Probably bad News

"Kill it With Fire" is Just an Expression: A Seattle Man Caused $60,000 in Damages Trying to Kill a Spider With Spray Paint and a Lighter

What the Heck is Going on Here? A Man Looking for His Lost Son is Told He's Been Found... in His Own Basement.

Pro Tip for You Amateur Burglars: Log Out of Facebook Before Exiting the Smash and Grab

These Are All Actual Comments From the Story of One "Handsome" Criminal Arrest

Santa Claus Here Wanted to Pay His Ex-Wife a Visit Through the Chimney

It's a Miracle Nobody Was Killed by This Rogue Flying Buzzsaw Blade. Let Me Repeat That: Buzz. Saw. Blade.

It Looked Like Another Ordinary News Report, but This Newsbomber Decided to Drink a Very Special Cocktail

Take a Good Look: This is Where 20 MILLION Bees Accidentally Got Loose in Philadelphia

This is the Woman Who Called 911 After Subway Put Marinara Sauce on Her Pizza

Only in America Could an Accidental Refill Cost You Your Job

Irony of the Day: A Man Named Christopher Reeve Wearing a Superman Shirt Was Busted for Meth

There's a New Sheriff in Town

Your Arrest of the Day Features a Suspect Caught in a Cookie Monster Onesie, Because This is the World We Live in

The Story of Lux the Furious Cat Proves That Portland PD Really DOES Have to Deal With the Weird Cases

Still Not Safe to Go in the Water of the Day: Of Course There's a Giant Crocodile Surfing on an Australian Beach

Total Grossness of the Day: Happy Birthday (HURK)