funny

Shame: is there a better sales tool?

If you’re not sure people will buy your cellphone, car, or piece of fruit, why not convince them that they’re bad if they don’t? Make them feel embarrassed or stupid. It just works. Shame sells.

That’s what Sodastream, the makers of a sparkling water machine, is doing, and they’re using your favorite show, Game of Thrones, to shame you.

Recreating Cersei Lannister’s walk of shame through King’s Landing, Sodastream enlists the help of Game of Thrones’ Thor Bjornsson (the Mountain) and Hannah Waddingham, who steps back into the role of Septa Unella, bell and all and shames a consumer for buying bottled seltzer at the store, like a real jerk.

via Mess Bog

Here’s a rundown of this perfectly normal, not crazy at all advertisement:

Like in Game of Thrones, Septa parades a person through the streets shouting “Shame” and ringing her bell. Only instead of shaming this consumer for political espionage and crimes against god, he’s shamed for buying bottled seltzer and crimes against “Mother Earth.” Septa chases the consumer back to the GoT set, where he meets the Mountain, who Mountain-splains the effects of plastic bottles on and the bounties of the environment, like peanuts! Then, back in his trailer, the Mountain sees the actress Hannah Waddingham taking off her Septa costume and is taken by her beauty. All in all, great commercial for a seltzermaker thingy.

via Dussenberg

Anyway, we should all be very ashamed of ourselves for even considering buying bottled seltzer over a Sodastream because peanuts. 

Based on their YouTube page, it looks like this is just the beingging of a whole sorted love affair between Septa and the Mountain, so get ready to feel weird for a while. 

via Shame or Glory

Enjoy this insane commercial!

It takes years of training to become a ninja, so don’t go stealing swords on your first day.

At least, “still in training” better be the excuse of this ninja, who broke into a comic book store in Anchorage, Alaska and stole a katana sword on Friday. In a move that would get any warrior removed from their dojo, or at the very least, reprimanded by their sansei, this ninja was caught on camera. It doesn’t even look like they're trying to evade the its lens.

There are just so many things wrong with this scenario. First, like, if you’re dressing up as a ninja, and you’re not going to find any cover, then, jeez, I don’t know, go back to training. Second, what is this ninja doing getting their steel from a comic book store? That thing better have been stolen from this ninja and they are merely retrieving it. Third, bring a smoke bomb, dude.

What is this world coming to? A ninja should be as elusive as a shadow, and this one came in like bull in a china shop. Nothing else was stolen, but if the ninja’s in Anchorage are this bad, law enforcement really needs to step it up, unless you want your town overrun by low-rent ninjas.

Maybe that security camera was just really fast? No, that’s stupid. Get it together, ninja. Don’t be seen.

Fancy some eggs, or wanna slay like Bey for a tenner? Then check out Facebook's new Marketplace, which quickly went from innocently selling baby photoshoots, to a used car (with no brakes), to selling drugs to your Mom.





A quick look locally and we found a real gem:





Other people have found live hedgehogs and snakes...

Glad FB Marketplace is taking up prime real estate in the app with deals like this!!! pic.twitter.com/a8ugvXJHuU

— Jillian D'Onfro (@jillianiles) October 3, 2016

There's also a snowsuit for your baby, I mean cat, no, I mean baby cat:



...or a passage through time:



Or some lamb:



A yurt for your bird...



...and a creepy AF clown toy:



This is already my favorite place to shop and it's only been open two days.

Remember Teddy Ruxpin, the animated talking teddy bear from the 80's? Well, he's back, and even more creepy, with fully animated digital eyes, hitting store shelves in 2017.



Though currently a prototype, they seem keen to keep the creepy eyes an integral part of the bear in the future, as they brought one out for the public at a trade show recently:

I feel like we've seen how this ends already...

Peter Griffin hanging out in the elevator while Solange kicks Jay Z's a** is the best thing on the internet today:

Watch the original fight here.

...and try not to beat anyone up in the elevator if you're famous. I mean REALLY.

Ben Affleck has announced the new title for his solo film project is "The Batman," and Twitter gave us our only thoughts on the matter:

Yes, @BenAffleck did say the current title of his Bat-flick was #TheBatman. But, he did say he could change it. pic.twitter.com/wXLORgUsF3

— Adam @TwitchCon (@adamhlavac) October 3, 2016

DJ Khaled is an author now.

