funny

trending news celebrity dj khaled personal philosophy book release november
Via RapDose
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DJ Khaled is an author now.

His book, "The Keys" hits stores this November 22nd, and will be found near the "Success, Motivation & Self-Esteem" section on your local bookstore's shelves.

The hip-hop producer promises to provide such tips for success as "don't drive your jet ski in the dark."




His publisher is promising that the book will answer your pressing questions, like "[breaking] down the philosophy behind his trending catchphrases, including 'another one,' 'secure the bag,' 'special cloth alert,' 'bless up' and more."

The book description sounds more like Khaled is fleeing from an oppressive Scientology group than writing from a producer's perspective (who are the THEY he is afraid of?):



Buy a signed copy at a bargain price (shocker) here.




trending satire news american girl betchiness ranking lol
Via Betches
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American Girls. Those super-expensive dolls you could buy to look creepily exactly like you, look nothing like you, or to just be cute:


She's definitely cute


We can agree--whether with our parents over how much they cost, or at our friends for not letting us rip off their heads or cut off their hair--we have all had anger toward them at some point in our lives.

Enter Betches and their definitive ranking of the American Girls by Betchiness.

We get the glory of seeing that entitled historical b*tch Samantha, finally getting put in her place.

...and seeing Josefina Montoya--pronounced "HO-SEF-INA" (I know, because I used to work there and was REQUIRED to correct people who called in to order one, fun times)--put in her damn place brings me NO END of pleasure:




Plus with randos like Caroline Abbott...


...you will feel the satisfying burn of familiar hatred sparked within the childlike center of your soul.


Don't you just hate our faces?!


Check out more of the awesomeness and pick your favorite betch here.


trending news sexual funny american town names
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The good folks over at Estately Blog have an excellent sense of humor.

They "placed our minds in the gutter and spent days looking over detailed maps and scrutinizing the names of all cities, towns, and unincorporated communities for anything that sounded even remotely sexual or perverse."



Have a laugh and enjoy their intended "The Master List of the Most Obscene Town Names in America," as you make your next vacation plans.



Also check out their list of Oddest Town Names in each State as you ponder over the sexual issues of the people of Tennessee...




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Oh Amy, how we love you so. Check out 4:15 in the video, where Amy Schumer reveals her sexual history with Patrick Stewart, as she accepted her Man of the Year Award for Best Woman at the British GQ awards ceremony.


You'll always be my Man of the Year, Amy.


trending news funny pool toy cockroach float
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Summer's almost over, but the fun can keep going all Autumn long with this Giant Cockroach Raft!



Just think--Dad puts the cover on the pool, you sneak out and hide this baby underneath it, next summer when he goes to open the pool BAM! HEART ATTACK!!

There's also this beauty that I'd love to ride:



I'm gonna ride this heat wave as long as possible, goddammit...




trending twitter hashtag namebrandmoviequotes funny
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Twitter is erupting with the hilarious hashtag of #NameBrandMovieQuotes. Check out some highlights here:





trending celebrity news chris pratt instyle magazine behind the scenes commentary funny
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Turn up your man-crushes folks, because Chris Pratt has once again won our hearts by giving us commentary from his recent InStyle Magazine shoot.

He took to Instagram and relayed hilarious anecdotes for all of his fans to see:













The whole hilarious series culminated in this awesomeness:





We heart you, Chris Pratt!

Rio Olympic Highlights 2016 funny lists
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Rio was crazy busy over the weekend! Here are the highlights of what you missed:

  1. You missed the torch lighting by Vanderlei de Lima, an athlete from the 2004 Athens Olympics who had been attacked during the 2004 games during his event. No one stabbed him this time though.

  2. Giselle did a stupid walk across the stage in a shiny dress. Was it cool? No. Was it meaningful? Debatable. Was it pointless? DEFINITELY.

  3. There was a hot guy in the opening ceremonies from Tonga and he was really really shiny for no apparent reason. We are all better people for it.

  4. A French gymnast suffered the worst break during a qualifier. Ouch. JEEEEZ. Almost TOO graphic. You won't unsee this.



    Oh, wait, yeah, let's just see that one more time...



