feel weird for a while. 

via Shame or Glory

Enjoy this insane commercial!

Favorite

Trick of the Day: Stay! Dogs Reclaim the Mannequin Challenge

After years of doing tricks, like "Stay" and "Play Dead" for free, dogs are finally cashing in on one of those old tricks.

Joining the Mannequin Challenge a little late, but still totally welcomed, dogs have been crushing the challenge for the past day or so. Sure, you could say their owners are the real winners for finally turning their cameras on their dogs for a change, but they're just so cute not to give it to them. I mean, who's a good boy?

Your move, cats. Or don't move, cats.

dogs twitter mannequin challenge funny - 1141765
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It takes years of training to become a ninja, so don’t go stealing swords on your first day.

At least, “still in training” better be the excuse of this ninja, who broke into a comic book store in Anchorage, Alaska and stole a katana sword on Friday. In a move that would get any warrior removed from their dojo, or at the very least, reprimanded by their sansei, this ninja was caught on camera. It doesn’t even look like they're trying to evade the its lens.

There are just so many things wrong with this scenario. First, like, if you’re dressing up as a ninja, and you’re not going to find any cover, then, jeez, I don’t know, go back to training. Second, what is this ninja doing getting their steel from a comic book store? That thing better have been stolen from this ninja and they are merely retrieving it. Third, bring a smoke bomb, dude.

What is this world coming to? A ninja should be as elusive as a shadow, and this one came in like bull in a china shop. Nothing else was stolen, but if the ninja’s in Anchorage are this bad, law enforcement really needs to step it up, unless you want your town overrun by low-rent ninjas.

Maybe that security camera was just really fast? No, that’s stupid. Get it together, ninja. Don’t be seen.

trending news facebook marketplace online drug haven funny win fail
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Fancy some eggs, or wanna slay like Bey for a tenner? Then check out Facebook's new Marketplace, which quickly went from innocently selling baby photoshoots, to a used car (with no brakes), to selling drugs to your Mom.





A quick look locally and we found a real gem:





Other people have found live hedgehogs and snakes...



There's also a snowsuit for your baby, I mean cat, no, I mean baby cat:



...or a passage through time:



Or some lamb:



A yurt for your bird...



...and a creepy AF clown toy:



This is already my favorite place to shop and it's only been open two days.





trending news video 2017 teddy ruxpin 80s toy fail
Via CNN
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Remember Teddy Ruxpin, the animated talking teddy bear from the 80's? Well, he's back, and even more creepy, with fully animated digital eyes, hitting store shelves in 2017.



Though currently a prototype, they seem keen to keep the creepy eyes an integral part of the bear in the future, as they brought one out for the public at a trade show recently:




I feel like we've seen how this ends already...







trending news parody video family guy jay z beyonce solange elevator fight funny
Via ThisIsRNB
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Peter Griffin hanging out in the elevator while Solange kicks Jay Z's a** is the best thing on the internet today:



Watch the original fight here.

...and try not to beat anyone up in the elevator if you're famous. I mean REALLY.





trending new movie news ben affleck new batman movie title funny
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Ben Affleck has announced the new title for his solo film project is "The Batman," and Twitter gave us our only thoughts on the matter: