What can really be said about a flub like this?
It’s bad, real bad.
In the future, the flub will probably be put into gif form and used as shorthand to express grief over the failure of a sure thing.
As Deadspin put it “This is not hyperbole.” This might be the worst shot ever taken. This player from a “Serbian lower league” misses an open goal from, like, an inch away. It's hard to watch.
As technology gets better, fake IDs get worse.
The Daily Hampshire Gazette reports that a woman was arrested outside a bar in Amherst, Mass, after she struck the doorman in the face. Now what could have led to that? When he asked for her ID, she attempted to give him a slice of pizza.
“After being informed that pizza was not a valid means of gaining entry to the establishment, the woman slapped the doorman in the face, according to police, and was issued a trespass notice to stay away from the location.”
Everyone knows that pizza isn’t a valid form of ID, but it is a good bargaining tool, whether you’re trying to get your kid brother to clean your room or you’re trying to lurer the Ninja Turtles back to your layer.
Look, physical violence is never acceptable, but it does seem like a lot of people in this situation had zero chill.
Move over, Elf on a Shelf, because Santa Claus is coming to town.
You'll be seeing some new, futuristic modes of surveillance this Christmas, as two new Santa Cameras hit the shelves. Meant to scare children into behaving, these new Claus-monitoring systems aim to replace the Elf on the Shelf as the premiere Santa surveillance hardware.
Created by Emmiroo’s Photography & Gifts, the Santa Camera looks like a security camera you'd see in a store, however, this supposedly has a direct line to the big man himself, who presumably sits in a room surrounded by television screens as a opposed to doing his job. This leads to an important question: Is Santa Claus' magic bound to the technology available at the time, or has he always had these security cams and chose not to use them.
Santa is bringing some next level fear and intimidation this holiday season. The Cam even comes with a cryptic note written by Kris Kringle, indicating that he’s got “keep a very close eye on you all.” We don't know what Santa thinks we did, but whatever it is, we're sorry.
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In addition to the physical camera, Santa Cam ornaments are also set to appear on Christmas trees this holiday season.
It’s only a matter of time before a whistleblower leaks the wide range of intel Santa’s collecting in the North Pole, Snowden style.
Check out The Huffington Post for more on the terrifying future we now live in.
Growing up can be tough, what with knowing when to brush your teeth and feeding yourself and, ugh, putting pants on. The worst.
Thankfully, someone has set out to confirm all the worst stereotypes about millennials and teach them how to break them. Enroll now in, *sigh* Adulting School. With classes in finance, health, relationships, communication, and handiwork, The Adulting School is here to teach you how to “Adult.”
Founded by psychotherapist Rachel Weinstein and former public school teacher Katie Brunelle and based out of Portland, Maine, The Adulting School offers a variety of seminars and classes on how to be a big person who can take care of themself. You can even take an Adulting IQ exam to find out how adult you are. Note: The exam does not ask the most common adult questions, such as "Who am I?" and "What am I doing with my life?"
Their website promises:
“You don't have a ton of time to commit or money to spend on figuring it all out and that's okay — we have succinct, useable, accessible information in our workshops, summits, webinars and blogs. We've gathered quality, down-to-earth experts as part of our community to answer your questions and get you moving forward with the adulting fundamentals you need.”
Get your life together and become a master adulter (that can’t be the right word) today!
Real life hasn’t been that much fun lately, right? With your job, Thanksgiving, and Tax Day (I mean, that thing's always around the corner), wouldn’t be nice to just get away for a while? Check out into a different reality.
Well, science is currently working on that, and our old friend Conan O’Brien got to try it out for himself. Over at the YouTube’s VR Lab in New York City, Conan took virtual reality for a test drive, performing his normal routine of yelling at employees, co-workers, robots, and gym coaches in the new digital world, on Conan last night.
This video should have you very excited for the future, where you can harass robots and eat corn on the cob sandwiches. Watch the video and you’ll get it.
There’s a new president, so there’s no more time to stand around. The Mannequin Challenge is over, and it’s time to move, take action, and cower in fear.
At least that’s the MO of the new viral sensation that’s sweeping high schools around Vine or Snapchat or whatever kids are using these days. Personally, I’m 952-years-old, so it’s all Myspace to me.
This new challenge is so easy, it’s almost instinctual. Someone yells, “Trump is coming” to a group of people, and everyone runs away in fear. It’s not so different from a Tokyo resident in a Godzilla movie, except much more real.
The challenge is barely funny. It’s more just a thing to look at, nod your head, and say, “Yeah, that sounds about right.”
Everyone loves Adele, right? With her dulcet tones, she’s captured the hearts of millions of fans worldwide, and they’re not all human.
At her concert in Mexico City on Tuesday night, Adele met the welcoming committee: A bat.
The bat, who’s probably just a huge fan that got a little too excited, fluttered around the concert hall and totally freaked out the “In the Deep” singer. Upon seeing said bat, the Grammy award-winning superstar began flapping her arms as if to mimic the flight of the bat and spinning in circles. She seemed scared.
“Oh my god,” she said. “There’s a f****** bat.”
In the end, Adele, who seemed a little shaken at first warmed up to her new fan and laughed it off.
But this is no laughing matter. Bats are dangerous, they are scary, they turn into vampires, and we should all respect their awesome power. Ok, Adele?
When a bat welcomes you to a new country @Adele #adelemexico pic.twitter.com/YvCZ7ImDTb
— H Ramos (@Hect) November 16, 2016
President-elect Trump loves his name. Who wouldn’t? It’s a name. It’s a verb. It’s one syllable. It looks great in front of a bad steak. But on a building, ehhhhhhh, some aren’t so sure.
This afternoon, workers began removing the name “Trump” from one of three luxury apartment buildings, which, look, is the biggest, most luxurious apartment building, but maybe bring up a couple uncomfortable feelings, like xenophobia, fear, political resentment, and divisiveness. Not exactly the type of thing you want for your domicile.
“Our goal was we have no interest in having any political position on anything,” said Sam Zell, the building’s owner. “Once Mr. Trump made the decision that he was going to enter the political scene, we looked at it and said, 'We just want to be neutral. We don't want to have an opinion.’”
According to The New York Times, hundreds of tenants petitioned to “Dump the TRUMP name.”
This is the most actively neutral name removal we've seen since Two Guys, a Girl, and a Pizza Place became just Two Guys and a Girl. Now, that’s a reference everyone can get behind.
