"Alcohol-soaked tampon. Alcohol absorbs like fitty times faster through the pooper."mic drop
Do people like this actually exist?
Last November this cat set the internet ablaze after being spotted on a supermarket shelf in South London, with an unparalleled pokerface.
Well, this cat's back. Yes, the exact same one, in the exact same store.
The cat has come back to Brockley Sainsbury's. pic.twitter.com/2AKRosiEGM— Nigel Thornberry (@J_Tema) January 6, 2016
Here's the photo from last November, in which he's wearing the same don't-fu*k-wit-me expression.
It's time for Sainsbury to face the cold, hard, and definitely furry truth; this cat ain't going anywhere.
Adam McKay and Will Ferrell catapulted their entertainment website, Funny or Die, back in '07 with an unrivaled viral hit sketch, 'The Landlord.'
In a recent interview, McKay disclosed some details about how such a masterpiece originated.
McKay went on to say his toddler, Pearl, was in a phase where she'd repeat back anything said to her. We're talking as far as Public Enemy lyrics.
This inspired his idea for a little short with his guest Will Ferrell, and the rest speaks for itself.
Following her immediate success, toddler Pearl was on the edge of her big break. She was offered a guest spot on Ellen, a spread in People magazine, and even a little role in a Jackie Chan flick. Her parents turned down all offers on her behalf.
Nowadays, little ten-year-old Pearl's untouched by any of her earlier fame. Who would've thunk it?
Hillary Clinton left her tin foil hat at home, was up late re-watching 'Independence Day' for the 99th time cause that movie just gets her; but she still brought her game face last week to drop some extraterrestrial wisdom on us all.
The Democratic presidential front-runner told the Conway Daily Sun during a campaign stop that, "I think we may have been [visited already]. We don't know for sure."
One can't even fathom how big D. Trump's going to roll with this one. He's probably not going to be chill about letting alien races set up shop on earth though.
It looks like Lemon had a bit too much of the bubbly on NYE. There are two sides forming as this budding controversy takes on a life of it's own.
Was Kathy Griffin's behavior inappropriate from the get-go, and was Lemmon's comment almost a poor guy with vaguely impaired judgment taking the bait?
Or was Lemon someone who clearly had been served enough, and was in no place to be interviewing/broadcasting publicly?
Maybe a bit of both.There's always cause to throw up a big 'so what?' What do you think?
This sh*t blows homebrew, kombucha, whatever out the water. Apparently we live in a world where our bodies possess the capability to brew booze.
An upstate New York woman blew a blood alcohol level four times the legal limit, but it's chill because she lives with an auto-brewery condition. Also known as gut-fermentation syndrome this rare medical condition occurs when gastrointestinal yeast converts common food carbs into ethanol.
The woman of our unbelievable story met her husband for lunch, where she consumed four drinks between the hours of noon and 6pm. After leaving the restaurant, her car experienced a flat tire, which she continued to drive on until a concerned driver phoned the police. It was then that an officer discovered her blood alcohol level was near 0.40. Because a 0.4 is an extreme and immediate threat to one's life, officers immediately took the woman to the hospital where she discovered, for the first time, that she suffers from gut-fermentation syndrome.
We're pretty sure this guy shows all indications of auto-brewery condition.
Take a look at the two young strapping lads in the first leaked image from the set of 'Neighbors 2.'
The sequel centers on the travesty that is a sorority opening up shop down the street from Teddy Sander's (Zac Efron) beer-soaked palace of decadent depravity. Apparently Selena Gomez is set to co-star as well, so there's that.
At least Seth's taking care of himself. Look at those abs and that definition. Sheesh.
India's set to kick off it's 2016 film year on an edgy, controversial note.
Two Bollywood comedies, both starring the same actor, are slated for release within a week of one another.
The films, Maastizaade (see still above) and Kya Kool Hain Hum 3 are set for release to the public after facing notable resistance from India's censor board. The films were originally barred a certificate from the famously hypercritical censor board, which was the same board to cut back on the kissing sequences in the latest James Bond flick, 'Spectre.'
The films will debut with their respective 'adult' certificates, but the censorship trivialities continue to endure.
India's Information and Broadcasting Ministry demands to know the reasoning behind censor board chief Pahlaj Nihalani's decision to pass the films. Nihalani validates his contested decision as one born of a 'Catch-22 situation.'
"When we strict with the vulgarity content, were were called prudes... So, we certified some films with scenes and dialogues that we would otherwise have never passed as they went against our guidelines," Nilhalani said.
This bold day tripper shoves two tabs of acid down his throat before showing up to cover a Monster Truck rally for VICE's 'On Acid' series. Suffice to say, Dr. Gonzo would've approved. After all, 'when the going gets weird, the weird turn pro.'
Also, how terrifying are those snow-cone mugs? In what universe would someone want to drink some rainbow slush out one of those?
We're not sure whether Jon Snow planned and practiced for this performance, or 'didna wanna do it.' There's no arguing over the fact this old lad would be the coolest grandpa at the next Christmas party.
Jon Snow describing Hotline Bling is all humanity ever needs. #BigFatQuizoftheYear— Laurence Hebberd (@LaurenceHebberd) December 26, 2015
SOBBING at jon snow dancing to hotline bling o m f g— cat & theodore (@catalina__rose) December 26, 2015
Jon Snow has made my day with his hotline bling dance 😂— JB™ (@Jonny_Bliss) December 27, 2015
Thought people were talking about Ned Stark's bastard Jon Snow with that Hotline Bling thing but that was 1000x better— Charles (@Charliegreenio) December 27, 2015
Watching Jon Snow dance to Hotline Bling is the best thing I've ever seen #bigfatquizoftheyear— Bec the Bat (@BecJTyrer) December 27, 2015
The Swedes are nuts man. In honor of upholding a Christmas tradition, a 25-year-old Swede set ablaze an enormous decorative goat made of straw.
The authorities are waiting to question the emboldened madman, likely hopped up on all manners of vodka, till he sobers up. Apparently the goat preceded Santa as the bringer of Christmas gifts in old Swedish tradition.
Tune in for a knockout performance from Kevin Kline's Calvin Fischoeder. Real talk though: how about those ice skating moves from his brother Felix, who looks graceful as a freaking swan.
Anyone else in the mood for a glass of something strong and distilled now? Take life on the rocks with bourbon, bourbon, oh bourbon, bourbon.
It's the day after Christmas and you're in bed mentally backpedaling through the various hoops and turns, and vocal explosions of yesterday's wine-soaked conversation. The food coma was unparalleled. Then someone committed the emboldened atrocity that is name-dropping Donald Trump in a perfectly sane and reasonably mannered conversation.
Like, excuse me?. To put it lightly you got pissed. It's alright. Trump happens. Make amends with an annual Vladimir Putin calendar. You could say he's showing us his soft side.
The calendar features various shots of Putin; from topless fishing, to the man caught amidst sweaty bouts of exercise; everyone's in for a wide-eyed smile with this one.
Do you even lift bro?