    So shiny!



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You Can Now Become a True Pokémon Master Thanks to These Pokémon-Themed Sex Toys

Anyone out there wanna be the best like no one ever was - but in the sheets?...Well these Pokémon-inspired dildos might be just what you're looking for.

Specifically, 'Pokémoan' is a creation from Geeky Sex Toys, a workshop of self-proclaimed 'cheeky nerds', currently based out of Brisbane, Australia. Brace yourself folks, cause some of the following images aren't exactly 'office-friendly'!

brock Pokémon news pokemon go sex toys squirtle pikachu sexy times funny - 876805
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news-guy-playing-pokemon-go-walks-himself-into-police-custody
Via Fox 2
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Sometimes we lose ourselves amidst the pursuit to catch 'em all...Let's just hope that this fool over in Milford, Michigan wasn't actually trying to catch a Parasect before he was apprehended by police authorities. 

Chief Thomas Lindberg said the man (William Wilcox) just made it easy, by showing up. Wilcox, a repeat offender with a warrant out for his arrest, ended up right in front of the men that'd go on to take him into custody.

"It was a misdemeanor warrant for a failure to appear on a breaking and entering charge," Lindberg said. "They approached him. Took him in custody without incident and he admitted he was trying to catch the character at the flagpole."

funny-guy-sends-seth-rogen-weird-nudes-since-may
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EVERY day since May 26th. Dude, I can't even.





And then glorious beauty struck. Seth stepped to the plate, and address the incessant string of 'exposed' tweets:



Things weren't weird enough though, were they?



I'm DONE.

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So well, this is what it's come to huh? No, not actually; but it's only a matter of time before this laughable commentary on gettin' offended becomes a reality.

“From the color of your Starbucks cup to a lion being shot in Africa, don’t miss your chance to get offended today about an issue you didn’t know existed yesterday!”

Sh*t, indeed.  

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This Gas Station's Sign Has Jokes Instead of Specials

The owners of this Seattle gas station decided to do something a little different with their sign. When they weren't sure what kind of specials to advertise, they just put up jokes instead.

gas station funny list sign - 756997
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funny politics metal Is Ted Cruz Living a Double Life as the Lead Singer of Stryper?
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Stryper is a Christian metal hair band that found some mainstream success in the 80s. And Ted Cruz looks exactly like the led singer, Michael Sweet. 

Could he secretly be the frontman of this band, probably, but no one knows for sure. Michael Sweet has acknowledged the resemblance (kind of):


via @michaelhsweet

But it seems like he isn't that happy about the comparison and his fans DEFINITELY aren't.  The Daily Dot posted this rant by a fan that was posted in the Facebook group Stryper Strong and has now been deleted:

Ok, we've all now seen at least a dozen times the Ted Cruz looks like Michael in one photo from 1983. I've been tagged, had it forwarded to me and have deleted countless postings on the Stryper page that I am webmaster for. First, stop it! Second, it's making fun of the band and my best friends. Third, it's making fun of anyone who dares be a fan (in other words....YOU). I don't like ANY of that! I discussed this with Michael the day he posted it and the only reason he posted was because of the free press that comes from it. He didn't like the post either and removed the original persons name from it. It has now grown to the point of being ridiculous. So, can I ask everyone to not post it anymore and to move on? Can we all agree on that? Can I get a like or comment of agreement on this? Sorry, it isn't funny anymore. (Never was).


Whether he's ready to "move on" or not, Sweet is certainly embracing the extra publicity:


via michaelhsweet

Or should we say, Ted Cruz is embracing the publicity?

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This Poor Cat Was Forced to Take a Bath and the Photoshops of It Only Add to the Humiliation

Every once in a while it is necessary to give your cat a bath. Hopefully, this guy really needed it because, judging by his 'thousand yard stare', he did not enjoy it. Or, maybe he was just a little surprised that his picture was taken. Now, to make matters worse, he's become the focus of a hilarious Photoshop battle.

list photoshop Cats funny - 750085
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