His book, "The Keys" hits stores this November 22nd, and will be found near the "Success, Motivation & Self-Esteem" section on your local bookstore's shelves.

The hip-hop producer promises to provide such tips for success as "don't drive your jet ski in the dark."




His publisher is promising that the book will answer your pressing questions, like "[breaking] down the philosophy behind his trending catchphrases, including 'another one,' 'secure the bag,' 'special cloth alert,' 'bless up' and more."

The book description sounds more like Khaled is fleeing from an oppressive Scientology group than writing from a producer's perspective (who are the THEY he is afraid of?):



Buy a signed copy at a bargain price (shocker) here.

American Girls. Those super-expensive dolls you could buy to look creepily exactly like you, look nothing like you, or to just be cute:


She's definitely cute


We can agree--whether with our parents over how much they cost, or at our friends for not letting us rip off their heads or cut off their hair--we have all had anger toward them at some point in our lives.

Enter Betches and their definitive ranking of the American Girls by Betchiness.

We get the glory of seeing that entitled historical b*tch Samantha, finally getting put in her place.

...and seeing Josefina Montoya--pronounced "HO-SEF-INA" (I know, because I used to work there and was REQUIRED to correct people who called in to order one, fun times)--put in her damn place brings me NO END of pleasure:




Plus with randos like Caroline Abbott...


...you will feel the satisfying burn of familiar hatred sparked within the childlike center of your soul.


Don't you just hate our faces?!


Check out more of the awesomeness and pick your favorite betch here.

The good folks over at Estately Blog have an excellent sense of humor.

They "placed our minds in the gutter and spent days looking over detailed maps and scrutinizing the names of all cities, towns, and unincorporated communities for anything that sounded even remotely sexual or perverse."



Have a laugh and enjoy their intended "The Master List of the Most Obscene Town Names in America," as you make your next vacation plans.



Also check out their list of Oddest Town Names in each State as you ponder over the sexual issues of the people of Tennessee...

So HiddleSwift is over...

Wow #HiddleswiftIsOver ?! What a surprise....☕️🐸 pic.twitter.com/XCzfE0p2AF

— Hope (@itsmehope13) September 7, 2016

...and the internet is all over it:

Going to work today like... #HiddleswiftIsOver pic.twitter.com/5kBo5qkgqE

— Angela (@Anzjulaa) September 7, 2016

Oh Amy, how we love you so. Check out 4:15 in the video, where Amy Schumer reveals her sexual history with Patrick Stewart, as she accepted her Man of the Year Award for Best Woman at the British GQ awards ceremony.


You'll always be my Man of the Year, Amy.

Summer's almost over, but the fun can keep going all Autumn long with this Giant Cockroach Raft!



Just think--Dad puts the cover on the pool, you sneak out and hide this baby underneath it, next summer when he goes to open the pool BAM! HEART ATTACK!!

There's also this beauty that I'd love to ride:



I'm gonna ride this heat wave as long as possible, goddammit...

Twitter is erupting with the hilarious hashtag of #NameBrandMovieQuotes. Check out some highlights here:

Keep your friends close but your Dominos closer #NameBrandMovieQuotes pic.twitter.com/I0WzFP4y7a

— ✨Nikki✨ (@The_mrstouch) August 24, 2016

Turn up your man-crushes folks, because Chris Pratt has once again won our hearts by giving us commentary from his recent InStyle Magazine shoot.

He took to Instagram and relayed hilarious anecdotes for all of his fans to see:













The whole hilarious series culminated in this awesomeness:





We heart you, Chris Pratt!

Rio was crazy busy over the weekend! Here are the highlights of what you missed:

1. You missed the torch lighting by Vanderlei de Lima, an athlete from the 2004 Athens Olympics who had been attacked during the 2004 games during his event. No one stabbed him this time though.
   
   
2. Giselle did a stupid walk across the stage in a shiny dress. Was it cool? No. Was it meaningful? Debatable. Was it pointless? DEFINITELY.
   
   
3. There was a hot guy in the opening ceremonies from Tonga and he was really really shiny for no apparent reason. We are all better people for it.
   
   
4. A French gymnast suffered the worst break during a qualifier. Ouch. JEEEEZ. Almost TOO graphic. You won't unsee this.
   
   
   
   Oh, wait, yeah, let's just see that one more time...
   
   
   
   So shiny!